'He was a mess' - the road back from injury hell
Macauley Southam-Hales was injured on his 100th appearance for Stockport
- Published
“I was walking around the house backwards on crutches because I couldn't go forward."
A professional footballer's livelihood relies on them staying fit.
Competition for starting places is tough and careers can be fleeting.
Stockport County right-back Macauley Southam-Hales knows this all too well, having suffered a career-threatening knee injury on 3 February 2024.
Nine months later he returned, but the journey back to the first team was tough.
The 28-year-old recounted his path from the operating table and back to the pitch as part of BBC Radio Manchester's Road To Recovery series.
'My kneecap has flown up to the top of my quad'
Like many footballers in a sport where injury is an occupational hazard, Cardiff-born Southam-Hales has been no stranger to the treatment table since he joined Stockport from Fleetwood Town in 2020.
He collided headfirst with an advertising board during an FA Cup tie in November 2022 and then missed much of the rest of that season with a broken foot.
But both of those misfortunes paled into comparison with what was to come on 3 February 2024.
Southam-Hales had registered his seventh assist of the season in what would end up a 1-1 draw with Harrogate Town when his painful ordeal began.
What first seemed innocuous - as is so often the case with serious injuries - was much more concerning and came after Southam-Hales lost possession of the ball and went down as he strove to recover.
"As I looked down, my kneecap was sort of misplaced, but then it had moved back. I thought my kneecap had sort of dislocated and went back in," he said.
"I'm not in pain, so I think to myself nothing bad will have happened, but then as I went to bend my leg, a big separation had happened where my kneecap had flown up to the top of my quad.
"It caused a big hole through the middle where I could put my finger straight down, which is quite gruesome."
With that, his season was over, and a strained trip to the hospital followed, during which the reality of the situation began to sink in.
"Instantly my heart just dropped, and then I saw him punch the floor, and I said this isn't good," Southam-Hales' wife, Daena, added.
"He was a mess. I've never seen him like that before. He was apologising to me and his mum. His head was all over the place as well. He was crying, trying to explain what's going on all at once, and when the pain kicked in, he started screaming.
"There's nothing you can do to help. I just said, 'stop apologising; you just need to figure out what's going on.'"
'My leg was just a dead weight'
Macauley Southam-Hales shows the staples on his leg after surgery on his patella tendon
Southam-Hales had ruptured his patella tendon. A serious and career-threatening knee injury, ruling him out for between six to nine months.
"The specialist came in and told me the full breakdown and how bad it is and then he gave me some crutches. It's funny when I think of it now, but at the time it was so weird what happened," he recounted.
"He put the crutches on the floor and said, 'Now move and try and use them', and my foot was cemented to the floor. I had no connection to the bottom half of my leg; it was just like a dead weight on the floor.
"With crutches, you've got to try and put your leg forward because that mechanism is dependent on it. But I just couldn't do it, and my leg just kept going backwards and I said, 'What's going on here?'
"He said it was a telltale sign that it had fully gone, and I just broke down again. I got home and I was walking around the house backwards, on crutches because I couldn't go forward."
What followed was a dark period. Supported by his family, Southam-Hales began the long road to recovery.
"Between us we did have the conversation that I think we were worried about his mental state," said his mum, Tanya.
"I said to him, 'As a parent, I don't care if you never kick a ball again. I just want you happy'.
"Don't ever feel like you've got to carry on doing this for anyone else but yourself."
'The worst thing you can do is leave them'
Despite his absence, Macauley Southam-Hales was not forgotten as Stockport eventually sealed the 2023-24 League Two title
Macauley, or Macca as he is known, won promotion from the National League to the EFL in his second season with the Hatters – the club where his career had truly taken off - in 2021-22.
Having recovered from the head and foot injuries he subsequently suffered, he had regained a regular place in Dave Challinor’s side early last season, making 24 appearances before injury struck again.
Such is the respect and admiration that Stockport's squad piled on Southam-Hales, he was missed in more ways than one as they set about finishing a season that resulted in them winning the League Two title.
"If you were to name one player you wouldn't want to pick up an injury of that nature, every single person after themselves would say Macca," Stockport boss Challinor said of the injury.
Fitted with a brace and walking on crutches, the physical side of a major injury recovery is stark.
But what is less apparent from the outside looking in is missing out on training, playing and the tail end of a promotion-winning campaign.
"The worst thing you can do really is leave them because he will feel like he's not a footballer anymore and will feel like he's on the sideline," Luke Smith, Stockport County physiotherapist, said during his recovery.
"It's really important for us to FaceTime him each day, get him involved and in the building when we can, but also at the same time give him the time off that he needs. Contact is really important for him."
In addition to his recovery, Southam-Hales had contract negotiations to contend with and faced the prospect of having to leave Stockport while going through rehabilitation and therefore making the task of finding another club more difficult.
"It was a difficult situation for me to be in. You go back and forth, and they say no to this or no to that. I was always going to take my time. I was never going to rush myself into anything," Southam-Hales said when negotiations over his contract were under way.
"The club has been first class to me, and I hope to repay them and get the jersey back on in League One and get back flying."
From Captain Jack Sparrow to 'feeling like a footballer again'
Macaluey Southam-Hales returned to action in Stockport County's 2-1 FA Cup first round win against Forest Green Rovers on 2 November - 274 days after he was injured
Released by hometown club Cardiff City without making a Bluebirds appearance and having played just twice in the EFL for Fleetwood before being let go, Southam-Hales has dealt with plenty of adversity during his career.
But this was almost certainly his biggest, hardest challenge yet.
Stuart Irwin, Stockport's head of medical services, makes clear just how far Southam-Hales has come as well as the difficulty in guiding his rehabilitation.
"He was walking around like Captain Jack Sparrow with his peg leg. How do you get from that to the guy that's running around the pitch and having the confidence to do that?" Irwin said.
"That's the process, so we've got to think he has to be there, so how do we get him there?
"You can't just go on the bottom end straight up. You've got to go in a nice linear trajectory."
Slowly but surely, the good times followed for Macca. Shortly after he joined the players on the pitch in celebrating the League Two title, a new one-year contract was signed in May, with the club committing to his recovery.
Having missed an initial target return of September after narrowly failing an isokinetic test on the strength of his injured knee in comparison to his healthy knee, Macca kept pressing for his return.
He finally made his comeback at Edgeley Park, 274 days after his injury, turning out in an FA Cup first-round tie against Forest Green Rovers.
"I felt like a footballer again pulling up to the game. It was nice to have that feeling of being part of it and doing my job as a footballer," Southam-Hales added.
"I came out, tried to get some prep into my knees, and then 15 minutes flew, and I got the nod when he turned around and told me to get ready.
"My family were just behind me. I turned around and blew them all a kiss and I was ready to go.
"That's one thing I've missed, letting them watch me and making them proud and to get that feeling back it was like making my debut again. It's a moment I'll remember forever."