Sarah Beckett: England and Gloucester-Hartpury back-rower on World Cup 'despair'

Sarah Beckett has won 24 caps for England and featured in every game in their Grand Slam-winning 2019 Six Nations campaign

England and Gloucester-Hartpury back-rower Sarah Beckett has said she went through a "spectrum of emotions" after missing out on selection for this year's World Cup in New Zealand.

The 23-year-old has won 24 England caps but has not been included this autumn.

"I love rugby, that's what I do and it makes me happy when I'm playing," she told the BBC's No Tackle Podcast.

"But at the same time it has made me feel this awful way where I just feel the biggest despair".

After making her England debut in November 2018, Beckett has since featured prominently for the Red Roses and won the Premier 15s with Harlequins in 2020-21 prior to joining Gloucester-Hartpury this year.

On the latest episode of No Tackle, hosts Millie Wood - a former Red Rose, who has similar experiences - and sports journalist Enya Lackie discussed the rollercoaster of emotions that can often remain hidden.

"You go through a whole spectrum of emotions in a little time," Beckett added.

"Obviously it was sadness and then you feel a little bit of anger, and you probably feel a bit of jealousy and whatever else, but then you feel guilty for feeling those emotions."

Beckett spoke of her guilt over being overlooked for selection and the conundrum she had over how to feel should England go on to win the competition.

"If my friends come back and they're World Cup winners it's going to be 'this person World Cup winner' and I'm just going to be Sarah Beckett," she continued.

"It's like 'I'm buzzing you're a World Cup winner but I'm also gutted for myself that I'm not'. It's a tough one."

'I want to prove people wrong'

Sarah Beckett (left) joined Gloucester-Hartpury from Harlequins in the summer

Beckett, who signed for Gloucester-Hartpury in August having had a successful time with Quins, now wants to focus firmly on a push for the championship this season.

Primarily, she wants to show that she is still at the top of her game despite being overlooked by England.

"I want to go and prove people wrong," she added.

"That's a massive driver for me, being able to say 'you got it wrong about me, I can do this'.

"But then at the same time it's tough because if you go back into that environment and you're knowing you're going back to the coaches that didn't see that in you already, it's like 'are they going to see that now?

"If I had been playing badly I'd be able to rationalise it a little bit, but I didn't think I had been playing badly or had done anything wrong."

'Mental wellbeing'

BBC No Tackle podcast hosts Millie Wood (right) and Enya Lackie (left) with Gloucester-Hartpury's Sarah Beckett (centre)

Since the start of the World Cup, Beckett said she took time off social media to help with her mental health.

"I've muted accounts on Instagram and Twitter that I don't want to see," she said.

"When I say this World Cup is everywhere on my social media, it is everywhere - all my friends are there, my best friends from home, my team-mates at Gloucester-Hartpury, my team-mates at Harlequins, my team-mates at England, Scotland, whatever nation, I know people in all nations - it's everywhere."

"For my mental wellbeing it was good to filter out a couple of those so it's not what is in my feed all the time."

Earlier this week, on World Mental Health Day, Premiership Rugby pledged its support "for everyone in the rugby community" to have access to confidential 24/7 support.

A new free-of-charge service is being offered by mental health charity LooseHeadz and Beckett welcomed the move and the emphasis being placed on encouraging people to talk.

"We all struggle as humans at some point in our lives," she said. "Whether that's to do with rugby or outside pressures in life, or whatever else is going on.

"I think it's a great thing it's being brought to the forefront of people's attention so people know they're not alone in their struggles."