Parent mental health service is 'like a lifeline'

ReConnect works with parents across Buckinghamshire

Two mothers who have been helped by a "pioneering" adult mental health service have said it helped them keep their families together.

ReConnect works with parents across Buckinghamshire to support parents and break patterns of abuse and neglect.

The service, which is managed by Oxford Health NHS Foundation Trust, is celebrating its 10th anniversary.

Nora and Jiya, whose names have been changed, have both been helped by the charity, which has been described as a "lifeline".

"I look back now and think 'was that me going through domestic violence? How did I survive?' I thought it was all normal," Nora told the BBC.

"Before I had my fourth child my kids were removed to care.

"I got pregnant again and social services gave me a choice for me to stay with my husband and my unborn baby would be placed in care the minute she was born, or I had to chose my baby - and I chose my baby."

She said that on joining the ReConnect service she had been "worried about telling people what I’d been through" and "worried about losing my child if they found out what I went though".

"It’s helped me to say 'no, things have to change', and now I look back and it’s like I can’t believe I went through that," she said.

"Now, being a mum is great. I’m also a grandmother. I haven’t been in any domestic violence for over 10 years now due to ReConnect."

'I wanted help'

Jiya was referred to ReConnect following the birth of her second child.

"This was my second pregnancy and I probably wasn’t having a second child for the right reasons," she told the BBC.

"The emotions were quite negative and I do remember thinking 'maybe I could just miscarry' and that would be for the best."

Having had her son, Jiya said her emotions "just got worse".

"I remember thinking the only solution or the best thing that could happen was if he just died of natural causes and that would play on my mind - 'that’s my only way out of here'," she said.

"Obviously in reality I wouldn’t want that to happen, but it’s seemed my only escape route."

A routine doctor's appointment for her mastitis, at which Jiya "broke down", set off a chain of events that ended with her being referred to ReConnect.

"I didn’t hesitate, I wanted help, that’s what I wanted all along - some support," she said.

"The best thing I think was being able to talk to somebody, to say the feelings out loud that you were holding inside."

"It was like a lifeline - [without ReConnect] I don’t know if I’d still have my children with me - it had been a really horrible few years," Jiya added.

Dr Nicola Connolly is clinical lead at ReConnect

Dr Nicola Connolly, a consultant clinical psychologist and clinical lead for ReConnect, said the service had helped hundreds of families.

"ReConnect is a long term investment in a child’s future," she said.

"We know that removing children from families has a massive impact on a child’s mental health, their attachment relationship and their ability to function well.

"What ReConnect tries to do is keep parents and children together by making the home safe."