'I spent 36 years holding dying patients' hands'

On the day of Trish Carling's last shift at the hospice, her colleagues applauded her as she left work

For hospice nurse Trish Carling, holding a dying patient's hand through the dark hours of the night was a privilege to share.

The 66-year-old has just retired after 36 years working in palliative care at St Michael's Hospice in Harrogate.

Her first shift was in November 1989, and she has worked almost every Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve since. Despite the demands of the job, she originally chose the pathway because it worked around family life when her children were young.

"At first I found the night shifts practical - they then became my preferred hours," she said.

Trish Carling was 30 when she began hospice nursing

Mrs Carling was 30 when she began hospice nursing. She had trained in Northumberland but had never worked in an end-of-life care setting before.

She was inspired to take the role after her father's death from cancer in the 1980s.

"From the very beginning I was struck by the warmth, care, and compassion of the hospice team," she said.

"It was different to anything I'd seen before."

In 1994 the hospice moved to Hornbeam Park Avenue, and Mrs Carling said she must have looked after "hundreds" of people at the end of their lives after nearly 40 years of service.

'Dignity, love, joy'

"There have been difficult times," she recalled. "Yes, some really tough times. But that's what we do.

"It's not just for the patients, but their families and friends too."

Mrs Carling said her career had been full of "little moments which stay with you forever," such as the memory of a patient whose last wish was for a taste of champagne.

"Throughout the night we helped her sip the champagne," she said.

"When she was too weak, we dipped sponges into the champagne so she could enjoy the taste. Her last wish before she died."

She added: "Nursing is not just about medicine, it's about dignity, love, and joy."

The night shifts were convenient for taking her children, Christopher and Rachel, to school the next day, before she would head home for a few hours of sleep. She would wake to collect them again.

"It was exhausting at times, but you just found a way to make it work."

Night shifts were often special times.

"It can be a very quiet and peaceful time. You get to spend real quality time, real one-to-one with the patients.

"Patients' fears can also really be heightened at night in the dark and just to be able to sit with a patient, you don't even have to say anything, just be there and hold their hand, make a cup of tea, is important."

At the end of her last shift on Monday, Mrs Carling was "clapped out" by her colleagues down the drive of the hospice.

"It's a really lovely story," said Tatiana Davey, marketing manager at St Michael's.

"Trish is an amazing person, so dedicated.

"She's worked there for 36 years and it's so touching to think how many people she has been with for the end of their lives.

"She will be remembered by so many of the friends and families of the people she was with until they died."

Ms Carling added that retirement would be "a very, very big change".

"It'll be very, very different. I'll be able to go to bed every night. But I've done nights for so long so I've just got used to it, it's going to take me more to get used to being awake in the day and sleeping every night I think!

"As long as I feel I've made a difference, that's what matters."

Mrs Carling's final plea was for people to help by donating to the hospice.

"We can only do what we do with the public's support," she said.

"St Michael's is all a charity and we're dependent on people donating to us."

She added: "This hospice belongs to the community, and it needs you."

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