BBC Homepage
  • Skip to content
  • Accessibility Help
  • Your account
  • Notifications
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • More menu
More menu
Search BBC
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
Close menu
BBC News
Menu
  • Home
  • InDepth
  • Israel-Gaza war
  • War in Ukraine
  • Climate
  • UK
  • World
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Culture
More
  • Tech
  • Science
  • Health
  • Family & Education
  • In Pictures
  • Newsbeat
  • BBC Verify
  • Disability
  • Trending

The unmarried Pakistani woman who wrote about her sex life

  • Published
    6 May 2016
Share page
About sharing
Pakistani writer Zahra HaiderImage source, Zahra Haider
Image caption,

Zahra Haider's article on sex generated thousands of comments

ByBBC Trending
What's popular and why

When Pakistani writer Zahra Haider wrote about her pre-marital sexual encounters as a teenager in Islamabad for Vice magazine, social media - as you can imagine - had a lot to say.

Haider, now in her 20s, moved to Canada just before her 19th birthday. She wrote that she had used hotel rooms for her liaisons and that her parents "threw a completely irrational and melodramatic fit" when they found out about them.

Her story, external has been shared thousands of times and has generated a fierce debate. Some people took exception to her saying that Pakistan had one of the "highest porn-watching populations in the world" and that Pakistanis were "horny and desperate for sex". Others focused on her admission that she had sex with "almost a dozen people" as a teenager in Islamabad.

Tweet criticising ZahraImage source, Twitter
Tweet criticising ZahraImage source, Twitter

In an open letter, external to Haider on Facebook, which itself was shared more than 6,000 times, journalist Ali Moeen Nawazish criticised her for passing "cultural judgements" on Pakistanis. Nawazish told Trending that there was no "evidence to back up (Haider's) assertion that Pakistan is the most porn-watching country in the world or that we are sexually repressed". He added that Haider's experience as one of Pakistan's "elite" is not indicative of that of other Pakistani women.

Some social media users in Pakistan were, however, supportive.

A tweet supporting Zahra HaiderImage source, Twitter
A tweet supporting Zahra HaiderImage source, Twitter

Haider told Trending that she wrote the piece in order to encourage more open discussion of sex.

"For example, I received a message from someone in Pakistan who lost his brother to Aids. He said that his brother clearly felt shame when discussing his sexuality. The man said as his brother didn't understand what was happening to his body, he lost his life."

Blog by Upasana Bhat and Megha Mohan, external

Next story How India's 'tree hugger' is tackling forest fires

Ela Smetacek hugging a treeImage source, Ela Smetacek

A viral Facebook post has shed light on forest fires which have been affecting thousands of people in the northern Indian state of Uttarakhand. READ MORE

You can follow BBC Trending on Twitter @BBCtrending, external, and find us on Facebook, external. All our stories are at bbc.com/trending.

Top stories

  • Police name Manchester attacker who killed two at synagogue

    • Published
      39 minutes ago
  • What we know about Manchester synagogue attack

    • Published
      1 hour ago
  • What footage tells us about Manchester synagogue attack

    • Published
      5 hours ago

More to explore

  • What we know about Manchester synagogue attack

    Worshippers gather near the scene of the attack
  • What footage tells us about Manchester synagogue attack

    Two police officers are seen pointing their weapons at a man lying on the ground who is blurred
  • Ozzy Osbourne 'wouldn't change a thing', he told BBC film

    Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne kissing
  • How Taylor Swift made herself too big to fail

    Side-by-side portraits of Taylor Swift at different times in her career, under a 'BBC InDepth' logo. On the left, she has straight hair and wears a sparkly pink outfit, looking left. On the right, she is younger, has curly hair and wears a black sequined outfit, looking right. The background features a vinyl record design with star decorations.
  • How much time could Diddy spend in prison?

    A sketch in copurt shows Sean "Diddy" Combs wearing glasses and a yellow prison jumpsuit. There is a police officer sketched behind him
  • Should I use olive oil for frying? How to choose the right cooking oil

    A stock photo shows a woman pouring a big bottle of sunflower oil into a deep wok pan on an electric hob with cooking ingredients all around her and her kitchen cabinets and oven in the background.
  • Why BBC sent undercover reporter into a busy London police station

    Rory Bibb, a young white man with dark, curly hair, dressed in the uniform of Metropolitan Police civilian staff, a navy zip-up top with a badge saying "designated detention officer" and royal blue epaulettes. He is standing against a blank white background.
  • Relief and new baby for asylum family of child suffocated in Channel crossing

    A newborn baby is carefully held up by his doting father, with mother in background
  • Why the US government has shut down and what happens now

    File image of the US Capitol building with a blurry sign in the foreground that reads "Stop Trump"
loading elsewhere stories

Most read

  1. 1

    I'll change the monarchy when I'm king, says Prince William

  2. 2

    Police name Manchester attacker who killed two at synagogue

  3. 3

    Baroness Mone accuses chancellor of 'inflammatory' language

  4. 4

    What we know about Manchester synagogue attack

  5. 5

    Only Fools and Horses actor dies aged 68

  6. 6

    Mum's anti-chemo views influenced daughter's death

  7. 7

    Hamas military leader in Gaza objects to ceasefire plan, BBC understands

  8. 8

    I'm not resigning, Met Police chief says after BBC investigation

  9. 9

    Say sorry to children for Covid errors, ex-children's commissioner tells ministers

  10. 10

    Storm Amy upgraded to amber warning

BBC News Services

  • On your mobile
  • On smart speakers
  • Get news alerts
  • Contact BBC News

Best of the BBC

  • A heartfelt comedy exploring adoption and parenthood

    • Attribution
      iPlayer

    Added to Watchlist
    Trying has been added to your iPlayer Watchlist.
    Trying
  • Director Steven Spielberg shares the soundtrack of his life

    • Attribution
      Sounds

    Added to My Sounds
    Desert Island Discs has been added to your My Sounds.
    Desert Island Discs: Steven Spielberg
  • Unravelling the mysteries of the human brain

    • Attribution
      iPlayer

    Added to Watchlist
    Secrets of the Brain has been added to your iPlayer Watchlist.
    Secrets of the Brain
  • Paul Sinha is quizzed on crisps and cricket

    • Attribution
      Sounds

    Added to My Sounds
    Paul Sinha's Perfect Pub Quiz has been added to your My Sounds.
    Paul Sinha's Perfect Pub Quiz
  • Home
  • News
  • Sport
  • Weather
  • iPlayer
  • Sounds
  • Bitesize
  • CBBC
  • CBeebies
  • Food
  • Terms of Use
  • About the BBC
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookies
  • Accessibility Help
  • Parental Guidance
  • Contact the BBC
  • Make an editorial complaint
  • BBC emails for you

Copyright © 2025 BBC. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read about our approach to external linking.