BBC Homepage
  • Skip to content
  • Accessibility Help
  • Your account
  • Notifications
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • More menu
More menu
Search BBC
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
Close menu
BBC News
Menu
  • Home
  • InDepth
  • Israel-Gaza war
  • War in Ukraine
  • Climate
  • UK
  • World
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Culture
More
  • Tech
  • Science
  • Health
  • Family & Education
  • In Pictures
  • Newsbeat
  • BBC Verify
  • Disability
  • Trending

The unmarried Pakistani woman who wrote about her sex life

  • Published
    6 May 2016
Share page
About sharing
Pakistani writer Zahra HaiderImage source, Zahra Haider
Image caption,

Zahra Haider's article on sex generated thousands of comments

BBC Trending
What's popular and why

When Pakistani writer Zahra Haider wrote about her pre-marital sexual encounters as a teenager in Islamabad for Vice magazine, social media - as you can imagine - had a lot to say.

Haider, now in her 20s, moved to Canada just before her 19th birthday. She wrote that she had used hotel rooms for her liaisons and that her parents "threw a completely irrational and melodramatic fit" when they found out about them.

Her story, external has been shared thousands of times and has generated a fierce debate. Some people took exception to her saying that Pakistan had one of the "highest porn-watching populations in the world" and that Pakistanis were "horny and desperate for sex". Others focused on her admission that she had sex with "almost a dozen people" as a teenager in Islamabad.

Tweet criticising ZahraImage source, Twitter
Tweet criticising ZahraImage source, Twitter

In an open letter, external to Haider on Facebook, which itself was shared more than 6,000 times, journalist Ali Moeen Nawazish criticised her for passing "cultural judgements" on Pakistanis. Nawazish told Trending that there was no "evidence to back up (Haider's) assertion that Pakistan is the most porn-watching country in the world or that we are sexually repressed". He added that Haider's experience as one of Pakistan's "elite" is not indicative of that of other Pakistani women.

Some social media users in Pakistan were, however, supportive.

A tweet supporting Zahra HaiderImage source, Twitter
A tweet supporting Zahra HaiderImage source, Twitter

Haider told Trending that she wrote the piece in order to encourage more open discussion of sex.

"For example, I received a message from someone in Pakistan who lost his brother to Aids. He said that his brother clearly felt shame when discussing his sexuality. The man said as his brother didn't understand what was happening to his body, he lost his life."

Blog by Upasana Bhat and Megha Mohan, external

Next story How India's 'tree hugger' is tackling forest fires

Ela Smetacek hugging a treeImage source, Ela Smetacek

A viral Facebook post has shed light on forest fires which have been affecting thousands of people in the northern Indian state of Uttarakhand. READ MORE

You can follow BBC Trending on Twitter @BBCtrending, external, and find us on Facebook, external. All our stories are at bbc.com/trending.

Top stories

  • US woman convicted over failed assassination in UK

    • Published
      1 hour ago
  • A dating app, a niqab and a 9mm gun - how a US woman was hired to end a UK family feud

    • Published
      3 hours ago
  • Live. 

    National Guard troops arrive in Washington DC on Trump's orders

    • 3379 viewing3.4k viewing

More to explore

  • When is it too hot to walk your dog?

    A happy-looking Jack Russell terrier dog wearing a red collar holds an orange ball in his mouth while playing in a park.
  • A dating app, a niqab and a 9mm gun - how a US woman was hired to end a UK family feud

    Footage captures Betro possibly in a shop with baggage. She has headphones on over a blue jacket and patterned dress.
  • North Koreans tell BBC they are being sent to work 'like slaves' in Russia

    A graphic showing a North Korean worker in a hard hat and reflective vest with his head in his hands
  • Perseid meteor shower: When, where and how to catch a glimpse

    A long-exposure photo of the night sky during the Perseid Meteor Shower shows circular star trails caused by Earth's rotation. Trees with green and yellow leaves are visible in the foreground.
  • Grammy-winning Afropop star Tems: 'Women are not respected in the industry'

    Tems sings into a microphone. She wears a red top and stands in front of a blue, starry background.
  • How a Red Bull can helped solve mystery of missing cyclist

    A CCTV image of a cyclist taken from the forecourt of a garage
  • Flames near Madrid as wildfires burn across Spain and Portugal

    Aerial of red flames burning in mountain next to houses
  • What we learned from Nicola Sturgeon's memoir

    Nicola Sturgeon smiling at the camera, wearing a white coat and red lipstick
  • Summer Essential: Your family’s guide to the summer, delivered to your inbox every Tuesday

    concentric circles ranging from orange to yellow to represent the sun, with a blue sky background
loading elsewhere stories

Most read

  1. 1

    US woman convicted over failed assassination in UK

  2. 2

    Men being over-treated for prostate cancer, says charity

  3. 3

    A dating app, a niqab and a 9mm gun - how a US woman was hired to end a UK family feud

  4. 4

    YouTuber George Clarke added to Strictly line-up

  5. 5

    Madonna urges Pope to visit Gaza 'before it's too late'

  6. 6

    HMRC using AI to scour suspected tax cheats' social media

  7. 7

    Small boat migrant crossings hit 50,000 under Labour

  8. 8

    Twin Lamborghinis seized in supercar crackdown

  9. 9

    Mum of murdered boy calls for killer to be named

  10. 10

    When is it too hot to walk your dog?

BBC News Services

  • On your mobile
  • On smart speakers
  • Get news alerts
  • Contact BBC News

Best of the BBC

  • A look at the Brighton bombing of 1984

    • Attribution
      iPlayer
    Bombing Brighton: The Plot to Kill Thatcher
  • Why was this French film so controversial?

    • Attribution
      Sounds
    La Haine: the film that shocked France
  • The award-winning story of a code-busting hero

    • Attribution
      iPlayer
    The Imitation Game
  • A mind-altering look at psychedelics

    • Attribution
      Sounds
    Understand: The Trip
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • Terms of Use
  • About the BBC
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookies
  • Accessibility Help
  • Parental Guidance
  • Contact the BBC
  • Make an editorial complaint
  • BBC emails for you

Copyright © 2025 BBC. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read about our approach to external linking.