Josh Cavallo: I try to turn death threats into a positive

A lot of people want Josh Cavallo dead.

Not that you'd know it from the way the 23-year-old carries himself.

It's been 17 months since the Adelaide United midfielder became - at the time - the world's only top-flight male professional footballer to come out as gay - and since then, his social media accounts have been a beacon of positivity.

'Live your truth'. 'Embrace your individuality'. 'Be you'.

Alongside each post, there are photos of the Australian with the easy-going grin of a man who has accepted who he is.

But don't kid yourself. The death threats still come.

"They catch you when you least expect it," Cavallo says.

"And most of the time, I'm good, I'm OK, because it's just someone's insecurities. But sometimes, I'm at home on my phone and bang, it pops up, and it's something you don't really want to think about.

"It's hard at times because it's been nearly two years now and there are still death threats being thrown my way. Is it acceptable? Of course not; it's disgusting.

"But I know that, to pave the way for others in the world, I have to go through this. And I know who I'm doing it for, which is the people who are suffering in silence."

'The best way I can describe it is a 24/7 act'

Cavallo knows just what it's like to experience a solitary struggle with sexuality.

A player who has done much to change the sport had no intention of getting into football when he was growing up in Victoria.

"Me and my brother would play in the backyard and it was something I had a lot of fun with," Cavallo remembers.

"He's a soccer fanatic and was the one who was supposed to make it. He knew everything about it, woke up early in the morning to watch every game… I was just tagging along. But I started to get a bit more serious with it, and ended up with my first professional contract at 16."

But it was at 16 that Cavallo realised he was gay. He was about to embark on a career in a sport where people like him supposedly didn't exist.

For years, the Australian hid his sexuality.

"I didn't tell my brother, I didn't tell my parents, I didn't tell my family or friends," he says.

"The best way I can describe it is a 24/7 act. When I'm rocking up for training, when I'm getting changed in the dressing room, when I'm getting a drinks break… it was literally every little incident during the day.

"And then it was going home afterwards and not hanging out with friends because I didn't want to give hints away, so you isolate yourself. I wanted to seclude myself from everyone so they didn't get any suspicious behaviour.

"It's a mask you have to put on and pretend you're someone else, and that's really hard - especially when you're trying to elevate your game in football and be the best person you can possibly be."

'You know how many times I typed out that message and deleted it?'

Former Hull City youth player Thomas Beattie helped Cavallo develop the confidence to come out

It was a dark time for Cavallo.

Eventually, he realised something had to change.

The Australian had heard the story of Thomas Beattie - the former Hull City youth player who'd come out as gay in 2020 - and nervously, tentatively, decided to send him a message.

"You know how many times I typed that out, deleted it, told myself I couldn't do it?" Cavallo says.

"So messaging Thomas was definitely a brave step, but it was the best thing I've ever done. He opened his arms and took me under his wing, and I knew what I said was in a safe space.

"That gave me the confidence to keep going, until I said to Tommy: 'I don't want to be like this. I want to come out.'"

Having made that decision, Cavallo began to let people in on the secret he'd held for so long.

Up first were his coaches at Adelaide United.

"I sat down with them and explained what was going on, and they completely understood," he says. "If anything, they were a bit sad that I'd had to hide it for so long.

"After that, I went out and trained, and felt like 10 kilos of weight were off my shoulders. It was the best thing ever, and it was only two people who knew!

"The next day, we had a big huddle with everyone in the changing room and I basically announced who I was. Everyone in that room had tears in their eyes, which was so nice because these people become like your brothers and I hadn't seen that side of them before.

"So to celebrate this together, such a big stage of my life… I couldn't be prouder of how they all handled themselves. It made me wonder why I'd been hiding for so long.

"After that, I walked to my car, pressed the 'post' button on the video, chucked my phone in my glovebox and drove home. And from then, my life changed pretty quickly!"

'I had a worldwide hug - but coming out was to make me happy'

Ah yes, that video.

Tweeted by Adelaide United with a two-word caption - 'Josh's Truth' - it's now been viewed more than 11 million times. The world watched Cavallo speak publicly about his sexuality for the first time.

"It was like I had a big worldwide hug from everyone," the Australian says.

"It was fantastic to see the allies who reached out and said: 'Congratulations, this is great.' Zlatan Ibrahimovic, David de Gea, Antoine Griezmann - the list goes on and on!

"But for me, I wasn't depending on a reaction. Coming out wasn't to make other people happy, it was to make me happy - and whether it went good or bad, I'd won the race. It was amazing to see the reaction from the public, but even if it didn't go well, I'd still be exactly how I am now."

So, first and foremost, Cavallo did it for himself. But his decision has helped inspire other men in football to speak too.

Players such as Jake Daniels and Zander Murray have pointed to the significance of Cavallo's story in their own coming out journeys - and the Australian says he's in regular contact with other men in sport who are considering the same step, albeit at a time that feels right for them.

He's also using his platform to push for greater equality in sport, with initiatives such as the A-League's first-ever Pride Round, and to call out the repression of LGBTQ+ people around the world, condemning Uganda's new anti-homosexuality bill as "disgusting".

Yet doing that has come at a cost.

"The thing for me now is yes, you do see the happy story and the positive vibes, which is fantastic," Cavallo says.

"But I can open my phone and see countless messages of death threats, and there were games where I got homophobic abuse. And this is going to come my way."

There's a moment of reflection, before his smile returns.

"But overall, I'm pretty strong," he says.

"And whenever it happens, I think of the moments where I've had people stopping me and saying how much of an impact I've had on them. I try to turn it into a positive, and not to care what someone thinks about me, so long as I'm doing the right thing and helping people become themselves and live their lives.

"So you know what? You can send all the hate and death threats you want my way. I'm not going to change my behaviour."

If you've been affected by any of the issues or emotions raised in this article, help and support is available at BBC Action Line.

Josh Cavallo was speaking to Jack Murley on the BBC's LGBT Sport Podcast. You can hear new episodes every Wednesday on BBC Sounds.