Families angry over plan to remove grave mementos

Nicola Smith's son took his own life in 2018

Grieving families say they are "devastated" over the planned removal of personal mementos from their loved ones' graves.

Maintenance teams will remove tributes, decorations and other ornaments from a cemetery in Chilwell, Nottinghamshire - the first of five council-owned sites to be cleared of "unofficial grave surrounds".

But some families have called the move "heartbreaking", including a bereaved mother who said she considered exhuming her son's body.

Broxtowe Borough Council said its rules on what was permitted on a grave were already in place, but "maintenance difficulties and health and safety issues" prompted the decision to act.

The cabinet made the decision in July and said the first phase of the programme - to be carried out over 21 months - started in October in Chilwell.

A notice has been put up in Chilwell Cemetery, which will be the first of the five cemeteries cleared by Broxtowe Borough Council

Lindsey Collins - whose 19-year-old son Josh Collins was buried in Beeston Cemetery in 2021 - said she was "heartbroken".

"It's come to the stage where I'm considering exhuming my son, because I've got no faith left in the council," she said.

The 45-year-old said it would allow her son's ashes to remain at home.

Ms Collins added that she found out about the planned clearance from a friend who saw a council notice at Chilwell Cemetery.

"I've not had any letters, the council have not consulted us, they didn't tell us about the meeting [that decided this enforcement in July]," she said.

The council said it had written to all the affected grave owners at Chilwell Cemetery.

Nicola Smith, whose son Aaron took his own life aged 21, said it would be more difficult to honour him.

She said items placed on his grave represented things he enjoyed and were the only connection her family had left to Aaron.

'Distress and trauma'

"Why would [the council] need to remove that?

"It's not unkept, it's not nasty, it's not overgrown, it's beautiful in my opinion," the 50-year-old added.

An online petition against the move has been launched, saying it was "causing notable distress and trauma".

A report published by the borough council said its health and safety concerns included memorial items being trip hazards and impeding "safe access and egress" for visitors and council employees.

It added that unofficial items had "accumulated over the years", particularly during the pandemic, "when the monitoring of graves was impacted".

A spokesperson for the local authority said: "The council recognises that bereavement can affect us all differently.

"It can be a very upsetting and emotive time for those experiencing grief.

"Whenever a grave is purchased, the council ensures that the grave purchaser has signed the relevant documentation stating that they are aware of the rules and regulations and will abide by them."

The council added that the relevant rules had been displayed in each of its cemeteries "for many years".