'Expressing my feelings through art saved my life'

Allie Watson said art helped to distract her brain when she had troubling thoughts

Warning: This article contains themes of suicide some readers might find distressing.

Trauma survivor Allie Watson was at her lowest point when she discovered the power of art.

After a mental breakdown, brain surgery and a post-traumatic stress disorder diagnosis, the 52-year-old found herself as an inpatient at a personality disorder unit.

She had been almost three decades into her career when she said the childhood trauma she experienced in Southend-on-Sea, caught up with her.

It was an art therapist who empowered Ms Watson with the tools to turn her life around.

"The reason for getting into art is I lose myself in it," she explained. "I can't tell you how cathartic it is to just sit and do something."

One piece of textiles art explored how she felt about her body

Ms Watson said for 27 years, her work acted as a coping mechanism which helped to distract from her troubling childhood experiences, which took place over 14 years.

"I had what I thought was a generally normal life - I seemed to put everything to the back of my head," she explained.

"Then I got physically ill, ended up having to give up my job and very, very quickly became mentally ill as well. I ended up having a breakdown."

'Amazing'

Ms Watson said her health spiralled so badly she required brain surgery.

Down the line at the personality disorder unit, thanks to her therapist, she found a way to get her life back on track through a discovered passion for collage and textiles.

"You can't really think about anything else while making collages," she continued.

"There's nothing else going through your head except where the next piece of paper is going to go.

"Where your brain is constantly, constantly thinking 'I hate myself, I can't cope with myself... I've got to kill myself' - suddenly all those thoughts just stop.

"Being able to pick something up that makes that dialogue stop is just amazing. Several times it's been the thing that's helped me not take the next step."

Ms Watson's work will go on display during a special exhibition in Colchester

Feeling empowered after her experiences, Ms Watson became a trauma ambassador at Healthwatch Essex, a charity helping people have a voice about health and care across the county.

Her artwork is now set to go on display in Colchester in the hope it might help other people find art as a way to manage their trauma.

"There have been times where I've been absolutely suicidal and it's been the art that's been the thing that's got me through," Ms Watson said.

"I've been able to direct everything that was happening into that piece of art and forget about things for a little while."

Ms Watson said she also hoped the exhibition would inspire other trauma survivors to find their voices and seek help.

"Any time we can talk about trauma, and what it’s actually like to have experienced trauma, is really good to break the silence," she added.

The Expressions of Trauma exhibition is due to run at The Minories Gallery, Colchester, from 10 October.

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