Gareth in Grimsby, I'm letting you have the last word (of note!).
I'm off now, but stay on the BBC cricket page for plenty more reaction. Until the one-day series, goodbye!
'Average England'
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Gareth in Grimsby: The fact we have one of the best openers, Cook, one of the best batsman, Root, and the best swing bowler, Anderson, in the world and yet we still can't win consistently shows just how average the rest of this England team are.
'Seamers were an example to the rest'
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Bayliss on England's bowlers: "We had high hopes for the spinners we've got. All players have bad games and they'd be the first to admit that. We served up a lot of full tosses, half-volleys and long hops. But the batting order we came up against was able to put that pressure on them.
"Anderson and Broad were the leaders of the attack - they were fantastic. I'd lump Wood and Stokes in there too. It was an example to the rest of the players - the effort and intensity that you've got to have for every ball."
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Francis Edwards: Why is Stokes being praised? Failed with the bat, average with the ball! Hope he gets better soon but he's been poor.
'There are still spots up for grabs'
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
More from England coach Trevor Bayliss on Sky Sports: "There are still two or three spots in the team.
"It didn't pan out how we or Mo hoped at the top of the order. But it is a message to the rest of the openers in county cricket: there are spots up for grabs. We want to see players, especially at the top of the order, scoring a lot of runs."
On Ian Bell: "If you look at this series in isolation, he's probably our third best performer. He has got a lot of experience - and we need experience around the middle order. But that doesn't get away from the fact that players need to be scoring runs. He's very much looking forward to playing on."
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Javed Hason: Is Misbah statistically Pakistan's most successful Test captain?
I believe he is, Javed - he has won more Tests (20) than any other Pakistan captain.
'We had a chance of winning all three Tests'
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
England coach Trevor Bayliss on Sky Sports: "Today we went out without our own individual plans. We were a little rushed and things happened very quickly.
"We competed in all three games; we had a chance of winning all three. Maybe a bit of inexperience and lack of concentration, and a few missed chances, cost us in the end.
"Once the disappointing of this series subsides, there's a lot of positives to be taken out of this tour. From a batting point of view, Cook and Root showed their class. Everyone else in the order proved they can play in these conditions at one time - but we've got to do that on a more consistent basis. If they learn from it, it's only going to be of benefit to them."
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Mohammed Raza: I reckon Zafar Ansari could have been a real threat in this tour, unlucky that he was injured. And he opened for Surrey too!
Post update
Want to catch up on the day's happenings? Stephan Shemilt is your man, and his match report is available in all its glory here.
Just a quick heads-up that commentary of Andy Murray v David Goffin in the third round of the Paris Masters is live now on BBC Radio 5 live sports extra.
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Mike in Liverpool: The negatives are all too obvious and well documented but the continuing emergence of Mark Wood and Ben Stokes, plus the enduring brilliance of Alistair Cook shouldn't be overlooked. Not all doom and gloom.
More from Alastair Cook: "Ian Bell has had a tough tour. When you get in, you have to go big. He'll be disappointed. He's worked hard and been good around the lads. He just hasn't delivered what he would have liked.
"The batting is a concern, there's no doubt about that. I always refer back to when we were number one in the world, we had a solid batting line-up.
"This side is different, there are new guys coming in and finding their feet. We have to keep backing the guys and they have to realise how good you have to be to be a consistent player."
Final scorecard
Pakistan won by 127 runs - won series 2-0
Pakistan first innings 234: Misbah 71; Anderson 4-17
England first innings 306: Taylor 74; Malik 4-33
Pakistan second innings 355: Hafeez 151; Broad 3-44
England second innings 156: Cook 63; Yasir 4-44, Malik 3-26
John Davies: Get Simon Kerrigan back in. One Test match, although a bad one, and then ignored.
On the Test rankings
More from Cook: "The rankings don't lie in one sense, but it's close between the teams that are second to fifth. There's a lot of sides in the same state as us.
"We're not setting the world alight consistently. If we're sixth, we're sixth and we have to get better."
BBCCopyright: BBC
From the press box
Listen again
'I felt sorry for the seamers'
More from Alastair Cook: "When we won in India, we had Swanny and Monty bowling incredibly well. We knew we had inexperienced spinners out here, hence why we played four seamers.
"Pakistan played Mo and Rash incredibly well. They probably didn't settle throughout the series.
"Our seamers were outstanding. I felt a bit sorry for them because we were always turning to them.
"We win together and we lose together. It's disappointing in that we've been really competitive, but when it came to the crunch we couldn't knock them over."
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I'm with Alastair Cook - there are positives to be taken.
England have got plenty of decent young cricketers in their ranks - Ben Stokes, James Taylor and Mark Wood in particular. They need to find a spinner before next winter though or we'll be discussing the same issues after defeats against India and, who knows, even Bangladesh.
'We weren't good enough when it mattered'
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More from Alastair Cook: "We've played some good cricket and were resilient for 80% of the time. When the pressure came on the batting twice, we couldn't deal with it. You need to take chances and we just weren't good enough.
"We were really close to doing it on this tour, we just weren't good enough when it really mattered. Pakistan were really resilient, so credit to them. Their batting never really broke apart from that one afternoon at Abu Dhabi."
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Adam Ferjani: I just don't think Carberry is the answer. I do however think Jason Roy is, compact and a better technician than most give him credit for. Reckon it will be a straight shootout between him and Hales in the one-dayers. If they both do well it will be interesting. There is also an opportunity for Morgan. Absolute duffer when it comes to county cricket but put him on the international stage and he is a star.
Captain's view
England captain Alastair Cook, speaking to Sky Sports: "There were runs to be had, we saw that when Adil came in. You needed a bit of luck to survive. The pressure turned a little with a 40-run partnership.
"But when you lose four wickets in 20 minutes and the middle order get blown away, you're not winning the game."
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Ryan Alexander: England need to persist with the younger players. So much chopping and changing, nobody is bedded in and comfortable.
Post update
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For England, Alastair Cook, James Anderson, Stuart Broad and Ben Stokes are among those flying home to make way for the limited-overs boys. That one-day squad is: Eoin Morgan (capt), Moeen Ali, Jonny Bairstow (wk), Sam Billings (wk), Jos Buttler (wk), Chris Jordan, Alex Hales, Adil Rashid, Joe Root, Jason Roy, James Taylor, Reece Topley, David Willey, Chris Woakes, Mark Wood.
Phil, Chester: England weren't far off in the series. Better team in the first and competed until final day in the other two. In both cases one bad session cost the match. Overall the teams are very much of a similar level (not very good). We missed Finn a lot and need to drop Bell (finally).
Get Involved
I think 'gravy' means very good...
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Mike Bell: Re cricket paying prizes as cheques (09:55). Not a bad thing, as unlike England, at least cheques still take five days to clear.
Post update
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
The two teams will now play four one-day internationals (the first one is on Wednesday) and three T20s. Pakistan have a limited overs tour of New Zealand in the new year, but they won't play another Test until they meet England at Lord's on 14 July.
Will Misbah retire?
Pakistan captain Misbah-ul-Haq: "I've got some time; we don't play another series for seven or eight months. It's good for me to go and think whether I want to continue or not. Let's see."
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Colin Allcars, Newport: That was poor. But the batsmen will recover. However the one thing this series has shown is that Rashid (and Moeen and Samit) are just not good enough. Simples. Sorry Michael Vaughan, but that's the brutal truth. Moeen will survive as he can bat and there's no-one else. But when a decent spinner comes along (sorry, I should say if) he won't last either.
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Guy in Oxford: I see no embarrassment in our performance. Could easily have won the first Test and have battled well even though we have no good spinner. We lost every toss of the coin too.
Captain's view
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Pakistan captain Misbah-ul-Haq: "Credit should go to the England team - they put up a good fight.
"The boys did very well - especially Yasir Shah with the way he bowled; he won us two games. If you look at the whole series, there is a contribution from every person - that's a pleasing sign for a captain and the team."
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TheRamblingMan: How can Pakistan be second in the world when they get thrashed every time they play outside the Middle East & Asia?
From the press box
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England batting coach Mark Ramprakash on Twitter: "Not sure i've felt much worse, seriously gutted. Players have worked so hard, don't feel the result shows their efforts. Congrats to Waqar & his team. Tough cricket in tough conditions. Congrats to Alastair Cook on an excellent series with the bat. Led the team tirelessly & a great example to everyone.
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Fenners: Is cricket the only sport still to pay prizes as cheques? Time to join the modern age! "we've wired $500 to your account!"
Captain's view
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England captain Alastair Cook: "It's a hard place to come and play. We competed really well for a lot of the three games but at critical moments in each game, we couldn't take our chances.
"We're lucky to have Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson but they were incredibly backed up by Mark Wood and Ben Stokes. Losing Ben in this game hurt us. Pakistan have struggled to score against our seamers in this series, so it would have been nice to have the option of Stokes in the second innings.
"The games have hinged on small margins and we've not been good enough to take advantage of the small margins."
Man of the match
Man of the match Mohammad Hafeez, who made 151 in the second innings: "It's a great, great win. Credit goes to everyone. This series means a lot for Pakistan.
"My natural way to play is to attack the ball - and that really worked for me in this innings. It worked for the team so that's the most pleasant thing. It's great to contribute as a batsman."
Post update
James Anderson is named England's player of the series. Pakistan's main man is Yasir Shah.
There's so many awards being dished out, I can barely keep up.
Everyone's a winner.
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Ilyas Najib: Trevor Bayliss, David Gower, Mark Ramprakash, Bob Willis, Ian Botham, David Cameron your boys took one hell of a beating.
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Angus, Newcastle: The worst performance of the series must go to Cook and his calls at the toss, huge disadvantage to lose all three...
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Right, I'm fairly certain that man of the match has gone to Mohammad Hafeez. He pipped Shoaib Malik, who was merely player of the match.
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A number of awards are being dished out - including an award for the 'most colourful innings of the match'. Pakistan skipper Misbah picks up a cheque of $500 for that particular one.
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What We Learnt Today: If Misbah plays until 41, Ian Bell has another 8 years in him #10000club.
"Misbah has been a fantastic leader for them. I know how difficult it is to captain Pakistan. He is quiet and firm, very quiet - he reminds me a bit of Andrew Strauss as a captain. And he's got game plans as a batsman. He fancies the spinners - he blocks a few, takes the odd single and then smashes it."
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Thomas Leonard: Fantastic performance with the bat by Cook, but that can't excuse the rest of the team, we have the batsmen to get that total.
In other news...
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Some breaking news from the world of women's cricket... Sussex left-arm spinner Holly Colvin has officially announced her retirement from international cricket.
The 26-year-old, who took an indefinite break from all cricket following England's successful Women's Ashes campaign in 2013, has been appointed as the new Women's cricket senior officer at the International Cricket Council (ICC) and will be moving to Dubai to take up the position towards the end of November.
Australia dominate New Zealand
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A shocker of a day for England, but a belter for Australia, who amassed 389-2 to start the Test series against New Zealand in Brisbane.
David Warner hit a brilliant 163, Usman Khawaja an unbeaten 102 - his maiden Test century - Joe Burns 71 and captain Steve Smith 41 not out at the Gabba.
Never before have Australia scored so many runs on the first day of a Test at the Gabba, beating the 364-2 they made against England in 2002.
"We don't have an opening partner, number three is going downhill, there's still a question mark against number five and number six, we're still waiting for the wicketkeeper, and the spinners aren't winning matches. Other than that, we're a good team."
"What I've seen today I've seen over the last two and a half years. England have had 18 collapses in 25 Tests and it blows you away. This is why we lose Test matches - this is why we're topsy-turvy.
"Pressure is the name of the game - it seems to get to England and affect their decision-making. When one wicket goes down, there's panic - and people make bad decisions. That is when you find out the quality of any player - when he is put under pressure."
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Misbah had another amazing series as skipper. He made 352 runs at an average of 58.66 and England's spinners are still having nightmares about the torture he dished out to them: dot, dot, dot, SIX and so on.
His captaincy was, once again, superb. Right down to Stuart Broad's dismissal half an hour ago, he was placing fielders where catches were soon to go. A Pakistan cricketing great.
From the press box
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Chris in Fareham: There are no new kids on the block who have the technique & temperament to partner Cook, so the South African series should see a recall for someone he's had previously. Carberry's stats against a rampant Australian side in 2013/14 should be compared to the recent efforts by Lyth, Moeen & others, and he surely deserves a recall in a time of desperate need.
"Cook played splendidly. He has a game plan - he knows what he's doing. The only thing that was different today was that he sauntered down the pitch a few times."
"England will be disappointed - you could tell from Alastair Cook's body language as he walked off. But they can take a lot from this. They are a good team - they drop to sixth in the world and Pakistan are second but that's not a fair reflection."
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Abdul: England are lucky Pakistan aren't actually playing at 'home' or it would've been even more embarrassing.
England's batting averages
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While we await the presentations, let me run through some of the end of series stats. Starting with the batsmen:
"England lost 3-0 the last time they were in the UAE, so there has been some improvement - even if it doesn't feel like that.
"But it's the same old things. We know Anderson and Broad will bowl well, but we know that. Cook and Root will play well, but we know that. The middle order, the spinner and the opener still need to be sorted. And you just fear for those collapses that England keep producing."
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Robin Daniel: Appalling stuff from England today. Only bright spots this series have been Cook's resilience and Jimmy's consistency.
"An enthralling series. It will be a very different set of circumstance in South Africa - and England will give a better account of themselves there."
Post update
As Saqlain alludes to below, Pakistan are now rated the second best Test team in the world. As for England, they drop down to sixth ahead of their next Test against South Africa. That clash start on Boxing Day.
And things won't get any easier - the Proteas are ranked number one in the world.
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Just joining us and wondering why there's no live cricket? It's because England made a horlicks of things this morning.
Resuming on 46-2, they were 59-6 before the milk man had finished his day's work.
England had no chance from there on, despite Alastair Cook's brave 63 off 164 balls.
"It has been like a game of chess. Misbah has played the long game and he has come out on top against England. You just felt like England have run out of steam."
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Alex Dover: What's annoying about this defeat is that we needed one big knock in either of the innings and we would have won easily.
"Another fabulous knock by Alastair Cook. He couldn't have given any more - he couldn't have played any better. He will be satisfied with his own performance but a few of his mates have let him down."
WICKET
Cook st Sarfraz b Malik 63 (Eng 150-9)
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
There seems little hope of England lasting until the first brew break of Britain's working day now.
Alastair Cook, rather unAlastair Cook-like, walks down the pitch to the spinner and is deceived by Shoaib Malik. Wicketkeeper Sarfraz Ahmed does the rest.
Eng 150-8 (target 284)
Malcolm Marshall once famously batted with a broken arm for the West Indies. Ben Stokes doesn't seem to have broken anything but he's clearly in pain and it makes this little cameo all the more remarkable - his score is swelled by three through mid-wicket.
"England's effort has been outstanding all trip. It is simply against spin that their batsmen have struggled, and their spinners haven't been able to exert any control."
Eng 145-8 (Cook 62 off 162 balls)
Alastair Cook, in the words of Beautiful South, carries on regardless. Yasir Shah pitches one up and the left-hander plays a reverse sweep to the boundary. Gorgeous shot.
Things more likely than an England win
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Sri Gutta: Full stadium for any Test match?
Eng 141-8 (Stokes: 78 runs & 5 wickets in series)
Ben Stokes is clearly in pain. First he punches a full ball from Wahab back at the bowler, then pulls a short ball straight to a fielder. After both shots, the left-hander winced in pain. Brave lad.
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Gareth in Stockport: I absolutely cannot believe that given the current crisis with England openers that no one is mentioning Michael Carberry's name to open the batting. Yes we trialled him in the 2013/14 Ashes series where Mitchell Johnson was bowling at 95mph around batsman's noses. Carberry averaged 28 in that series - more than messers Bell, Root, Broad, Prior, Bairstow, Trott and even Alastair Cook.
Eng 140-8 (Cook 57, Stokes 2)
Ben Stokes is off the mark straight away, angling the spinner for two from the first ball he faces.
Eng 138-8
Here comes Ben Stokes.
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Sean Ranson: Pretty ignominious end to the series, but one positive is just how brilliant Captain Cook has been. Imperious at times.
"Is it going to be the pool or the beach this afternoon for us? That's the only issue I have. I'm thinking beach."
Eng 138-7 (target 284)
Stuart Broad is willing to take on the quick stuff, pulling Wahab over mid-on for two. The bowler responds with a bouncer which the batsman takes evasive action from. A decent little battle.
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Aussie Fawlty: It is too simplistic to just blame the spinners. If England had taken the chances the spinners gave them yesterday they would have won this Test.
Eng 133-7 (Cook 56, Broad 17)
For those wondering, Ben Stokes is padded up and ready to bat if needed. Or should that be, 'when needed'?
Stokes is nails. He's proved that in this Test. I broke my collarbone once - going out to bat was the last thing on my mind. Four singles from the over.
Eng 129-7 (Wahab, eight wickets in the series)
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Wahab has got to be in with a shout of man of the series. He's been rapid at times and devastated England in that second Test with a match-winning spell on the third morning. He is steaming in this afternoon, like a man desperate to get on the golf course.
He beats Alastair Cook's outside edge, then the skipper edges four through the slips. A luckless over from the left-arm quick.
Eng 124-7 (Cook 50, Broad 14)
Second ball after lunch is short and fast and Stuart Broad tries to pull it. He misses and after the keeper collects the ball, there's a loud appeal.
Not out... the ball came off the batsman's sweatband. Good decision. Impressive umpiring from Bruce Oxenford.
Eng 124-7 (target 284)
Wahab gets us under way after lunch and Stuart Broad begins by edging through second slip for four.
Hey, think positive... England are four runs better off than 60 seconds ago.
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Right then... are we starting a sweep on what time England fold to defeat?
From the press box
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The Test series between India and South Africa kicked off today - you can find a preview here - and the hosts have started badly. After winning the toss and batting first in Mohali, India are 162-7 - Murali Vijay top scoring with 75. Part-time spinner Dean Elgar has taken 4-20.
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Michael Watts: Surely rather than fill three squad places with average/poor spinners, why not take extra seam bowlers? Jimmy and Broady have lead the way this year, we looked painfully light without Stokes - use Root as an occasional spinner. It simply isn't fashionable for kids to bowl spin nowadays.
Stephen Brenkley of the Independent: "It can't be a coincidence that England's two best spinners of the last 10 years - Graeme Swann and Monty Panesar - were brought up at Northampton. It's the best pitch for spinners in the country."
The Sun's John Etheridge: "The emptiest cupboard in English cricket is the spin cupboard. The English schedule doesn't help - maybe the answer is to get our spinners playing more cricket abroad."
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Robert Hyams: Someone bottle up Alistair Cook's mental strength and divvy it up between the England cricket, football and rugby team please.
The Sun's John Etheridge: "England have been competitive, more competitive than they were three years ago. There are things to be pleased about, but the deciding factor has been England's inability to bowl top-class spin."
As ever on the final day of a Test match, TMS have assembled their journalists' panel. The Sun's John Etheridge, Stephen Brenkley of the Independent and Cricinfo's Andrew McGlashan are in conversation with Simon Mann.
"Pakistan's spinners have out-spun England. This game was lost yesterday."
Lunch report
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
England are facing defeat in the third Test against Pakistan and a 2-0 series loss after their batting crumbled on the final morning in Sharjah.
Spinners Yasir Shah and Zulfiqar Babar used the conditions to run through the middle-order and highlight the inferiority of England's slow bowlers.
Joe Root was helpless to a Yasir grubber in the second over and Jonny Bairstow played an ugly sweep to the same bowler. James Taylor was caught at slip and Samit Patel was trapped lbw, both by Babar.
England lost 4-11 on the final morning, a total collapse of 6-25, to leave them 120-7.
Only Alastair Cook, with an unbeaten 50, survived, with a little resistance from Adil Rashid, who was bowled for 22 by Rahat Ali just before lunch.
Lunch scorecard
APCopyright: AP
England 120-7 (53 overs) - target 284
Batsmen: Cook 50*, Broad 10*
Fall of wickets: 34-1 (Moeen 22), 34-2 (Bell 0), 48-3 (Root 6), 57-4 Taylor 2), 58-5 (Bairstow 0), 59-6 (Patel 0), 108-7 (Rashid 22)
Bowling figures: Rahat 5-1-23-1, Riaz 2-0-10-0, Babar 18-5-31-2, Malik 14-4-21-2, Yasir 14-2-28-2
Alastair Cook averages 109 in this series, having faced more than 900 deliveries. He's been a colossus for England. He pats back the final over before lunch for a maiden.
England troop off for some lunch. A mixture of humble pie and collapso soup. Yuk.
Eng 120-7 (Cook 50, Broad 10)
Rahat Ali is hit for four by Stuart Broad, who follows it up with a brace of twos into the cover region. Good over for England.
50 for Alastair Cook (off 142 balls)
Eng 112-7
When the Apocalypse comes, I imagine Alastair Cook will still be out there batting - ready to face the next ball and wondering where everyone else has gone. He brings up his 46th Test half-century with a single down to backward square.
"The total of eight runs managed between England's number three to number seven is their joint-lowest, equalling the Sydney Test against Australia in 1887."
Eng 111-7 (target 284)
Stuart Broad is off the mark with a sweep for two. A nice shot off Shoaib Malik, who has 10 wickets in the series. Only James Anderson has more for England. Malik's supposed to be a part-timer.
"Stuart Broad is playing in his 87th Test, all of them with Alastair Cook, but this is the first time they have batted together. Sanath Jayasuriya and Muttiah Muralitharan played 90 Tests together for Sri Lanka without ever batting together."
Eng 109-7 (Cook 49, Broad 0)
OK... Andrew Samson has just delivered a worldy of a stat over on TMS.
"It was a great delivery, a perfect length to draw the drive. It started outside off stump and just swung back. That wicket could just be the end of England's effort. All Pakistan have done is get it in decent areas. It's what England couldn't do, especially with the spinners."
WICKET
Rashid b Rahat 22 (Eng 108-7)
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They say it's the hope that kills you.
Just when things looked to be going well for England, Rahat Ali delivers the perfect inswinger which rearranges Adil Rashid's timbers. Only a matter of time now - unless Alastair Cook turns into AB de Villiers.
Eng 107-6 (target 284)
Four byes boost England's score a little, Shoaib Malik temporarily losing his line and sending down a delivery which a leg slip would struggle to stop. Adil Rashid continues to look good, driving two through the covers. They can't, surely, engineer a winning position from here?
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Dashals: At the Gabba. Went for beer run checked Eng V Pak score while in line. Hilarious.
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JoElle: "I feel so much better about this England collapse knowing Australia are 389-2," said nobody ever.
Australia dominate New Zealand
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Good news for England fans - at least David Warner is in form...
The opener hit 163 as Australia racked up 389-2 after winning the toss on the opening day of the first Test against New Zealand in Brisbane.
Left-handed Warner hit 19 fours and a six in his 224-ball innings, sharing an opening stand of 161 with Joe Burns, who made 71.
Usman Khawaja ended the day on 102 - his maiden Test century - while captain Steve Smith is unbeaten on 41.
Mohammad Rizwan has just fetched some drinks out for the Pakistan fielders. For those who don't know, Rizwan is a cheeky chappie. He celebrated Mohammad Hafeez's second innings reprieve via a review by mocking the England fielders. He's a cheeky little scamp, but it was one of the highlights of the Test for me. There's not enough cheekiness in cricket. Maiden over for Rahat Ali.
"You thought this pitch had a little three- or four-wicket cluster in it, it was just which team copped it."
Eng 100-6 (target 284)
What's worse than being an England cricket fan this morning? Supporting Arsenal too?
On the same subject, imagine if Arsene Wenger was a cricket umpire. He'd be terrible.
Maiden over from Shoaib.
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Tattz: Cook Test best 294, Rashid Test best 61, Broad Test best 169, Jimmy Test best 81. What's the problem?
Eng 100-6 (Yasir 14-2-28-2)
If Adil Rashid can become a little less frenetic when he starts an innings, he could become a genuine all-rounder for England. He's showing excellent judgement against the leg-spinner, in particular, as he takes two into the leg side which takes his team to 100.
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Richard Baker: Meanwhile Ballance sits at home with his Test average of nearly 50...
Eng 98-6 (target 284)
Alastair Cook is giving a few chances here - another leading edge flying into the air and towards cover but dropping safely to the turf. Surely it won't be long before Pakistan crank up Wahab Riaz?
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Peter: Re Harry O'Haye (07.19). Be fair, our spinners did let it bounce. Some deliveries many times.
Eng 96-6 (Cook 45, Rashid 17)
Adil Rashid seems to start all of his innings rather frenetically before gradually becoming more composed. He clips another two into the leg side. This match is just bobbing along a little here.
Things more likely than an England collapse
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Ian D, Dubai: Jose Mourinho praising the referee!
Eng 94-6 (target 284)
Heart in mouth stuff as Alastair Cook top-edges a sweep shot towards Zulfiqar Babar but the ball drops short. Two from the over.
I wonder what Pietersen is up to...
Former England batsman Kevin Pietersen: Holy smokes, first few steps out bed were interesting. I think my hamstrings are still at the ground! 🙈 #muchpaining.
With impeccable timing, Pietersen smashed an unbeaten 115 off 66 balls on Wednesday to help the Dolphins beat the Lions by one run in South Africa's Ram Slam T20 competition.
Eng 92-6 (Cook 43, Rashid 14)
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Is Alastair Cook still thinking about winning this? I suppose it's his job to do so - he chips another single from the target. Only another 192 more to go.
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Harry O'Haye: Isn't it amazing what the ball does when the spinners let the ball bounce?
Eng 91-6 (target 284)
Television cameras pan around the ground and there's plenty of glum-looking England supporters. I'll be honest... I genuinely thought they might make a fist of this today.
There must be some Pakistan fans following us? Your boys are looking a decent Test outfit these days. They will rise to second in the Test rankings behind South Africa, England's next opponents, once they seal victory here.
England? They'll drop to sixth.
Things more likely than an England win
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Joe Marshall: Leeds Utd keeping a manager for more than 10 games!
Eng 90-6 (Cook 42, Rashid 14)
It's only when you see Yasir Shah side on that you appreciate the amount of energy which goes into his bowling action. If you did a freeze-frame, you'd think he might be a medium pacer. That, combined with fizzing fingers, makes him a frightening proposition for batsmen. Just two from the over when Adil Rashid turns the ball square.
Scorecard update
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England 88-6 (39 overs) - target 284
Batsmen: Cook 42*, Rashid 12*
Fall of wickets: 34-1 (Moeen 22), 34-2 (Bell 0), 48-3 (Root 6), 57-4 Taylor 2), 58-5 (Bairstow 0), 59-6 (Patel 0)
Bowling figures: Rahat 2-0-13-0, Riaz 2-0-10-0, Babar 17-4-31-2, Malik 8-3-10-2, Yasir 10-2-21-2
"The pressure of day-five cricket got to some of the batsmen. But it's looking as good as gold for Pakistan."
Eng 86-6 (Cook 41 off 110)
The only saving grace during such collapses? The wonderful dark humour employed by you good people on social media. If you don't laugh, you'll cry and all that.
Another nice shot from the skipper as he sits back in his crease - he's almost sat on the top of the bails - and cuts two off Yasir Shah.
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Zak Seridarian: On the positive side, we won't have to suffer all day thinking will they/won't they.
Eng 81-6 (target 284)
Zulfiqar Babar gets one to spit at Alastair Cook and the skipper pushes a single into the leg side. He's got to think selfishly now - a nice half-century and a red-inker to boot. Boost those stats a little bit.
Adil Rashid hasn't thrown in the towel, mind, as he clouts slow left-armer Babar for four through the off side.
Things more likely than an England win
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Henry Shah: Is it time to bring out the things more likely than an England batting collapse hashtag?
Go on then, Henry...
Eng 74-6 (Yasir 9-2-16-2)
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Alastair Cook is hit in front. Big appeal from Yasir Shah, but the ball looked to be going down leg and over the top.
A good shout, apart from that. One from the over, Alastair Cook hitting the ball into the ground and through short mid-wicket.
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Adam Davies: Don't worry. We bat really deep. Or so we keep being told!
Eng 73-6 (target 284)
Where was that shot when he was in the ODI team? Alastair Cook dances down the track and lofts Zulfiqar Babar over long-on for four. Glorious.
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Ian Benson: Broad and Anderson must be desolate watching their efforts go up in smoke.
Angus Oliver: 4 wickets in 31 balls? Time to watch some Ashes 2005 highlights.
"That's 18 collapses in 25 Tests for England. I keep saying, 'You can't win Test matches unless you bat'. You bat yourselves to get in good conditions, then the bowlers win Test matches."
Eng 68-6 (Cook 28 off 93)
Adil Rashid doesn't look as safe as he did in the last Test, when he almost led England to a draw, as he prods, pokes and sticks his front pad out. All methods of dismissal appear in play.
Just don't handle the ball, Adil.
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Mark Scott: Breathe in..."OUT!"...Breathe in..."OUT!"...Breathe in..."OUT!"...
"England have managed to make the pitch look like a minefield. For four days people have got in, played with application and made some good runs. Then all of a sudden the Pakistan bowlers look like world beaters."
Eng 68-6 (Babar 15-4-19-2)
England cricket chief Andrew Strauss sits behind a glass window, sun glasses perched on his head and a look of disbelief etched across his face. If you're going to fold like this, don't do it at the Test match when the boss turns up, lads.
By the way, we've looked up the phone number of the England middle order (06200) and if you rang it, there's a good chance you'd get through to somebody in Hungary. Please don't ring it.
'I think he might explode'
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Stephen Fenn: England's batting line-up simply melting away like a peach melba sitting out in the baking summer sun.
"If there has been an opportunity for batsmen playing county cricket to play for England, this is as good a time as ever. There are two glaring holes - at number two and number three. And they're not sure with numbers five and six either."
Eng 66-6 (Cook 27, Rashid 5)
Remember when England were 34-0 and we were considering a famous victory?
Alastair Cook can - he's watched this from the non-striker's end. Even in his worst nightmares, he won't have imagined this collapse.
The skipper continues to battle, as is his wont, and he turns a single past a sprawling leg slip. Four from the over.
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Stuart Crocker: Anderson: "Batsman need to pull their fingers out." Next Day: Batsmen promptly lose 4 wkts in 31 balls. Bravo chaps, bravo...
Steve Trow: The pack of cards England batting plan is back.
Arthur Goddard: Definitely should've stayed in bed.
Eng 62-6 (target 284)
Remember, England are effectively 62-7 because Ben Stokes is going to struggle to bat with his collarbone injury. In fact, he might not even come out if England still need 200 to win. What would be the point?
Babar sends down a maiden to Alastair Cook. A moment of calm in a frenetic morning.
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Ed Salinger: Can England outlast the bacon that's just gone under the grill?
"The way they were going down like skittles, I was worried I wouldn't get on at half past 10."
Eng 62-6 (Cook 26, Rashid 2)
The scores of England's last five batsmen resemble a phone number: 06200.
The type of number you'd text for a customer service survey. On a scale of 0-5*, how would you rate this England batting collapse?
* 0 being 517-1 at the Gabba and 5 being Adelaide 2006.
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Robbie: I woke up at 6 to get a coach to Edinburgh, hoping to be able to listen to a glorious England fightback for most of the journey, but at this rate it's going to be over before we even leave!
"It has just beaten him for pace and he was trapped on the crease. Patel's foot movement wasn't great. That one might have had a chance of slipping down the leg side - he might be a bit unfortunate there."
WICKET
Patel lbw Babar 0 (Eng 59-6)
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There are no words.
Another one goes, this time Samit Patel is hit in front for a golden duck.
Next batsman, please.
Eng 58-5
I've not had my Crunchy Nut yet and England have lost three wickets. Samit Patel joins Alastair Cook - if these two pull this off from here they'll be spoken of in the same breath as Mike Atherton and Jack Russell. Albeit that was to save a Test.
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Andrew in South Africa: Started watching this morning thinking if we get through to lunch with just two down and another 70 or 80 runs added we'll have a fighting chance. Silly me, what was I thinking? We're chasing 100 too many here.
"What are we doing this afternoon? If was a fair-enough shot, but it got that lovely bit on in-drift. It's a great start for Pakistan and the writing is on the wall for England."
WICKET
Bairstow lbw Yasir 0 (Eng 58-5)
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I've not seen many worse reviews than that. It was plumber than plumb as Jonny Bairstow missed a sweep.
Bairstow was desperate, England are desperate. They've now lost 3-10 off 27 balls.
Start making plans for the day which don't include cricket. This isn't going to last long.
Jonny Bairstow gets down low to try and sweep Yasir Shah but misses the ball and is pinned in front. Out!
Jonny reviews. Seems like a waste of time to me, though.
Eng 57-4
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Don't worry, everyone... there's only another 85 overs left in the day. And Adil Rashid hasn't reached the crease yet - he's always good for soaking up 45 of them.
"It's a good ball from the spinner, pitching on off stump and turning to take the edge. That is why our spinners will be kicking themselves, all you have to do and hit some areas."
"That's Zulfiqar Babar's 50th Test wicket - 19 of them have come in the fourth innings."
WICKET
Taylor c Younus b Babar 2 (Eng 57-4)
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Oh no! England fans will have invested a lot of hope and expectation in James Taylor after that first-innings knock, but he can't do anything about a sumptuous delivery from Zulfiqar Babar which teases the batsman, takes the outside edge and flies to a sunhat-wearing Younus Khan at first slip.
"England's chances of winning? About 10%, which makes it so absorbing to watch. A Pakistan win is about 85% and there's a 5% chance of draw."
Eng 57-3 (target 284)
They all count - Alastair Cook edging behind and the ball drops between the keeper's legs and runs away for three. The runs go down in the scorebook as byes, but I'm fairly certain Cook edged that one.
"They shouldn't be chasing 280, they should be chasing 180."
Eng 54-3 (Cook 23, Taylor 2)
Is it Alastair Cook's stubbornness that continually sees him trying to turn the leggie past the leg slip which is in place to pounce on any mistake? Again, he almost perishes with that type of shot... but he recovers his poise to ease a couple through the off side with a nice drive. At least he's being positive.
"Joe Root's average against spin in Tests has dipped below 100 - it now stands at 96.4. That was only the 12th time he has been out to a spinner in 35 Tests."
Eng 51-3 (target 284)
Big, big appeal from Zulfiqar Babar when he hits Alastair Cook in front. Not out! Not even close really...
What has James Taylor got? He begins in typical style, sweeping Babar for two. He's already busy on his feet to the slow bowlers - he'll be on Strictly in 10 years after he's hit 6,000 Test runs for England.
"You can't do anything about that. The old daisy-cutter. It's short, it hasn't bounced more than six inches and hit him on the boot, right in front of all three. There's nothing worse as a batsman. Crucial wicket."
WICKET
Root lbw Yasir 6 (Eng 48-3)
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The 6am alarm has gone off and you've hardly had time to hit snooze and already England have lost a wicket.
Yasir Shah gets a leg-break to keep low and the ball smashes into Joe Root's pads. The right-hander is stuck in his crease and the finger goes up.
He thinks about a review, but is told to go and grab a shower by his skipper at the other end. That was plumb.
Over to you, James Taylor.
Eng 48-2 (target 284)
Despite the presence of a leg slip - which has accounted for him already in this series - Alastair Cook begins with a sweep down to fine leg which brings two. Just 236 to go.
"Just play it like a one-day game: 230-odd runs in 50 overs - go and knock them off. It's not a mountain to climb."
Post update
Here come England, then. Over to you, skipper.
The first over of the day will be sent down by Zulfiqar.
Post update
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I'm with Ed there. England have played some excellent cricket on this tour - and it would be fitting if James Anderson or Stuart Broad saw England over the line later. Those boys have shown they can be a real force in these conditions.
"If there's any justice in sport, most people feel that 1-1 would be a fairer result than 2-0."
Coach's view
Pakistan coach Waqar Younis, speaking to Sky Sports: "It all comes down to this day. It's good for cricket - we're all loving it. The pressure is on and it's fairly even. Our spinners have been outstanding and that's why we are confident. It's going to be a tough day but we have to be confident. Let's wait and see who wins."
"At the end of the day it's only 238 you've got to knock off - it's not a lot of runs. Joe Root is the man for me - and little James Taylor. England have got to look to go after the bowling, not just survive."
'Pull your fingers out, lads'
James Anderson might be needed to see England over the line later (you never know), and he says England will be going all out to complete a famous victory today: "We'd happily lose 2-0 trying to chase the total.
"We know it is going to turn and they have got some world-class spinners, so we are going to have to bat very well."
"We have got some world-class batsman in our line-up. They are going to have to pull their fingers out and bat really well."
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So, there's your pitch report from Tuffers and Ed - now let me know what you think is going to happen today. Get involved in the usual way - #bbccricket on Twitter, send a text to 81111 or email tms@bbc.co.uk.
"I think someone has been out there and filled in the cracks because it hasn't worsened. I've been to the ground every morning and got it wrong, so... I reckon Pakistan will win by lunchtime."
So, here are the scores on the doors as we enter the decisive fifth day of the final Test. Win, and England will draw the series. Lose, and it's 2-0 to Pakistan.
Post update
There's a reason why teams don't often score more than 200 to win a Test match on the final day. It's damn right tough.
And it's even tougher in this neck of the woods - England are playing on a raging turner against the world's best leg-spinner and a couple of other tweakers who are more than capable of mopping up on the fifth day.
England need to bat sensibly, use their heads and hope Lady Luck is on their side today.
Post update
I know what some of you are thinking - it's only 238 runs.
However, right now those 238 runs seem further away from England than a KP return.
OK, not that far... but you know what I mean.
Morning
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Just 238 more runs and we'll talk about the heroics of Sharjah 2015 for ever more.
I ain't going to go all Bonnie Tyler on you... but it's fair to say that now is a time for heroes, England.
Alastair, Joe, James, Jonny & Samit, your country expects (or should that be 'hopes'?).
Live Reporting
Marc Higginson
All times stated are UK
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ReutersCopyright: Reuters - Anderson 13 wickets at an average of 15.61
- Moeen 9 at 48.66
- Rashid 8 at 69.50
- Broad 7 at 27.28
- Wood 6 at 28.33
- Stokes 5 at 39.60
- Patel 3 at 54.66
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Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images - Cook 450 runs at an average of 90
- Root 287 at 57.40
- Bell 158 at 31.60
- Bairstow 134 at 22.33
- Rashid 103 at 20.60
- Broad 95 at 47.50
- Stokes 88 at 14.66
- Moeen 84 at 14.00
- Taylor 78 at 39.00
- Patel 42 at 21.00
- Wood 34 at 11.33
- Buttler 34 at 8.50
- Anderson 14 at 7.00
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Latest PostPost update
Gareth in Grimsby, I'm letting you have the last word (of note!).
I'm off now, but stay on the BBC cricket page for plenty more reaction. Until the one-day series, goodbye!
'Average England'
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Gareth in Grimsby: The fact we have one of the best openers, Cook, one of the best batsman, Root, and the best swing bowler, Anderson, in the world and yet we still can't win consistently shows just how average the rest of this England team are.
'Seamers were an example to the rest'
Bayliss on England's bowlers: "We had high hopes for the spinners we've got. All players have bad games and they'd be the first to admit that. We served up a lot of full tosses, half-volleys and long hops. But the batting order we came up against was able to put that pressure on them.
"Anderson and Broad were the leaders of the attack - they were fantastic. I'd lump Wood and Stokes in there too. It was an example to the rest of the players - the effort and intensity that you've got to have for every ball."
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Francis Edwards: Why is Stokes being praised? Failed with the bat, average with the ball! Hope he gets better soon but he's been poor.
'There are still spots up for grabs'
More from England coach Trevor Bayliss on Sky Sports: "There are still two or three spots in the team.
"It didn't pan out how we or Mo hoped at the top of the order. But it is a message to the rest of the openers in county cricket: there are spots up for grabs. We want to see players, especially at the top of the order, scoring a lot of runs."
On Ian Bell: "If you look at this series in isolation, he's probably our third best performer. He has got a lot of experience - and we need experience around the middle order. But that doesn't get away from the fact that players need to be scoring runs. He's very much looking forward to playing on."
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Javed Hason: Is Misbah statistically Pakistan's most successful Test captain?
I believe he is, Javed - he has won more Tests (20) than any other Pakistan captain.
'We had a chance of winning all three Tests'
England coach Trevor Bayliss on Sky Sports: "Today we went out without our own individual plans. We were a little rushed and things happened very quickly.
"We competed in all three games; we had a chance of winning all three. Maybe a bit of inexperience and lack of concentration, and a few missed chances, cost us in the end.
"Once the disappointing of this series subsides, there's a lot of positives to be taken out of this tour. From a batting point of view, Cook and Root showed their class. Everyone else in the order proved they can play in these conditions at one time - but we've got to do that on a more consistent basis. If they learn from it, it's only going to be of benefit to them."
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Mohammed Raza: I reckon Zafar Ansari could have been a real threat in this tour, unlucky that he was injured. And he opened for Surrey too!
Post update
Want to catch up on the day's happenings? Stephan Shemilt is your man, and his match report is available in all its glory here.
Post update
BBC Radio 5 live sports extra
Just a quick heads-up that commentary of Andy Murray v David Goffin in the third round of the Paris Masters is live now on BBC Radio 5 live sports extra.
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Mike in Liverpool: The negatives are all too obvious and well documented but the continuing emergence of Mark Wood and Ben Stokes, plus the enduring brilliance of Alistair Cook shouldn't be overlooked. Not all doom and gloom.
The story of the series
First Test: Drawn
Second Test: Pakistan won by 178 runs
Third Test: Pakistan won by 127 runs
Pakistan won series 2-0
'Get in and go big'
More from Alastair Cook: "Ian Bell has had a tough tour. When you get in, you have to go big. He'll be disappointed. He's worked hard and been good around the lads. He just hasn't delivered what he would have liked.
"The batting is a concern, there's no doubt about that. I always refer back to when we were number one in the world, we had a solid batting line-up.
"This side is different, there are new guys coming in and finding their feet. We have to keep backing the guys and they have to realise how good you have to be to be a consistent player."
Final scorecard
Pakistan won by 127 runs - won series 2-0
Pakistan first innings 234: Misbah 71; Anderson 4-17
England first innings 306: Taylor 74; Malik 4-33
Pakistan second innings 355: Hafeez 151; Broad 3-44
England second innings 156: Cook 63; Yasir 4-44, Malik 3-26
Pakistan won toss
Full scorecard
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John Davies: Get Simon Kerrigan back in. One Test match, although a bad one, and then ignored.
On the Test rankings
More from Cook: "The rankings don't lie in one sense, but it's close between the teams that are second to fifth. There's a lot of sides in the same state as us.
"We're not setting the world alight consistently. If we're sixth, we're sixth and we have to get better."
From the press box
Listen again
'I felt sorry for the seamers'
More from Alastair Cook: "When we won in India, we had Swanny and Monty bowling incredibly well. We knew we had inexperienced spinners out here, hence why we played four seamers.
"Pakistan played Mo and Rash incredibly well. They probably didn't settle throughout the series.
"Our seamers were outstanding. I felt a bit sorry for them because we were always turning to them.
"We win together and we lose together. It's disappointing in that we've been really competitive, but when it came to the crunch we couldn't knock them over."
Post update
I'm with Alastair Cook - there are positives to be taken.
England have got plenty of decent young cricketers in their ranks - Ben Stokes, James Taylor and Mark Wood in particular. They need to find a spinner before next winter though or we'll be discussing the same issues after defeats against India and, who knows, even Bangladesh.
'We weren't good enough when it mattered'
More from Alastair Cook: "We've played some good cricket and were resilient for 80% of the time. When the pressure came on the batting twice, we couldn't deal with it. You need to take chances and we just weren't good enough.
"We were really close to doing it on this tour, we just weren't good enough when it really mattered. Pakistan were really resilient, so credit to them. Their batting never really broke apart from that one afternoon at Abu Dhabi."
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Adam Ferjani: I just don't think Carberry is the answer. I do however think Jason Roy is, compact and a better technician than most give him credit for. Reckon it will be a straight shootout between him and Hales in the one-dayers. If they both do well it will be interesting. There is also an opportunity for Morgan. Absolute duffer when it comes to county cricket but put him on the international stage and he is a star.
Captain's view
England captain Alastair Cook, speaking to Sky Sports: "There were runs to be had, we saw that when Adil came in. You needed a bit of luck to survive. The pressure turned a little with a 40-run partnership.
"But when you lose four wickets in 20 minutes and the middle order get blown away, you're not winning the game."
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Ryan Alexander: England need to persist with the younger players. So much chopping and changing, nobody is bedded in and comfortable.
Post update
For England, Alastair Cook, James Anderson, Stuart Broad and Ben Stokes are among those flying home to make way for the limited-overs boys. That one-day squad is: Eoin Morgan (capt), Moeen Ali, Jonny Bairstow (wk), Sam Billings (wk), Jos Buttler (wk), Chris Jordan, Alex Hales, Adil Rashid, Joe Root, Jason Roy, James Taylor, Reece Topley, David Willey, Chris Woakes, Mark Wood.
The full tour schedule is here.
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Phil, Chester: England weren't far off in the series. Better team in the first and competed until final day in the other two. In both cases one bad session cost the match. Overall the teams are very much of a similar level (not very good). We missed Finn a lot and need to drop Bell (finally).
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I think 'gravy' means very good...
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Mike Bell: Re cricket paying prizes as cheques (09:55). Not a bad thing, as unlike England, at least cheques still take five days to clear.
Post update
The two teams will now play four one-day internationals (the first one is on Wednesday) and three T20s. Pakistan have a limited overs tour of New Zealand in the new year, but they won't play another Test until they meet England at Lord's on 14 July.
Will Misbah retire?
Pakistan captain Misbah-ul-Haq: "I've got some time; we don't play another series for seven or eight months. It's good for me to go and think whether I want to continue or not. Let's see."
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Colin Allcars, Newport: That was poor. But the batsmen will recover. However the one thing this series has shown is that Rashid (and Moeen and Samit) are just not good enough. Simples. Sorry Michael Vaughan, but that's the brutal truth. Moeen will survive as he can bat and there's no-one else. But when a decent spinner comes along (sorry, I should say if) he won't last either.
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Guy in Oxford: I see no embarrassment in our performance. Could easily have won the first Test and have battled well even though we have no good spinner. We lost every toss of the coin too.
Captain's view
Pakistan captain Misbah-ul-Haq: "Credit should go to the England team - they put up a good fight.
"The boys did very well - especially Yasir Shah with the way he bowled; he won us two games. If you look at the whole series, there is a contribution from every person - that's a pleasing sign for a captain and the team."
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TheRamblingMan: How can Pakistan be second in the world when they get thrashed every time they play outside the Middle East & Asia?
From the press box
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England batting coach Mark Ramprakash on Twitter: "Not sure i've felt much worse, seriously gutted. Players have worked so hard, don't feel the result shows their efforts. Congrats to Waqar & his team. Tough cricket in tough conditions. Congrats to Alastair Cook on an excellent series with the bat. Led the team tirelessly & a great example to everyone.
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Fenners: Is cricket the only sport still to pay prizes as cheques? Time to join the modern age! "we've wired $500 to your account!"
Captain's view
England captain Alastair Cook: "It's a hard place to come and play. We competed really well for a lot of the three games but at critical moments in each game, we couldn't take our chances.
"We're lucky to have Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson but they were incredibly backed up by Mark Wood and Ben Stokes. Losing Ben in this game hurt us. Pakistan have struggled to score against our seamers in this series, so it would have been nice to have the option of Stokes in the second innings.
"The games have hinged on small margins and we've not been good enough to take advantage of the small margins."
Man of the match
Man of the match Mohammad Hafeez, who made 151 in the second innings: "It's a great, great win. Credit goes to everyone. This series means a lot for Pakistan.
"My natural way to play is to attack the ball - and that really worked for me in this innings. It worked for the team so that's the most pleasant thing. It's great to contribute as a batsman."
Post update
James Anderson is named England's player of the series. Pakistan's main man is Yasir Shah.
There's so many awards being dished out, I can barely keep up.
Everyone's a winner.
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Ilyas Najib: Trevor Bayliss, David Gower, Mark Ramprakash, Bob Willis, Ian Botham, David Cameron your boys took one hell of a beating.
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Angus, Newcastle: The worst performance of the series must go to Cook and his calls at the toss, huge disadvantage to lose all three...
Post update
Right, I'm fairly certain that man of the match has gone to Mohammad Hafeez. He pipped Shoaib Malik, who was merely player of the match.
Post update
A number of awards are being dished out - including an award for the 'most colourful innings of the match'. Pakistan skipper Misbah picks up a cheque of $500 for that particular one.
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What We Learnt Today: If Misbah plays until 41, Ian Bell has another 8 years in him #10000club.
Will Misbah retire?
Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Misbah has been a fantastic leader for them. I know how difficult it is to captain Pakistan. He is quiet and firm, very quiet - he reminds me a bit of Andrew Strauss as a captain. And he's got game plans as a batsman. He fancies the spinners - he blocks a few, takes the odd single and then smashes it."
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Thomas Leonard: Fantastic performance with the bat by Cook, but that can't excuse the rest of the team, we have the batsmen to get that total.
In other news...
Some breaking news from the world of women's cricket... Sussex left-arm spinner Holly Colvin has officially announced her retirement from international cricket.
The 26-year-old, who took an indefinite break from all cricket following England's successful Women's Ashes campaign in 2013, has been appointed as the new Women's cricket senior officer at the International Cricket Council (ICC) and will be moving to Dubai to take up the position towards the end of November.
Australia dominate New Zealand
A shocker of a day for England, but a belter for Australia, who amassed 389-2 to start the Test series against New Zealand in Brisbane.
David Warner hit a brilliant 163, Usman Khawaja an unbeaten 102 - his maiden Test century - Joe Burns 71 and captain Steve Smith 41 not out at the Gabba.
Never before have Australia scored so many runs on the first day of a Test at the Gabba, beating the 364-2 they made against England in 2002.
Read more here
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"We don't have an opening partner, number three is going downhill, there's still a question mark against number five and number six, we're still waiting for the wicketkeeper, and the spinners aren't winning matches. Other than that, we're a good team."
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Roland Out: Embarrassing.
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"What I've seen today I've seen over the last two and a half years. England have had 18 collapses in 25 Tests and it blows you away. This is why we lose Test matches - this is why we're topsy-turvy.
"Pressure is the name of the game - it seems to get to England and affect their decision-making. When one wicket goes down, there's panic - and people make bad decisions. That is when you find out the quality of any player - when he is put under pressure."
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Misbah had another amazing series as skipper. He made 352 runs at an average of 58.66 and England's spinners are still having nightmares about the torture he dished out to them: dot, dot, dot, SIX and so on.
His captaincy was, once again, superb. Right down to Stuart Broad's dismissal half an hour ago, he was placing fielders where catches were soon to go. A Pakistan cricketing great.
From the press box
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Chris in Fareham: There are no new kids on the block who have the technique & temperament to partner Cook, so the South African series should see a recall for someone he's had previously. Carberry's stats against a rampant Australian side in 2013/14 should be compared to the recent efforts by Lyth, Moeen & others, and he surely deserves a recall in a time of desperate need.
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Cook played splendidly. He has a game plan - he knows what he's doing. The only thing that was different today was that he sauntered down the pitch a few times."
England's bowling averages
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"England will be disappointed - you could tell from Alastair Cook's body language as he walked off. But they can take a lot from this. They are a good team - they drop to sixth in the world and Pakistan are second but that's not a fair reflection."
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Abdul: England are lucky Pakistan aren't actually playing at 'home' or it would've been even more embarrassing.
England's batting averages
While we await the presentations, let me run through some of the end of series stats. Starting with the batsmen:
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"England lost 3-0 the last time they were in the UAE, so there has been some improvement - even if it doesn't feel like that.
"But it's the same old things. We know Anderson and Broad will bowl well, but we know that. Cook and Root will play well, but we know that. The middle order, the spinner and the opener still need to be sorted. And you just fear for those collapses that England keep producing."
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Robin Daniel: Appalling stuff from England today. Only bright spots this series have been Cook's resilience and Jimmy's consistency.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"An enthralling series. It will be a very different set of circumstance in South Africa - and England will give a better account of themselves there."
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As Saqlain alludes to below, Pakistan are now rated the second best Test team in the world. As for England, they drop down to sixth ahead of their next Test against South Africa. That clash start on Boxing Day.
And things won't get any easier - the Proteas are ranked number one in the world.
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Just joining us and wondering why there's no live cricket? It's because England made a horlicks of things this morning.
Resuming on 46-2, they were 59-6 before the milk man had finished his day's work.
England had no chance from there on, despite Alastair Cook's brave 63 off 164 balls.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"It has been like a game of chess. Misbah has played the long game and he has come out on top against England. You just felt like England have run out of steam."
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Alex Dover: What's annoying about this defeat is that we needed one big knock in either of the innings and we would have won easily.
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Ed Smith
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Hugs all round for Misbah. He's the first man off the field - what a servant for Pakistani cricket he has been."
Pakistan win by 127 runs, and take the series 2-0
So, that's that.
Pakistan complete a deserved victory and England traipse off beaten and bowed.
WICKET
Stokes st Sarfraz b Yasir 12 (Eng 156 all out)
Stitched up like a kipper.
Yasir Shah gets one to turn sharply down leg, Sarfraz Ahmed reads it and whips off the bails with Ben Stokes halfway down the track.
How's stat?!
Andrew Samson
BBC Test Match Special statistician
"Alastair Cook scored 450 runs in the series, the most by an England player against Pakistan - beating David Gower's 449 in 1984."
Eng 154-9
Those painkillers must be kicking in now as Ben Stokes gets on one knee and clobbers Yasir Shah for four over mid-wicket.
Eng 150-9 (Malik 15-4-26-3)
James Anderson joins Ben Stokes for England's last stand. Only another 134 needed, lads.
How's stat?!
Andrew Samson
BBC Test Match Special statistician
"That is only the third time Alastair Cook has been stumped in his Test career."
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Ed Smith
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"He deserved to carry his bat. The England fans are standing to applaud him - and so are the Pakistan fans."
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"Another fabulous knock by Alastair Cook. He couldn't have given any more - he couldn't have played any better. He will be satisfied with his own performance but a few of his mates have let him down."
WICKET
Cook st Sarfraz b Malik 63 (Eng 150-9)
There seems little hope of England lasting until the first brew break of Britain's working day now.
Alastair Cook, rather unAlastair Cook-like, walks down the pitch to the spinner and is deceived by Shoaib Malik. Wicketkeeper Sarfraz Ahmed does the rest.
Eng 150-8 (target 284)
Malcolm Marshall once famously batted with a broken arm for the West Indies. Ben Stokes doesn't seem to have broken anything but he's clearly in pain and it makes this little cameo all the more remarkable - his score is swelled by three through mid-wicket.
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Ed Smith
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"England's effort has been outstanding all trip. It is simply against spin that their batsmen have struggled, and their spinners haven't been able to exert any control."
Eng 145-8 (Cook 62 off 162 balls)
Alastair Cook, in the words of Beautiful South, carries on regardless. Yasir Shah pitches one up and the left-hander plays a reverse sweep to the boundary. Gorgeous shot.
Things more likely than an England win
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Sri Gutta: Full stadium for any Test match?
Eng 141-8 (Stokes: 78 runs & 5 wickets in series)
Ben Stokes is clearly in pain. First he punches a full ball from Wahab back at the bowler, then pulls a short ball straight to a fielder. After both shots, the left-hander winced in pain. Brave lad.
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Gareth in Stockport: I absolutely cannot believe that given the current crisis with England openers that no one is mentioning Michael Carberry's name to open the batting. Yes we trialled him in the 2013/14 Ashes series where Mitchell Johnson was bowling at 95mph around batsman's noses. Carberry averaged 28 in that series - more than messers Bell, Root, Broad, Prior, Bairstow, Trott and even Alastair Cook.
Eng 140-8 (Cook 57, Stokes 2)
Ben Stokes is off the mark straight away, angling the spinner for two from the first ball he faces.
Eng 138-8
Here comes Ben Stokes.
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Sean Ranson: Pretty ignominious end to the series, but one positive is just how brilliant Captain Cook has been. Imperious at times.
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Ramiz Raja
Ex-Pakistan captain on BBC Test Match Special
"He's not a natural sweeper of the ball, so it's a soft dismissal."
WICKET
Broad c Malik b Yasir 20 (Eng 138-8)
Stuart Broad had one plan. And one plan only.
He kept playing the sweep shot to Yasir Shah and eventually paid with his wicket - an awful lofted catch flying to square leg.
Eng 138-7 (Cook 57, Broad 20)
A yelp of pain from Azhar Ali at short leg when Stuart Broad pins him with a sweep shot. He saved one though. Every cloud...
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"Is it going to be the pool or the beach this afternoon for us? That's the only issue I have. I'm thinking beach."
Eng 138-7 (target 284)
Stuart Broad is willing to take on the quick stuff, pulling Wahab over mid-on for two. The bowler responds with a bouncer which the batsman takes evasive action from. A decent little battle.
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Aussie Fawlty: It is too simplistic to just blame the spinners. If England had taken the chances the spinners gave them yesterday they would have won this Test.
Eng 133-7 (Cook 56, Broad 17)
For those wondering, Ben Stokes is padded up and ready to bat if needed. Or should that be, 'when needed'?
Stokes is nails. He's proved that in this Test. I broke my collarbone once - going out to bat was the last thing on my mind. Four singles from the over.
Eng 129-7 (Wahab, eight wickets in the series)
Wahab has got to be in with a shout of man of the series. He's been rapid at times and devastated England in that second Test with a match-winning spell on the third morning. He is steaming in this afternoon, like a man desperate to get on the golf course.
He beats Alastair Cook's outside edge, then the skipper edges four through the slips. A luckless over from the left-arm quick.
Eng 124-7 (Cook 50, Broad 14)
Second ball after lunch is short and fast and Stuart Broad tries to pull it. He misses and after the keeper collects the ball, there's a loud appeal.
Not out... the ball came off the batsman's sweatband. Good decision. Impressive umpiring from Bruce Oxenford.
Eng 124-7 (target 284)
Wahab gets us under way after lunch and Stuart Broad begins by edging through second slip for four.
Hey, think positive... England are four runs better off than 60 seconds ago.
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Right then... are we starting a sweep on what time England fold to defeat?
From the press box
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The Test series between India and South Africa kicked off today - you can find a preview here - and the hosts have started badly. After winning the toss and batting first in Mohali, India are 162-7 - Murali Vijay top scoring with 75. Part-time spinner Dean Elgar has taken 4-20.
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Michael Watts: Surely rather than fill three squad places with average/poor spinners, why not take extra seam bowlers? Jimmy and Broady have lead the way this year, we looked painfully light without Stokes - use Root as an occasional spinner. It simply isn't fashionable for kids to bowl spin nowadays.
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
Stephen Brenkley of the Independent: "It can't be a coincidence that England's two best spinners of the last 10 years - Graeme Swann and Monty Panesar - were brought up at Northampton. It's the best pitch for spinners in the country."
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
The Sun's John Etheridge: "The emptiest cupboard in English cricket is the spin cupboard. The English schedule doesn't help - maybe the answer is to get our spinners playing more cricket abroad."
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Robert Hyams: Someone bottle up Alistair Cook's mental strength and divvy it up between the England cricket, football and rugby team please.
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
Stephen Brenkley of the Independent: "Top-class spin would have been superb. Even adequate spin might have won England this Test match."
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
The Sun's John Etheridge: "England have been competitive, more competitive than they were three years ago. There are things to be pleased about, but the deciding factor has been England's inability to bowl top-class spin."
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
As ever on the final day of a Test match, TMS have assembled their journalists' panel. The Sun's John Etheridge, Stephen Brenkley of the Independent and Cricinfo's Andrew McGlashan are in conversation with Simon Mann.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"Pakistan's spinners have out-spun England. This game was lost yesterday."
Lunch report
England are facing defeat in the third Test against Pakistan and a 2-0 series loss after their batting crumbled on the final morning in Sharjah.
Spinners Yasir Shah and Zulfiqar Babar used the conditions to run through the middle-order and highlight the inferiority of England's slow bowlers.
Joe Root was helpless to a Yasir grubber in the second over and Jonny Bairstow played an ugly sweep to the same bowler. James Taylor was caught at slip and Samit Patel was trapped lbw, both by Babar.
England lost 4-11 on the final morning, a total collapse of 6-25, to leave them 120-7.
Only Alastair Cook, with an unbeaten 50, survived, with a little resistance from Adil Rashid, who was bowled for 22 by Rahat Ali just before lunch.
Lunch scorecard
England 120-7 (53 overs) - target 284
Batsmen: Cook 50*, Broad 10*
Fall of wickets: 34-1 (Moeen 22), 34-2 (Bell 0), 48-3 (Root 6), 57-4 Taylor 2), 58-5 (Bairstow 0), 59-6 (Patel 0), 108-7 (Rashid 22)
Bowling figures: Rahat 5-1-23-1, Riaz 2-0-10-0, Babar 18-5-31-2, Malik 14-4-21-2, Yasir 14-2-28-2
Pakistan 234 (Misbah 71; Anderson 4-17) & 355 (Hafeez 151, Broad 3-44)
England 306 (Taylor 74; Malik 4-33)
Pakistan won toss
Full scorecard
Lunch
Eng 120-7
Alastair Cook averages 109 in this series, having faced more than 900 deliveries. He's been a colossus for England. He pats back the final over before lunch for a maiden.
England troop off for some lunch. A mixture of humble pie and collapso soup. Yuk.
Eng 120-7 (Cook 50, Broad 10)
Rahat Ali is hit for four by Stuart Broad, who follows it up with a brace of twos into the cover region. Good over for England.
50 for Alastair Cook (off 142 balls)
Eng 112-7
When the Apocalypse comes, I imagine Alastair Cook will still be out there batting - ready to face the next ball and wondering where everyone else has gone. He brings up his 46th Test half-century with a single down to backward square.
How's stat?!
Andrew Samson
BBC Test Match Special statistician
"The total of eight runs managed between England's number three to number seven is their joint-lowest, equalling the Sydney Test against Australia in 1887."
Eng 111-7 (target 284)
Stuart Broad is off the mark with a sweep for two. A nice shot off Shoaib Malik, who has 10 wickets in the series. Only James Anderson has more for England. Malik's supposed to be a part-timer.
How's stat?!
Andrew Samson
BBC Test Match Special statistician
"Stuart Broad is playing in his 87th Test, all of them with Alastair Cook, but this is the first time they have batted together. Sanath Jayasuriya and Muttiah Muralitharan played 90 Tests together for Sri Lanka without ever batting together."
Eng 109-7 (Cook 49, Broad 0)
OK... Andrew Samson has just delivered a worldy of a stat over on TMS.
Drum roll, please...
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"It was a great delivery, a perfect length to draw the drive. It started outside off stump and just swung back. That wicket could just be the end of England's effort. All Pakistan have done is get it in decent areas. It's what England couldn't do, especially with the spinners."
WICKET
Rashid b Rahat 22 (Eng 108-7)
They say it's the hope that kills you.
Just when things looked to be going well for England, Rahat Ali delivers the perfect inswinger which rearranges Adil Rashid's timbers. Only a matter of time now - unless Alastair Cook turns into AB de Villiers.
Eng 107-6 (target 284)
Four byes boost England's score a little, Shoaib Malik temporarily losing his line and sending down a delivery which a leg slip would struggle to stop. Adil Rashid continues to look good, driving two through the covers. They can't, surely, engineer a winning position from here?
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Dashals: At the Gabba. Went for beer run checked Eng V Pak score while in line. Hilarious.
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JoElle: "I feel so much better about this England collapse knowing Australia are 389-2," said nobody ever.
Australia dominate New Zealand
Good news for England fans - at least David Warner is in form...
The opener hit 163 as Australia racked up 389-2 after winning the toss on the opening day of the first Test against New Zealand in Brisbane.
Left-handed Warner hit 19 fours and a six in his 224-ball innings, sharing an opening stand of 161 with Joe Burns, who made 71.
Usman Khawaja ended the day on 102 - his maiden Test century - while captain Steve Smith is unbeaten on 41.
Australia, it's fair to say, are on top.
Click here for full scorecard
Eng 100-6 (48 overs)
Mohammad Rizwan has just fetched some drinks out for the Pakistan fielders. For those who don't know, Rizwan is a cheeky chappie. He celebrated Mohammad Hafeez's second innings reprieve via a review by mocking the England fielders. He's a cheeky little scamp, but it was one of the highlights of the Test for me. There's not enough cheekiness in cricket. Maiden over for Rahat Ali.
Things more likely than an England win
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Jack Mendel: Ian Bell being dropped?
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"You thought this pitch had a little three- or four-wicket cluster in it, it was just which team copped it."
Eng 100-6 (target 284)
What's worse than being an England cricket fan this morning? Supporting Arsenal too?
On the same subject, imagine if Arsene Wenger was a cricket umpire. He'd be terrible.
Maiden over from Shoaib.
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Tattz: Cook Test best 294, Rashid Test best 61, Broad Test best 169, Jimmy Test best 81. What's the problem?
Eng 100-6 (Yasir 14-2-28-2)
If Adil Rashid can become a little less frenetic when he starts an innings, he could become a genuine all-rounder for England. He's showing excellent judgement against the leg-spinner, in particular, as he takes two into the leg side which takes his team to 100.
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Richard Baker: Meanwhile Ballance sits at home with his Test average of nearly 50...
Eng 98-6 (target 284)
Alastair Cook is giving a few chances here - another leading edge flying into the air and towards cover but dropping safely to the turf. Surely it won't be long before Pakistan crank up Wahab Riaz?
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Peter: Re Harry O'Haye (07.19). Be fair, our spinners did let it bounce. Some deliveries many times.
Eng 96-6 (Cook 45, Rashid 17)
Adil Rashid seems to start all of his innings rather frenetically before gradually becoming more composed. He clips another two into the leg side. This match is just bobbing along a little here.
Things more likely than an England collapse
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Ian D, Dubai: Jose Mourinho praising the referee!
Eng 94-6 (target 284)
Heart in mouth stuff as Alastair Cook top-edges a sweep shot towards Zulfiqar Babar but the ball drops short. Two from the over.
I wonder what Pietersen is up to...
Former England batsman Kevin Pietersen: Holy smokes, first few steps out bed were interesting. I think my hamstrings are still at the ground! 🙈 #muchpaining.
With impeccable timing, Pietersen smashed an unbeaten 115 off 66 balls on Wednesday to help the Dolphins beat the Lions by one run in South Africa's Ram Slam T20 competition.
Eng 92-6 (Cook 43, Rashid 14)
Is Alastair Cook still thinking about winning this? I suppose it's his job to do so - he chips another single from the target. Only another 192 more to go.
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Harry O'Haye: Isn't it amazing what the ball does when the spinners let the ball bounce?
Eng 91-6 (target 284)
Television cameras pan around the ground and there's plenty of glum-looking England supporters. I'll be honest... I genuinely thought they might make a fist of this today.
There must be some Pakistan fans following us? Your boys are looking a decent Test outfit these days. They will rise to second in the Test rankings behind South Africa, England's next opponents, once they seal victory here.
England? They'll drop to sixth.
Things more likely than an England win
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Joe Marshall: Leeds Utd keeping a manager for more than 10 games!
Eng 90-6 (Cook 42, Rashid 14)
It's only when you see Yasir Shah side on that you appreciate the amount of energy which goes into his bowling action. If you did a freeze-frame, you'd think he might be a medium pacer. That, combined with fizzing fingers, makes him a frightening proposition for batsmen. Just two from the over when Adil Rashid turns the ball square.
Scorecard update
England 88-6 (39 overs) - target 284
Batsmen: Cook 42*, Rashid 12*
Fall of wickets: 34-1 (Moeen 22), 34-2 (Bell 0), 48-3 (Root 6), 57-4 Taylor 2), 58-5 (Bairstow 0), 59-6 (Patel 0)
Bowling figures: Rahat 2-0-13-0, Riaz 2-0-10-0, Babar 17-4-31-2, Malik 8-3-10-2, Yasir 10-2-21-2
Pakistan 234 (Misbah 71; Anderson 4-17) & 355 (Hafeez 151, Broad 3-44)
England 306 (Taylor 74; Malik 4-33)
Pakistan won toss
Full scorecard
England sliding down the rankings
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Mark Kelly: Looks like pretty bad light out there to me.
Drinks break
Eng 88-6 (target 284)
Time for a bit of Shoaib Malik. Adil Rashid is watchful and waits for his opportunity to flick a single into the leg side.
Alastair Cook takes his time before facing because of some disruption behind the bowler's arm. It's probably just the queue for the England showers.
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Jay: If it has happened 18 times in 25 matches, it's not a collapse. Just business as usual. Need a new definition of collapse for England.
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Ramiz Raja
Ex-Pakistan captain on BBC Test Match Special
"The pressure of day-five cricket got to some of the batsmen. But it's looking as good as gold for Pakistan."
Eng 86-6 (Cook 41 off 110)
The only saving grace during such collapses? The wonderful dark humour employed by you good people on social media. If you don't laugh, you'll cry and all that.
Another nice shot from the skipper as he sits back in his crease - he's almost sat on the top of the bails - and cuts two off Yasir Shah.
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Zak Seridarian: On the positive side, we won't have to suffer all day thinking will they/won't they.
Eng 81-6 (target 284)
Zulfiqar Babar gets one to spit at Alastair Cook and the skipper pushes a single into the leg side. He's got to think selfishly now - a nice half-century and a red-inker to boot. Boost those stats a little bit.
Adil Rashid hasn't thrown in the towel, mind, as he clouts slow left-armer Babar for four through the off side.
Things more likely than an England win
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Henry Shah: Is it time to bring out the things more likely than an England batting collapse hashtag?
Go on then, Henry...
Eng 74-6 (Yasir 9-2-16-2)
Alastair Cook is hit in front. Big appeal from Yasir Shah, but the ball looked to be going down leg and over the top.
A good shout, apart from that. One from the over, Alastair Cook hitting the ball into the ground and through short mid-wicket.
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Adam Davies: Don't worry. We bat really deep. Or so we keep being told!
Eng 73-6 (target 284)
Where was that shot when he was in the ODI team? Alastair Cook dances down the track and lofts Zulfiqar Babar over long-on for four. Glorious.
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Ian Benson: Broad and Anderson must be desolate watching their efforts go up in smoke.
Angus Oliver: 4 wickets in 31 balls? Time to watch some Ashes 2005 highlights.
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"That's 18 collapses in 25 Tests for England. I keep saying, 'You can't win Test matches unless you bat'. You bat yourselves to get in good conditions, then the bowlers win Test matches."
Eng 68-6 (Cook 28 off 93)
Adil Rashid doesn't look as safe as he did in the last Test, when he almost led England to a draw, as he prods, pokes and sticks his front pad out. All methods of dismissal appear in play.
Just don't handle the ball, Adil.
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Mark Scott: Breathe in..."OUT!"...Breathe in..."OUT!"...Breathe in..."OUT!"...
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"England have managed to make the pitch look like a minefield. For four days people have got in, played with application and made some good runs. Then all of a sudden the Pakistan bowlers look like world beaters."
Eng 68-6 (Babar 15-4-19-2)
England cricket chief Andrew Strauss sits behind a glass window, sun glasses perched on his head and a look of disbelief etched across his face. If you're going to fold like this, don't do it at the Test match when the boss turns up, lads.
By the way, we've looked up the phone number of the England middle order (06200) and if you rang it, there's a good chance you'd get through to somebody in Hungary. Please don't ring it.
'I think he might explode'
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Stephen Fenn: England's batting line-up simply melting away like a peach melba sitting out in the baking summer sun.
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"If there has been an opportunity for batsmen playing county cricket to play for England, this is as good a time as ever. There are two glaring holes - at number two and number three. And they're not sure with numbers five and six either."
Eng 66-6 (Cook 27, Rashid 5)
Remember when England were 34-0 and we were considering a famous victory?
Alastair Cook can - he's watched this from the non-striker's end. Even in his worst nightmares, he won't have imagined this collapse.
The skipper continues to battle, as is his wont, and he turns a single past a sprawling leg slip. Four from the over.
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Stuart Crocker: Anderson: "Batsman need to pull their fingers out." Next Day: Batsmen promptly lose 4 wkts in 31 balls. Bravo chaps, bravo...
Steve Trow: The pack of cards England batting plan is back.
Arthur Goddard: Definitely should've stayed in bed.
Eng 62-6 (target 284)
Remember, England are effectively 62-7 because Ben Stokes is going to struggle to bat with his collarbone injury. In fact, he might not even come out if England still need 200 to win. What would be the point?
Babar sends down a maiden to Alastair Cook. A moment of calm in a frenetic morning.
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Ed Salinger: Can England outlast the bacon that's just gone under the grill?
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Geoffrey Boycott
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"The way they were going down like skittles, I was worried I wouldn't get on at half past 10."
Eng 62-6 (Cook 26, Rashid 2)
The scores of England's last five batsmen resemble a phone number: 06200.
The type of number you'd text for a customer service survey. On a scale of 0-5*, how would you rate this England batting collapse?
* 0 being 517-1 at the Gabba and 5 being Adelaide 2006.
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Robbie: I woke up at 6 to get a coach to Edinburgh, hoping to be able to listen to a glorious England fightback for most of the journey, but at this rate it's going to be over before we even leave!
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"It has just beaten him for pace and he was trapped on the crease. Patel's foot movement wasn't great. That one might have had a chance of slipping down the leg side - he might be a bit unfortunate there."
WICKET
Patel lbw Babar 0 (Eng 59-6)
There are no words.
Another one goes, this time Samit Patel is hit in front for a golden duck.
Next batsman, please.
Eng 58-5
I've not had my Crunchy Nut yet and England have lost three wickets. Samit Patel joins Alastair Cook - if these two pull this off from here they'll be spoken of in the same breath as Mike Atherton and Jack Russell. Albeit that was to save a Test.
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Andrew in South Africa: Started watching this morning thinking if we get through to lunch with just two down and another 70 or 80 runs added we'll have a fighting chance. Silly me, what was I thinking? We're chasing 100 too many here.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"What are we doing this afternoon? If was a fair-enough shot, but it got that lovely bit on in-drift. It's a great start for Pakistan and the writing is on the wall for England."
WICKET
Bairstow lbw Yasir 0 (Eng 58-5)
I've not seen many worse reviews than that. It was plumber than plumb as Jonny Bairstow missed a sweep.
Bairstow was desperate, England are desperate. They've now lost 3-10 off 27 balls.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"That's out."
Review
Eng 57-4
Start making plans for the day which don't include cricket. This isn't going to last long.
Jonny Bairstow gets down low to try and sweep Yasir Shah but misses the ball and is pinned in front. Out!
Jonny reviews. Seems like a waste of time to me, though.
Eng 57-4
Don't worry, everyone... there's only another 85 overs left in the day. And Adil Rashid hasn't reached the crease yet - he's always good for soaking up 45 of them.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"It's a good ball from the spinner, pitching on off stump and turning to take the edge. That is why our spinners will be kicking themselves, all you have to do and hit some areas."
How's stat?!
Andrew Samson
BBC Test Match Special statistician
"That's Zulfiqar Babar's 50th Test wicket - 19 of them have come in the fourth innings."
WICKET
Taylor c Younus b Babar 2 (Eng 57-4)
Oh no! England fans will have invested a lot of hope and expectation in James Taylor after that first-innings knock, but he can't do anything about a sumptuous delivery from Zulfiqar Babar which teases the batsman, takes the outside edge and flies to a sunhat-wearing Younus Khan at first slip.
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Ed Smith
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"England's chances of winning? About 10%, which makes it so absorbing to watch. A Pakistan win is about 85% and there's a 5% chance of draw."
Eng 57-3 (target 284)
They all count - Alastair Cook edging behind and the ball drops between the keeper's legs and runs away for three. The runs go down in the scorebook as byes, but I'm fairly certain Cook edged that one.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"They shouldn't be chasing 280, they should be chasing 180."
Eng 54-3 (Cook 23, Taylor 2)
Is it Alastair Cook's stubbornness that continually sees him trying to turn the leggie past the leg slip which is in place to pounce on any mistake? Again, he almost perishes with that type of shot... but he recovers his poise to ease a couple through the off side with a nice drive. At least he's being positive.
How's stat?!
Andrew Samson
BBC Test Match Special statistician
"Joe Root's average against spin in Tests has dipped below 100 - it now stands at 96.4. That was only the 12th time he has been out to a spinner in 35 Tests."
Eng 51-3 (target 284)
Big, big appeal from Zulfiqar Babar when he hits Alastair Cook in front. Not out! Not even close really...
What has James Taylor got? He begins in typical style, sweeping Babar for two. He's already busy on his feet to the slow bowlers - he'll be on Strictly in 10 years after he's hit 6,000 Test runs for England.
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Charles Dagnall
BBC Test Match Special
"I can't remember a huge amount of deliveries keeping as low as that one."
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"You can't do anything about that. The old daisy-cutter. It's short, it hasn't bounced more than six inches and hit him on the boot, right in front of all three. There's nothing worse as a batsman. Crucial wicket."
WICKET
Root lbw Yasir 6 (Eng 48-3)
The 6am alarm has gone off and you've hardly had time to hit snooze and already England have lost a wicket.
Yasir Shah gets a leg-break to keep low and the ball smashes into Joe Root's pads. The right-hander is stuck in his crease and the finger goes up.
He thinks about a review, but is told to go and grab a shower by his skipper at the other end. That was plumb.
Over to you, James Taylor.
Eng 48-2 (target 284)
Despite the presence of a leg slip - which has accounted for him already in this series - Alastair Cook begins with a sweep down to fine leg which brings two. Just 236 to go.
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"Just play it like a one-day game: 230-odd runs in 50 overs - go and knock them off. It's not a mountain to climb."
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Here come England, then. Over to you, skipper.
The first over of the day will be sent down by Zulfiqar.
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I'm with Ed there. England have played some excellent cricket on this tour - and it would be fitting if James Anderson or Stuart Broad saw England over the line later. Those boys have shown they can be a real force in these conditions.
Have a look at these bowling figures for the series, courtesy of Cricinfo.
England's quicks: 339.1-103-762-31
England's spinners: 295.1-23-1202-20
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Ed Smith
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"If there's any justice in sport, most people feel that 1-1 would be a fairer result than 2-0."
Coach's view
Pakistan coach Waqar Younis, speaking to Sky Sports: "It all comes down to this day. It's good for cricket - we're all loving it. The pressure is on and it's fairly even. Our spinners have been outstanding and that's why we are confident. It's going to be a tough day but we have to be confident. Let's wait and see who wins."
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Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"At the end of the day it's only 238 you've got to knock off - it's not a lot of runs. Joe Root is the man for me - and little James Taylor. England have got to look to go after the bowling, not just survive."
'Pull your fingers out, lads'
James Anderson might be needed to see England over the line later (you never know), and he says England will be going all out to complete a famous victory today: "We'd happily lose 2-0 trying to chase the total.
"We know it is going to turn and they have got some world-class spinners, so we are going to have to bat very well."
"We have got some world-class batsman in our line-up. They are going to have to pull their fingers out and bat really well."
Join the debate at #bbccricket
So, there's your pitch report from Tuffers and Ed - now let me know what you think is going to happen today. Get involved in the usual way - #bbccricket on Twitter, send a text to 81111 or email tms@bbc.co.uk.
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Ed Smith
Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"It hasn't deteriorated as much as we expected, which is why England have more hope than normal batting last."
What about the pitch?
Phil Tufnell
Ex-England spinner on BBC Test Match Special
"I think someone has been out there and filled in the cracks because it hasn't worsened. I've been to the ground every morning and got it wrong, so... I reckon Pakistan will win by lunchtime."
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
Just waking up? Lucky you... now why not train your ears to TMS on BBC Radio 5 live sports extra, Radio 4 LW or listen at the top of this page. Enjoy!
Start-of-play scorecard
England 46-2 (22 overs) - target 284
Batsmen: Cook 17*, Root 6*
Fall of wickets: 34-1 (Moeen 22), 34-2 (Bell 0)
Bowling figures: Rahat 2-0-15-0, Riaz 2-0-10-0, Babar 9-2-11-0, Malik 7-3-8-2, Yasir 2-0-4-0
Pakistan 234 & 355: Hafeez 151, Shafiq 46; Broad 3-44
England 306: Taylor 74; Malik 4-33
Pakistan won toss
Full scorecard
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So, here are the scores on the doors as we enter the decisive fifth day of the final Test. Win, and England will draw the series. Lose, and it's 2-0 to Pakistan.
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There's a reason why teams don't often score more than 200 to win a Test match on the final day. It's damn right tough.
And it's even tougher in this neck of the woods - England are playing on a raging turner against the world's best leg-spinner and a couple of other tweakers who are more than capable of mopping up on the fifth day.
England need to bat sensibly, use their heads and hope Lady Luck is on their side today.
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I know what some of you are thinking - it's only 238 runs.
However, right now those 238 runs seem further away from England than a KP return.
OK, not that far... but you know what I mean.
Morning
Just 238 more runs and we'll talk about the heroics of Sharjah 2015 for ever more.
I ain't going to go all Bonnie Tyler on you... but it's fair to say that now is a time for heroes, England.
Alastair, Joe, James, Jonny & Samit, your country expects (or should that be 'hopes'?).