How art saved actor from 'paralysing' depression

Nitin Ganatra played Masood Ahmed in EastEnders for nine years

Nitin Ganatra found lockdown hit him "like a slap in the face". It triggered a depression so deep it was almost like paralysis, the former EastEnders actor has said.

Best known for playing Masood Ahmed in the popular soap, he said he used his love for painting to help him cope.

Ganatra, who grew up in the family corner shop in Coventry, said he used to find solace from "daily violence and racism" in drawing.

He has now hosted his first exhibition of paintings.

'Falling in love with the younger me'

Ganatra said he had a childhood where he was beaten up to and from school, and even teachers used racist expressions and names.

"I literally shut down and focused on a piece of paper with a pen - pens were cheaper than pencils at the time.

"I would draw and paint relentlessly as a coping strategy".

The same strategy kicked into action during lockdown when his trauma resurfaced.

He picked up a paintbrush, an old sketchbook and paints he had since he was 10.

"It was an outpouring of work and stories and paintings and feelings and emotions.

"I would do a painting, finish it, put it in a box.

"But then I posted one on social media, and another and the reaction started to grow.

"And then suddenly it became a reality that I could possibly start being the person that I wanted to be.

"Going back to painting was like falling in love with the younger me again."

Ganatra's work includes a series of paintings called The Boy With the Boxing Gloves

Ganatra had long harboured ambitions to paint, describing it as his "first love".

He told BBC Radio London presenter Asad Ahmad he was 17 and on his way to a university interview when he happened to sit near an art dealer who looked at his portfolio.

His hopes were dashed: "He said 'you're never going to make it'.

"It broke me, so I decided to become an actor instead."

Actor Nitin Ganatra (right) said "painting has been my journaling"

Ganatra worked on EastEnders for nine years, establishing the Ahmed family in the fictional borough of Walford alongside Nina Wadia who played his wife Zainab.

He believes it was a "brave move" to introduce a Muslim family to the show, and said he and Wadia took the opportunity to play a couple who were not stereotypical.

"What we didn't want, as actors, was to play safe.

"We were a lot more hands-on, we were very physically affectionate with each other, we were very naughty and a bit randy, you know.

"It seemed to open the doors - it didn't have to be conservative.

"And I think because we played with the drama and comedy of it, people warmed to us."

Fans have been keen to know if Ganatra will return to EastEnders - perhaps for the 40th anniversary in February?

"I get asked this every day, but as far as I know, but not as far as I know. I haven't had that phone call yet.

"But - never say never. I'll take my canvas with me."