You're too kind Jon. I'm barely even Atomic Kitten.
Now, many of you will probably not remember the last time both Manchester United and Liverpool failed to finish in the top four. I don't. Because I was two. I had different priorities then. Chock-A-Block mainly.
The point I'm making is that it was quite a long time ago. And since then the two teams in red have both had a turn at dominating English football. Those days may be over now but, to the modern fan, the idea of neither of them being among the country's elite quartet is as alien a concept as a Bounty coming with a cardboard tray to maintain bar integrity.
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
Countdown to kick-off
Liverpool v Manchester United (14:05 GMT)
**Two hours until kick-off klaxon**
That's right we're edging closer to the big match of the day (that's Liverpool v Manchester United in case you've just come back from outer space).
I'm just the warm-up act - the Gerry and the Pacemakers to Phil Dawkes' Beatles if you like.
He's going to talk you through all the build-up and team news at Anfield before the action kicks off...
Get Involved - winter football woe
#getinspired
With football-ruining temperatures of below freezing around the country, we're after your tales of winter football woe...
NowJürgonnaBelieveUs: 1982, -10C & PE teacher made us play on boggy frozen swamp. Was in goal, took a shot straight in face & got KO'd.
Jim Leyden: Played for boys' brigade at age 8 -12. Saturday morning away 10.00 am ko. Pitch so frozen and marbled from senior games absolute bog frozen like the surface of the moon and hard as concrete. Opposition coach says 'aw it's alright to play', our coach told him to do one as we couldn't even stand up.
Daniel Lyon: Remember a 7s game quite well, where they handed us shovels when we turned up and we cleared it ourselves.
Craig Ince: I remember 26 years ago i played for my local under 11s football team and it had snowed all week. When we kicked off on the Sunday morning we were basically just kicking snow when trying to kick the ball (also the ball was white). We couldn't see our boots it was that deep and we still played the full game..... think we lost about 11-0 - we weren't very good
HALF-TIME
Valencia 0-1 Rayo Vallecano
Things are not going well for Gary Neville.
His Valencia side are trailing to a first-half volley from Jozabed.
As things stand Neville's long wait for a La Liga win continues...
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
What the managers said
Aston Villa 1-1 Leicester
Leicester manager Claudio Ranieri: "Yes, we lost two points. We started very well and scored a goal but after the missed penalty the Aston Villa players took a new energy.
"If we score a second goal, we close the match. We are very sad but also I say to the players 'if we make the performance the result is not important'.
"It's one point, it's OK, it's a derby - but we are disappointed."
Aston Villa manager Remi Garde: "If you look at the two games we've played we can be pleased about the spirit. These players have the right attitude to try to save the club from relegation. Sometimes it takes time."
Premier League recap
Aston Villa 1-1 Leicester
ReutersCopyright: Reuters
Yesterday's evening encounter was a huge match in the Midlands - with repercussions at both ends of the Premier League table
Leicester City returned to the top of the pile with a draw at rock-bottom Aston Villa.
Shinji Okazaki opened the scoring for the Foxes, but team-mate Riyad Mahrez missed a chance to double the lead after Leicester were awarded a controversial penalty for handball.
Villa striker Rudy Gestede levelled after his second-half shot deflected past keeper Kasper Schmeichel.
Southampton manager Ronald Koeman: "It's important to score early against a side like West Brom, as it gives you the patience to try and score the second. At 1-0, we could be more patient.
"Now we are back playing our own way, how we like to play. Everyone looked very comfortable today - that's the most important thing. The players looked more confident than they have done recently. We totally deserved the win."
West Brom manager Tony Pulis: "You've got to give Southampton credit, they were the better team and deserved to win the game.
"It just wasn't our day. All season we've done well away from home. Today we didn't and got punished."
Premier League recap
Southampton 3-0 West Brom
James Ward-Prowse had only ever scored two goals in a career spanning almost 100 games before yesterday.
But the Southampton midfielder doubled his tally in the space of half an hour as his team cruised to a convincing home win against West Brom.
The England Under-21 international scored a brilliant 25-yard curled free-kick and a penalty before Serbian forward Dusan Tadic sealed the three points from a tight angle.
Ronald Koeman's Southampton move up to 10th in the Premier League table, while the Baggies stay 13th.
We've got two more of yesterday's Premier League games to look back at, starting with Southampton v West Brom....
Le Derby
Think Liverpool v Manchester United is spicy? Well across the Channel is the small matter of a match which has more heat than a vindaloo.
Bragging rights in the Rhône-Alpes region of France are at stake as Lyon travel to St Etienne at 20:00 GMT in Ligue 1.
The two clubs are only 31 miles apart and Lyon have former Manchester United full-back Rafael, who scored against Liverpool in 2012.
This was the scene as the Lyon bus left for the match, things already heating up...
Get Involved - winter football woe
#getinspired
Keith Harris: Managed a Sunday league team years ago it was so cold at one game 2 players had to be subbed with hypothermia and still the ref wouldn't call the game off . Never been so glad to hear the final whistle.
James Mandato: One game the pitch was frozen & we didn't want the game called off, so the whole team got in a line across pitch and ran up & down over it for 45 mins to soften it up, the game went ahead and we beat top of the league 5-1.
Ken Gorry: Remember playing a friendly on a pitch after it had showed and then frozen and it was an ice rink, but we couldn't see the white leather ball, ended borrowing a kids' orange plastic ball to finish the game.. Lost 7-2 .
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
Early team news
Liverpool v Man Utd (14:05 GMT)
The teamsheets won't be scribbled out and handed over the referee for another 90 minutes or so. But here's what we do know...
Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren is nearing a return after a hamstring injury but will not be fit to play at Anfield.
None of the other players on Liverpool's lengthy injury list are close to fitness, with eternally-crocked England striker Daniel Sturridge still sidelined.
The Red Devils will be without Bastian Schweinsteiger with a knee problem, while fellow midfielder Michael Carrick is also injured.
Defender Phil Jones is expected to return soon following his ankle injury.
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
Weather warning
Liverpool v Man Utd (14:05 GMT)
We're just under three hours away from kick-off in today's big match. I'm pleased to report that there does not appear to be much snow around Anfield (according to those on Twitter anyway), but it is lashing it down with rain.
If you are going to the game then make sure you wear at least three layers and double up on the socks.
What the managers said
Newcastle 2-0 West Ham
Newcastle manager Steve McClaren: "They must have gone in at half-time thinking 'wow, get in' because it was only 2-0.
"Jonjo is a very, very good player with real potential and it will suit him playing in this team, a team of footballers."
West Ham boss Slaven Bilic: "They scored two goals very early and it gave them confidence, but from the first minute of the game they were getting to second balls and looked hungrier, sharper, quicker.
"In the second half, we improved a lot. In the end we could have nicked a point when we had a great chance to equalise. But, overall, they deserved to beat us."
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
Flying start for Shelvey
Newcastle 2-0 West Ham
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
£12m for Jonjo Shelvey?! Come on, we all thought it...Swansea might as well have been wearing a Dick Turpin mask when they made Newcastle hand over that amount.
But the sometime England midfielder made an impressive start following his big-money move, helping his new side move out of the relegation zone with a win over West Ham.
Shelvey had a hand in both goals as Ayoze Perez curled in a low shot before Georginio Wijnaldum side-footed in from six yards to make it 2-0.
A stray backpass by Chancel Mbemba let Nikica Jelavic score for the Hammers.
With football-ruining temperatures of below freezing around the country, we're after your tales of winter football woe...
Danny: When I lived in Norway. I once played a game in -19°c temps.... Brrrrr.
Joshieeeeee: Sunday league once it was so windy, and it was hail stoning, that the opposition couldn't handle it and forfeited, nice win!
Andrew Shoults: I have a very unhappy son this morning, he was up for it and wanted to play. I told him that his game was called off, and he said "it's just snow dad! Why can't we just play?!"
Steve Ablett: Played in goal was so foggy thought we lost 3-0 but we had scored 1 and didn't know til full time
Gary Neville likes to be thought of as a man of the people, perhaps that's why his Valencia team are playing on a Sunday morning like the rest of us.
Or perhaps they kicked off at 11:00 GMT so he could get back to his gaff in time for the big match at Anfield...
Neville searches for first La Liga win
Valencia 0-1 Rayo Vallecano
The man on the right used to love days like today...
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
But these days Gary Neville can be found in the far sunnier climes of Valencia.
The former Manchester United right-back is searching for his first La Liga win today against Rayo Vallecano.
And it's not going well. Los Che are 1-0 down after just 15 minutes at the Mestalla.
We will bring you all the goals from the match and you can follow text updates here.
Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images
What the managers said
Man City 4-0 Crystal Palace
Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini: "Was it comfortable? No, because you never know in this game. The first half, the two goals gave us more space as they've had to go for the draw. That allowed us to use that space and score two more."
Crystal Palace manager Alan Pardew on the performance of goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey: "Wayne is going to have to show me this week in training. A mistake at Villa, he needed to respond today and made another mistake.
"The ball is in his court to keep out the other two goalkeepers but I need to see it in training. I need to see a reaction from him."
Live Reporting
Phil Dawkes
All times stated are UK
Get involved
England's elite
Liverpool v Manchester United (14:05 GMT)
You're too kind Jon. I'm barely even Atomic Kitten.
Now, many of you will probably not remember the last time both Manchester United and Liverpool failed to finish in the top four. I don't. Because I was two. I had different priorities then. Chock-A-Block mainly.
The point I'm making is that it was quite a long time ago. And since then the two teams in red have both had a turn at dominating English football. Those days may be over now but, to the modern fan, the idea of neither of them being among the country's elite quartet is as alien a concept as a Bounty coming with a cardboard tray to maintain bar integrity.
Countdown to kick-off
Liverpool v Manchester United (14:05 GMT)
**Two hours until kick-off klaxon**
That's right we're edging closer to the big match of the day (that's Liverpool v Manchester United in case you've just come back from outer space).
I'm just the warm-up act - the Gerry and the Pacemakers to Phil Dawkes' Beatles if you like.
He's going to talk you through all the build-up and team news at Anfield before the action kicks off...
Get Involved - winter football woe
#getinspired
With football-ruining temperatures of below freezing around the country, we're after your tales of winter football woe...
NowJürgonnaBelieveUs: 1982, -10C & PE teacher made us play on boggy frozen swamp. Was in goal, took a shot straight in face & got KO'd.
Jim Leyden: Played for boys' brigade at age 8 -12. Saturday morning away 10.00 am ko. Pitch so frozen and marbled from senior games absolute bog frozen like the surface of the moon and hard as concrete. Opposition coach says 'aw it's alright to play', our coach told him to do one as we couldn't even stand up.
Daniel Lyon: Remember a 7s game quite well, where they handed us shovels when we turned up and we cleared it ourselves.
Craig Ince: I remember 26 years ago i played for my local under 11s football team and it had snowed all week. When we kicked off on the Sunday morning we were basically just kicking snow when trying to kick the ball (also the ball was white). We couldn't see our boots it was that deep and we still played the full game..... think we lost about 11-0 - we weren't very good
HALF-TIME
Valencia 0-1 Rayo Vallecano
Things are not going well for Gary Neville.
His Valencia side are trailing to a first-half volley from Jozabed.
As things stand Neville's long wait for a La Liga win continues...
What the managers said
Aston Villa 1-1 Leicester
Leicester manager Claudio Ranieri: "Yes, we lost two points. We started very well and scored a goal but after the missed penalty the Aston Villa players took a new energy.
"If we score a second goal, we close the match. We are very sad but also I say to the players 'if we make the performance the result is not important'.
"It's one point, it's OK, it's a derby - but we are disappointed."
Aston Villa manager Remi Garde: "If you look at the two games we've played we can be pleased about the spirit. These players have the right attitude to try to save the club from relegation. Sometimes it takes time."
Premier League recap
Aston Villa 1-1 Leicester
Yesterday's evening encounter was a huge match in the Midlands - with repercussions at both ends of the Premier League table
Leicester City returned to the top of the pile with a draw at rock-bottom Aston Villa.
Shinji Okazaki opened the scoring for the Foxes, but team-mate Riyad Mahrez missed a chance to double the lead after Leicester were awarded a controversial penalty for handball.
Villa striker Rudy Gestede levelled after his second-half shot deflected past keeper Kasper Schmeichel.
Read the full match report here.
.
Coming up - MOTD2 Extra
BBC Two & 5 live, 12:15 GMT
MOTD2 Extra
What the managers said
Southampton 3-0 West Brom
Southampton manager Ronald Koeman: "It's important to score early against a side like West Brom, as it gives you the patience to try and score the second. At 1-0, we could be more patient.
"Now we are back playing our own way, how we like to play. Everyone looked very comfortable today - that's the most important thing. The players looked more confident than they have done recently. We totally deserved the win."
West Brom manager Tony Pulis: "You've got to give Southampton credit, they were the better team and deserved to win the game.
"It just wasn't our day. All season we've done well away from home. Today we didn't and got punished."
Premier League recap
Southampton 3-0 West Brom
James Ward-Prowse had only ever scored two goals in a career spanning almost 100 games before yesterday.
But the Southampton midfielder doubled his tally in the space of half an hour as his team cruised to a convincing home win against West Brom.
The England Under-21 international scored a brilliant 25-yard curled free-kick and a penalty before Serbian forward Dusan Tadic sealed the three points from a tight angle.
Ronald Koeman's Southampton move up to 10th in the Premier League table, while the Baggies stay 13th.
Read the full match report
Premier League recap
We've got two more of yesterday's Premier League games to look back at, starting with Southampton v West Brom....
Le Derby
Think Liverpool v Manchester United is spicy? Well across the Channel is the small matter of a match which has more heat than a vindaloo.
Bragging rights in the Rhône-Alpes region of France are at stake as Lyon travel to St Etienne at 20:00 GMT in Ligue 1.
The two clubs are only 31 miles apart and Lyon have former Manchester United full-back Rafael, who scored against Liverpool in 2012.
This was the scene as the Lyon bus left for the match, things already heating up...
Get Involved - winter football woe
#getinspired
Keith Harris: Managed a Sunday league team years ago it was so cold at one game 2 players had to be subbed with hypothermia and still the ref wouldn't call the game off . Never been so glad to hear the final whistle.
James Mandato: One game the pitch was frozen & we didn't want the game called off, so the whole team got in a line across pitch and ran up & down over it for 45 mins to soften it up, the game went ahead and we beat top of the league 5-1.
Ken Gorry: Remember playing a friendly on a pitch after it had showed and then frozen and it was an ice rink, but we couldn't see the white leather ball, ended borrowing a kids' orange plastic ball to finish the game.. Lost 7-2 .
Early team news
Liverpool v Man Utd (14:05 GMT)
The teamsheets won't be scribbled out and handed over the referee for another 90 minutes or so. But here's what we do know...
Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren is nearing a return after a hamstring injury but will not be fit to play at Anfield.
None of the other players on Liverpool's lengthy injury list are close to fitness, with eternally-crocked England striker Daniel Sturridge still sidelined.
The Red Devils will be without Bastian Schweinsteiger with a knee problem, while fellow midfielder Michael Carrick is also injured.
Defender Phil Jones is expected to return soon following his ankle injury.
Weather warning
Liverpool v Man Utd (14:05 GMT)
We're just under three hours away from kick-off in today's big match. I'm pleased to report that there does not appear to be much snow around Anfield (according to those on Twitter anyway), but it is lashing it down with rain.
If you are going to the game then make sure you wear at least three layers and double up on the socks.
What the managers said
Newcastle 2-0 West Ham
Newcastle manager Steve McClaren: "They must have gone in at half-time thinking 'wow, get in' because it was only 2-0.
"Jonjo is a very, very good player with real potential and it will suit him playing in this team, a team of footballers."
West Ham boss Slaven Bilic: "They scored two goals very early and it gave them confidence, but from the first minute of the game they were getting to second balls and looked hungrier, sharper, quicker.
"In the second half, we improved a lot. In the end we could have nicked a point when we had a great chance to equalise. But, overall, they deserved to beat us."
Flying start for Shelvey
Newcastle 2-0 West Ham
£12m for Jonjo Shelvey?! Come on, we all thought it...Swansea might as well have been wearing a Dick Turpin mask when they made Newcastle hand over that amount.
But the sometime England midfielder made an impressive start following his big-money move, helping his new side move out of the relegation zone with a win over West Ham.
Shelvey had a hand in both goals as Ayoze Perez curled in a low shot before Georginio Wijnaldum side-footed in from six yards to make it 2-0.
A stray backpass by Chancel Mbemba let Nikica Jelavic score for the Hammers.
Read the full match report here - and see if Shelvey did enough to bag our man of the match award...
Get Involved - winter football woe
#getinspired
With football-ruining temperatures of below freezing around the country, we're after your tales of winter football woe...
Danny: When I lived in Norway. I once played a game in -19°c temps.... Brrrrr.
Joshieeeeee: Sunday league once it was so windy, and it was hail stoning, that the opposition couldn't handle it and forfeited, nice win!
Andrew Shoults: I have a very unhappy son this morning, he was up for it and wanted to play. I told him that his game was called off, and he said "it's just snow dad! Why can't we just play?!"
Steve Ablett: Played in goal was so foggy thought we lost 3-0 but we had scored 1 and didn't know til full time
Get involved with the debate and tweet us #getinspired or post on the Match of the Day Facebook page.
Early start in Spain
Valencia 0-1 Rayo Vallecano
Gary Neville likes to be thought of as a man of the people, perhaps that's why his Valencia team are playing on a Sunday morning like the rest of us.
Or perhaps they kicked off at 11:00 GMT so he could get back to his gaff in time for the big match at Anfield...
Neville searches for first La Liga win
Valencia 0-1 Rayo Vallecano
The man on the right used to love days like today...
But these days Gary Neville can be found in the far sunnier climes of Valencia.
The former Manchester United right-back is searching for his first La Liga win today against Rayo Vallecano.
And it's not going well. Los Che are 1-0 down after just 15 minutes at the Mestalla.
We will bring you all the goals from the match and you can follow text updates here.
What the managers said
Man City 4-0 Crystal Palace
Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini: "Was it comfortable? No, because you never know in this game. The first half, the two goals gave us more space as they've had to go for the draw. That allowed us to use that space and score two more."
Crystal Palace manager Alan Pardew on the performance of goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey: "Wayne is going to have to show me this week in training. A mistake at Villa, he needed to respond today and made another mistake.
"The ball is in his court to keep out the other two goalkeepers but I need to see it in training. I need to see a reaction from him."