John Cooney: I was quite bitter about losing Ireland spot but I've moved on, says Ulster scrum-half

There was a time when John Cooney struggled to reckon with the idea that his days playing for Ireland were behind him.

With three appearances off the bench in the 2020 Six Nations, Cooney appeared to be firmly in Andy Farrell's plans during the early stages of the Englishman's reign.

Then the pandemic happened and Test rugby, like everything else, ground to a halt.

By the time Ireland next took to the pitch, almost eight months later, Leinster's Jamison Gibson-Park had emerged. The Auckland-born scrum-half took Cooney's place on the bench for Ireland's win over Italy.

Cooney has not played for Ireland since.

For a while, Cooney struggled to comprehend why he was out in the cold. Now, though, he says he has come to terms with the extraordinary circumstances that contributed to the demise of his Test career.

"I would be honest and say I was quite bitter for a while," the 33-year-old tells BBC Sport Northern Ireland.

"I always used to compare myself to the other nines and go in to games off stats and performances and think I should be up there.

"But it is what it is. I've really enjoyed it here and I've always fallen back on representing Ulster, playing the best rugby that I can do.

"I feel like when I did that and when I went away and just completely concentrated on here, I did play my best rugby and became probably more of a team-mate and team player.

"I supported Ireland in the World Cup. Maybe in the past I would've been a bit bitter but I was really happy with how they played. Like everybody in the country I was really behind them and wanted them to win.

"After that Scotland game I felt it was Ireland's to win, so I've really put it aside and [I'm] back supporting Ireland."

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Having made his Test debut against Japan in 2017, Cooney went on to play 11 times for Ireland, his last appearance coming in the loss to England in February 2020, a few weeks before the pandemic-enforced shutdown.

When he considers the events of four years ago, Cooney puts it down to "incredibly bad timing" and a healthy dose of bad luck.

"I can put that to bed," he insists.

"What are the odds of a worldwide pandemic happening and that happening to me? For a while I really did struggle after Covid, when you couldn't leave your house it was difficult, throughout my career I've always come out of the other side of it.

"I've had a couple of bad shoulder surgeries, neck injuries that I've learned a lot through resilience. I wouldn't change it at all.

"It's made me the man I am and the representation of my family and friends. I think when they look at me they see someone who is resilient so that's what's important."

While open about gradually coming to terms with being out of the international picture, Cooney would not be drawn on whether or not he asked the Ireland coaching staff not to be considered for selection.

"I can't comment on that," smiled the Dubliner, who last year refused to rule out a switch of international allegiance to Scotland after signing a new Ulster deal in April.

"I'll keep that one to myself. It's difficult mentally I'll just say and I find it incredibly difficult. Where I was happy and where I felt safest was here, concentrating on this team.

"That was my goal at the time and I didn't want to use any energy outside of that."

The last of Cooney's 11 Ireland caps came against England in the Six Nations in February 2020

For now, Cooney will be using his energy to focus on a critical period in Ulster's European campaign with big games against Toulouse and Harlequins over the next two weekends.

Ulster have breathed new life into their season over the last month with wins over Racing, Connacht and Leinster after a three-game losing streak.

Saturday night sees the visit of five-time Champions Cup winners Toulouse to Belfast with Cooney possibly coming up against opposite number Antoine Dupont, the France captain.

Having claimed the scalp of one French giant already before earning a rare win away to Leinster, Ulster will be confident of avenging their quarter-final loss to Toulouse in April 2022.

When asked for the overriding reason for a dramatic turnaround in Ulster's fortunes of late, Cooney admitted it was the squad's "desperation" to realise their potential after a string of sub-par performances against Glasgow, Edinburgh and Bath.

"We spoke about it that week [of the Racing game]," said Cooney, who has been with Ulster since joining from Connacht in 2017.

"We were desperate to get a result. Probably effort as well. A couple of those games, we didn't play as well as we could and Racing just went back to that.

"If you watch the individual efforts and some of the desire in the squad, when your backs are against the wall and you need something, you fall back on desire, work-rate and stuff like that.

"We have an abundance at the moment and we've come out the other side of a couple of close results, winning the last two by a point and I think that's really sparked the crowd and the team."