'I don't want to die in pain like my dad did'

Jess Clark said dealing with her grief following her father's death was to talk about assisted dying

A woman from Hull is pushing for MPs to vote for the assisted dying bill after witnessing her father die of terminal cancer.

Jess Clark's father, Dennis Blake, was diagnosed with lung and prostate cancer in October 2023. The disease spread to other parts of his body and he died in August.

She said he had a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order in place because "he didn’t want to be kept alive" and believes her father would have chosen a help to die option to prevent him from suffering in his final days.

A proposed law in England and Wales could stop the "worst-case scenario of a horrific death", but campaigners have raised concerns people could feel pressured into ending their lives.

Dennis Blake died aged 80 in August after the cancer in his lung and prostate spread to the rest of his body

"It took six days for my dad to die," said Mrs Clark, 48.

"It was such a horrible thing to see.

"I just don't want to die in pain, like my dad did."

Although Mr Blake "wasn't fit and well enough to have chemotherapy", he received various treatments, including hormone therapy to shrink the prostate cancer and immunotherapy.

He was taking up to 30 drugs to ease his pain and symptoms, which left him with side effects including hallucination.

"He was in pain all the time," Mrs Clark said.

"When he wasn't on the medication, he was there, he was my dad. He was in the room, he was having conversations.

"When he was on the medication, he was away with it. He was sedated, he was in a dreamland, he was hallucinating. He would talk and it wouldn't make any sense.

"So it was the choice of being like that or being fast asleep.

"I know at that point he really felt like he'd lost his dignity."

Jess described her father's 80th birthday in April - months before his death - as "a living wake"

Mr Blake spent the final days of his life in a hospice and, by that point, he had stopped eating and drinking.

"My dad was dying. He was changing visibly in front of our eyes," Mrs Clark said.

"The cancer was affecting him so much that it made the body shut down. But what actually shut him down in the end was the starvation process, which was just horrible to see.

"As a family we sat around his bed. We spent all the time there with him and were with him when he died. It was a traumatic time, but in a lot of ways I think we're all really grateful that we were there with him."

Following her father's death, her mechanism for dealing with her grief was "to talk about assisted dying". She urged all her friends and family to contact their MPs "to push this through and to get them talking about it".

"Seeing him go through that, it made me think I don't want to go through that pain and I don't want my family to have to sit by me while I go through that either."

The legislation will require two independent doctors and a High Court judge to determine whether the person satisfies the criteria to take their own life.

'Donor cards'

MPs are due to debate and vote on the Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill on 29 November.

The BBC has been contacting MPs and looking at their public statements about how they are planning to vote.

Many remain undecided or are consulting their constituents as they weigh up their decision.

However, Sir Ed Davey, the Liberal Democrat leader, said he was worried people would feel under pressure – from themselves – to end their lives so they did not become "a burden".

Dr Gordon Macdonald, the chief executive of Care Not Killing, which is campaigning against the bill, said: "The safest law is the one we currently have.

"This bill is being rushed with indecent haste and ignores the deep-seated problems in the UK’s broken and patchy palliative care system."

Mrs Clark said it was important for people to "have the right to make a choice" and suggested a donor card-style system whereby people recorded their decision for the best option for themselves before any diagnosis or illness.

"It's too late for my dad now but, when my time comes, I want to know that I'm going to have a choice."

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