The footballer defying grief to serve her country

Blessing Illivieda joined a Nigeria training camp just days after the death of her husband Ibrahim

Courage in sport is often defined by moments on the pitch - be it last-minute goals, bruising tackles or improbable comebacks.

The word has taken on a deeper meaning for Nigerian footballer Blessing Illivieda over the past few weeks.

On 23 May, just days before she was due to report to a Super Falcons training camp, the 27-year-old's world changed forever when her husband Ibrahim Abiola died suddenly after a brief illness.

"I miss him so much," Illivieda told BBC Sport Africa.

"I have a picture of him I look at before going out for training, and tell him to keep watch over me as I chase the dreams we both had for my career.

"It was my second call-up and he was very excited for me. He had planned to come watch our game (against Cameroon).

"I was expecting him to come watch me like he promised.

"It was a surprise when I was called [and told] he was sick and admitted to the hospital. He died two days later."

Despite being in the midst of grief, Illivieda took a decision which few would have the strength to make.

After consulting with family members she elected to join up with her international team-mates.

"Not everyone will understand," the defender admitted.

"My husband's elder sister said even if I cry until tomorrow, what has happened has happened. I spoke with my mother and said I do not want to go to the camp. She told me to go and use it to honour my husband.

"It's not easy for me, but coming to camp was a way of honouring him. Being part of it means a lot to me."

With Nigeria preparing for the 2024 Women's Africa Cup of Nations (Wafcon), the sympathy she received after her loss was combined with others who questioned her decision.

Illivieda was an unused substitute in the 2-0 win over Cameroon on 3 June, but her own conviction never wavered.

"People will always talk but I am focused on making a victory out of my pain," she said.

A love story beyond the pitch

Blessing and her late husband Ibrahim Abiola got married in January 2023

Ibrahim had played football for Nigeria at youth level, and his marriage to Illivieda was rooted in mutual respect and shared ambition.

After tying the knot on 21 January 2023, the couple faced the usual societal pressures that weigh heavily on newlyweds in many African communities.

"There's always been some concern about our marriage," Illivieda said.

"[There was] pressure from family and in-laws for us to start [having] children shortly after we got married."

But Ibrahim was happy to choose long-term vision over short-term tradition.

"My husband was fully in support of my career and encouraged me, even when it was difficult to combine marriage with professional football," she shared.

"He really wanted me to wear the national colours and go higher than he ever did."

That ambition now fuels her every move on and off the pitch as she aims to keep the promise they made to each other.

Culture, courage and criticism

In many parts of Africa, widowhood comes with rituals which include enforced mourning periods and expectations of seclusion from public life.

These traditions, often shaped by the patriarchy, rarely consider the personal ambitions or emotional needs of a grieving woman.

Illivieda's quiet defiance is not a rejection of local culture, but a call for a broader understanding on the grieving process - that it does not always look the same and that healing does not have to come in hiding away.

She has drawn strength from both her Christian faith and the memory of her husband's encouragement.

"God is the ultimate comforter," she said.

"I find comfort in Him and in the memories of the support my husband gave me."

Her message to other widows, particularly younger women facing similar pressures, is simple yet powerful.

"What you produce from your pain makes you a winner," she said.

"Your victory after your struggles and sorrow is what matters."

A champion's mindset

Illivieda helped her club side Bayelsa Queens to the domestic league title this season

Illivieda is the captain of Bayelsa Queens and, just eight days before Ibrahim's death, the club won their second Nigeria Women's Football League title.

Able to operate on either flank as a wing-back, the past season has been one of the most intense and fulfilling of her career.

"It's my second title with the team and I am proud of our effort," she beamed.

"I was constantly motivating the girls to remain focused on what we wanted to achieve."

Despite her versatility, Illivieda was overlooked for Nigeria's final 26-player squad for the 2024 Wafcon finals in July.

The West Africans will travel to Morocco seeking to reassert themselves as the true powerhouse of women's football on the continent.

The Super Falcons won a record-extending ninth Wafcon title in 2018 but finished fourth at the last edition of the tournament in 2022.

"I'll keep praying for the team to succeed," she said.

"We are the giant of African women's football. We can do it again."

As her international team-mates prepare to take on the rest of the continent, Illivieda carries the memory of a man who believed in her.

A determination to make him proud endures.