Kayla Harrison: PFL star says fighting gives her the 'opportunity to change the world'
- Published
Harrison is a two-time PFL lightweight champion
Warning: This article contains an account of sexual abuse.
Before Kayla Harrison tells her story, she pauses for a few seconds.
The American is a double Olympic gold medallist in judo, a two-time MMA world champion and one of the highest-earning female fighters in the sport.
But, because of her experiences as a teenager, none of that might ever have happened.
With her thoughts now composed, Harrison explains why.
"When you're being sexually abused, when you're going through whatever the hardship is in your life, it's very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel," she tells BBC Sport.
Harrison was "at rock bottom" and felt suicidal.
"Never mind doing judo," she says. "I didn't want to live any more."
Harrison was abused by her judo coach. After her mother reported it to the police, he was arrested, found guilty and sentenced to 10 years in prison.
Following the conviction, Harrison says time and space - plus being surrounded by friends and family who loved her unconditionally - meant she could start to heal.
Harrison learned to turn those horrific incidents into positive change.
She wrote a book detailing the experiences, with the aim of raising awareness of child sexual abuse, and now uses her status as the biggest star in the Professional Fighters League as a way to promote her message.
"I love fighting, and the challenge of being locked in a cage with someone else - you have to implement your gameplan and have the heart - I love all of that," says the 31-year-old.
"But it's very selfish - I'm not curing cancer here, I'm punching someone in the face.
"Fighting gives me this platform, and this opportunity to change the world. And to get a message from a young girl who says she was raped, she struggles to get out of bed, and that my book gave her hope - that makes it all worth it to me."
"I'll fight a thousand fights if I can change a thousand people's lives."
'I fight because I love'
Unbeaten in 13 professional fights since switching to MMA in 2018, Harrison has become one of the most coveted mixed martial artists in the world.
Before signing a new contract with the PFL earlier this year, she was linked with moves to fellow major MMA promotions the UFC and Bellator, with champions Julianna Pena and Cris Cyborg both calling for fights.
This Friday she aims to continue her bid to become a three-time PFL champion when she takes on Kaitlin Young.
Harrison says a key reason behind her success is the change of mindset following the adoption of her two children in 2020.
She acquired custody of her niece Kyla and nephew Emery when her stepdad, who was looking after the children at the time, died suddenly.
"For a long time, fighting came from a wounded place - a desire to be loved," said Harrison.
"My real dad wasn't part of my life - he was an alcoholic and abusive to my mother - and I think that throughout my life I was so eager to receive love from people, and I found it by being successful, by doing good at judo, by getting straight As, by winning tournaments, by being Olympic champion.
"It wasn't until I got older, and until I had my kids, that I realised you don't have to be perfect to be loved - you can just be yourself.
"Now the drive is different. It's not from a place of needing to be loved - of needing to do this so everyone will love me - it's I do this because I love. I want to help people, I want to make the world better.
"I truly believe everything happens for a reason and those kids saved my life just as much as I'm trying to save theirs."
Harrison says she is happier now than she has ever been.
"I can definitely say this season of my life [is the happiest] - I'm truly blessed," said Harrison.
"Our family has a long history of trauma so being given this opportunity to be a cycle breaker is maybe the best thing I'll ever do in my life.
"I never thought I'd be where I am, making the money I'm making, having these two beautiful, healthy kids and being a difference-maker in their life. We call ourselves the Wolfpack - we do everything together. I have a beautiful life - I'm very lucky."
Returning to the UK will be 'poetic'
Harrison won her first of two Olympic gold medals in judo at London 2012
Harrison is in the midst of her third season in the PFL, where she is a two-time champion in the lightweight division, winning more than $2m in prize money.
She next fights in the main event of PFL 6 against Julia Budd on 1 July in Atlanta, Georgia.
Should Harrison win that bout, she will be in pole position to return to London - the scene of her first Olympic gold medal in 2012 - when the PFL hosts its first event there on 20 August.
"Think about this - 12 August 2012, I won my first fight in London; 20 August 2022, I fight again. It's just poetic, my life is full of these little moments of symmetry," she says.
If you have been affected by issues raised in this article, there is information and support available on BBC Action Line.
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