'Grief cafe' supporting sudden death relatives

The group meets monthly at the Oval Centre in Salterbeck, Workington

A woman whose husband died suddenly says there is a gap in bereavement support.

Margaret Heyes from Workington, Cumbria, said plenty of charities supported the families of people who died of illness, but there was nothing specifically for those who died unexpectedly or were killed in accidents.

After her husband Jeff died in February 2022, she founded a peer support group known as a "grief cafe", which now meets monthly in Salterbeck.

Its co-ordinator, psychotherapist Mark Clamp, said although he offered professional help if required, the main benefit came from its participants supporting each other.

After Ms Heyes' "fit, athletic" husband died in his sleep, she tried to find support.

She said some charities did offer bereavement help, but many focused specifically on the families of people who the charity had supported during their life.

She said her situation felt very different.

Margaret Heyes founded the Grief Cafe because she could not find local support after the sudden death of her husband

"There's all sorts of different types of grief," Ms Heyes said. "I know about anticipated grief, when you know the death's coming but you don't know when.

"But for a sudden one, you felt there was nothing."

Having founded the Grief Cafe, she has already met a fellow volunteer in a very similar situation.

"We get on really well. We also understood [getting] the knock on the door."

'Fantastic' support

Mark Clamp, who co-ordinates the cafe at the Oval Centre on behalf of the community interest company Together We, said the peer support between group participants meant he never ceased "to be surprised by what happens".

"Sometimes I think nothing much happened there, and then someone will come back and say that was great, that was fantastic," he said.

Nathan Staniford said he valued the support of other group members after the death of his wife

Nathan Staniford is a private counsellor from Cockermouth whose wife died in October 2023.

He said the group "proved to be vital".

"It's the first thing in my diary," he said.

And he said the group members understood each other because "you are in it together".

"We're in the same boat. But we've got a different paddle."