Gary Speed's death, 12 years on: 'Why? How did this happen? How can it happen?'

Warning: This article contains references to suicide and mental health issues.

Tony Quaglia will never forget the day - or even the exact moment - he found out his close friend Gary Speed had died.

"It was my birthday - November 27, 2011," recalls the former Wales kit-man and nutritionist.

"I got a call at 8.30am that fateful morning telling me what happened. I refused to believe it. I told the person who'd called me that it wasn't April Fool's Day."

The much-loved former Wales manager had taken his own life. His body was found by his wife Louise at their home.

Almost 12 years on, it brings Quaglia to tears to describe the shock, pain and disbelief he felt - and still feels - at the devastating news.

Quaglia - part of the Wales backroom team under Mark Hughes between 1999 and 2004 - says Speed was one of his best friends in football.

He's now set up a charity in Speed's memory aimed at raising awareness about mental health issues and funding research into it.

"After I got that phone call [in November 2011] I phoned Roger Speed, Gary's dad, and asked him if it was true [that Gary had died]. He said 'Yes, Quags, it is true.'

"A lot went through my mind. Why? How did this happen? How can it happen?

"I phoned Mark Hughes, Craig Bellamy, Robbie Savage [to tell them the news] - players who were close to Speedo and among my best friends in football.

"Craig and me discussed a lot what could've happened, but we couldn't come up with anything.

"It was just difficult to comprehend what Gary had done, knowing he was such a level-headed guy.

"Three weeks before he died, Gary was at my house in Llanelli. We had a good laugh as we normally did.

"There was absolutely no hint whatsoever of any form of depression or Gary being unhappy.

"When he left he said he'd phone or text me. I never heard from him again."

No hint of depression. No sign anything was wrong. Yet it's the nagging thought of what Speed may have been going through - along with his own health issues - that's inspired Quaglia to establish the charity and embark on a fund-raising tour of Speed's former clubs.

Quaglia and the team he has put together - which includes former Wales internationals such as Neville Southall and Andy Melville - are planning a series of events starting in Swansea in October.

Current Wales bosses Robert Page and Gemma Grainger, former manager Chris Coleman and other football stars, including Savage and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink have backed the campaign.

But why do it now, almost 12 years on from Speed's death?

• Watch: Gary Speed - 12 Years On

"I wouldn't have been able to do it a few years ago - physically or mentally," he says.

"I was ill for many years. I had renal [kidney] cancer in 2011. I was on dialysis for many years. I had a transplant in 2021 which put my life back on track again, and that's when I decided to do something about mental health awareness.

"I'd gone through so much emotionally. But there was no-one there to help me. That affects you. It takes a toll on what you're thinking.

"I don't know what Gary was thinking. But maybe I've got some type of idea that you go through this [mental health problems] alone.

"Sometimes you don't want to talk about it because you feel there's no solution.

"There are people out there suffering, and they don't have to. They can get help.

"It's happening to a lot of people. We want to make mental health awareness a priority. People have got to know about this. The stigma needs to be taken away from it.

"It's a horrible illness, which people suffer alone because those around them don't even know they're suffering. It could happen to anyone."

If you, or someone you know, have been affected by any issues raised in this article, support and information is available at BBC Action Line. You can also contact the Samaritans on a free helpline 116 123, or visit the website.