Sophie Robinson: Ex-Wales hockey star reflects on career

Sophie Robinson was awarded her 50th cap in the opening match of the Commonwealth Games

Former Wales hockey international Sophie Robinson said the sport "has shaped her hugely" as she reflected on her rollercoaster career.

Robinson, 34, retired from international duty after making 54 appearances - her last coming in the Commonwealth Games this summer.

The forward spoke out about mental health struggles and the financial barriers facing elite hockey players.

"It was very emotional, but I left for the right reasons," she told the BBC.

"Any athlete will tell you the preparation for a major tournament is a lot on the body and the mind. Physically I thought my body was ready for a rest.

"My coach said I looked great, but in myself I was just tired. I would have loved to do [the European] qualifiers, but I've definitely done the right thing. I will miss the girls a lot though."

'It makes no sense whatsoever'

Robinson ended her international career on a high after fulfilling a lifelong ambition of competing in a major tournament.

The Beeston star missed out on the Commonwealth Games in 2010 as she was not eligible to represent Wales through her grandparents' birth.

After that an eight-year absence from the international scene followed, impacted by the growing financial costs of representing Wales.

"For some players it can be quite challenging," said Robinson.

"You look at the year ahead and you have to count not only what Wales hockey need off you financially, but also food, petrol and potential accommodation costs.

"It was part of the reason why I left. It's so disappointing to still be in a situation where you are having to fund an international career. It makes no sense whatsoever."

Robinson had stick sponsors who helped provide equipment and kit, but they could not support her financially.

A close friend and former coach helped fund Robinson's career, but had to withdraw during the Covid-19 pandemic.

"It's disappointing I had to take eight years out of my international career. I could have hit 100 caps at the Commonwealth Games maybe if it wasn't for that.

"The girls do struggle mentally with the financial difficulties, definitely."

'It spoilt some of my experiences'

Sophie Robinson still plays hockey with Beeston and enjoys coaching at the club

Robinson's international career was "special" but was a big commitment as players worked or studied full-time outside of hockey and travelled long distances for tournaments and training camps.

"We have to do other things to support this country to do well in sport and to keep inspiring the younger generation. It is always a privilege and an honour to put the Wales shirt on though," she said.

Preparing for the Commonwealth Games was demanding as Robinson developed anxiety during Covid.

Supposedly basic tasks like sitting in on team meetings or eating during set meal times were a struggle for Robinson.

"It spoilt some of my experiences after that," she said.

"It got to the point where I said 'I don't think I can play, I don't think I can put myself through this.' I still struggle now and then, but it's got better because I spoke up about it.

"The Commonwealth Games was very overwhelming. There were so many people, cultures and changes. I was more nervous about the opening ceremony than I was playing the games. It was strange."

Robinson is grateful for the support she received from staff and team-mates during the Games but knew the time was right to end her international career afterwards.

"I didn't want to overdo it and get into bad habits where I wasn't eating enough sometimes due to my anxiety.

"I've been back training with my club again and it's great. Beeston is home to me and always has been. I love it. When I finish playing for them too it will be really overwhelming!

"Hockey has been a huge part of my life. It's like I don't know anything else. It has shaped me hugely. If I didn't have the hockey family I think I'd really struggle to cope.

"My family and friends are amazing, but having that extra help is sometimes what you need."

If you've been affected by issues related to mental health, help and support is available via theBBC Action Line.