Glastonbury 2019: 13 things we'll never forget

Hello, hello, hello. Check 1-2. Etc.

The sun shone almost as brightly as Kylie, Stormzy put his imprint on the Pyramid Stage, and we nearly ran out of water.

Glastonbury 2019 was one of the most good-natured, laid-back festivals in recent memory. Even the police had a quiet weekend - with just 96 offences recorded, down 46% from the last festival in 2017.

Here are some of the strange and striking moments we encountered along the way.

1) Thanks to Stormzy, we know how to say Shut Up in sign language

This clip of Stormzy's sign-language interpreter (one of only four grime interpreters in the UK) went viral over the weekend.

Tara Asher was filmed in front of the Pyramid Stage enthusiastically signing the rapper's song Shut Up, so hearing impaired people could enjoy the show.

She told BBC 5 Live she spends a day rehearsing each song, so she can get the lyrics just right.

2) Move over Janet, these were Glastonbury's best dancers

Wessex and Clifton, from Avon and Somerset Constabulary's mounted division, really got into Anne-Marie's set on Saturday afternoon.

We hear they also asked Kylie to play the theme to Neigh-bours but, sadly, she declined.

3) Lewis Capaldi's big entrance

A couple of weeks ago, Noel Gallagher went on whatever the opposite of a charm offensive is, taking a few unwarranted pot shots at singer-songwriter Lewis Capaldi.

First, he tweeted Capaldi, telling him to "find some joy" in his music, saying it upset his young son. Then, in an interview on Radio X, he asked "Who is Lewis Capaldi? Who's that idiot?"

The Scottish singer turned it to his advantage, playing the clip on a loop as he walked onto the Other Stage, dressed as Noel's brother Liam, before revealing a T-shirt with Noel's face on it.

"I thought I'd take a leaf out of Jay-Z's book," he said, recalling how the rapper sampled Gallagher saying hip-hop was "wrong" for Glastonbury when he played the Pyramid Stage in 2008.

"But I love Noel," he added. "It was all in jest."

4) Neneh Cherry encounters the Windows screen of death

Half-way through Neneh Cherry's set on the West Holts stage, as she performed a laid-back take on 7 Seconds, the laptop running her video screens spluttered to a halt, leaving the singer performing in front of the boot screen and the Windows XP logo for the best part of a minute.

But hold on a minute... Windows XP? Surely the residual royalties to Buffalo Stance alone would be enough to buy Neneh a new laptop.

5) When George Ezra almost sabotaged Stormzy's set

"Oopsy-daisy."

Stormzy's set was a lot of things - groundbreaking, urgent, thrilling. But it was also 10 minutes late.

According to the rumour mill, the delay was all George Ezra's fault. He'd fired two giant glitter guns into the audience as he played Shotgun earlier in the night, but a sudden gust of wind swept the confetti into the Pyramid Stage's generators - which had to be cleaned out before Stormzy could play.

Apocryphal? Probably. But we're using the exact same excuse next time we're late for work because the car won't start.

6) Sigrid's biggest fan

Viewers' hearts went out to the girl watching Sigrid's set on the Other Stage through floods and floods of tears.

It was a display of unabashed love and fandom, which didn't go unnoticed by the singer, who immediately started a hunt for her biggest fan on Sunday.

7) Liam Gallagher's heart of gold

Liam Gallagher dedicated the Oasis classic to "Lauren" - a sick fan he'd met last year.

It turned out she was Lauren Mahon, presenter of 5 Live's cancer podcast You, Me and the Big C, who'd delayed her radiotherapy to watch Gallagher's set at Glastonbury two years ago.

"I still can't believe it happened," she told the BBC. "I don't know where I go from here in life."

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• Glastonbury: Killers joined by Pet Shop Boys

8) This deckchair

9) Lizzo taught us all to love ourselves

Playing on the West Holts stage, Lizzo was on a mission to lift every soul, spiritually as well as musically.

"I want you to know that I love you very much and I'm very proud of you," she said. "And I want you to know that if you can love me, you can love your goddamn self.

"I want you to go home tonight and look in the mirror and say. 'I love you, you are beautiful, and you can do anything!'

"Because I can believe we can save the world if we save ourselves first. And you all can change the world."

10) Kylie's triumphant homecoming

Fourteen years after cancer forced her to pull out of a headline slot, Kylie finally got her moment on the Pyramid Stage, and it couldn't have been more heartwarming.

She sang, she danced, she cried... and she channelled every era of her career from innocent 80s Kylie (I Should Be So Lucky) to 90s sex kitten Kylie (Confide In Me) and even elder-stateswoman of pop Kylie (the superlative Dancing).

She even brought out Nick Cave for a steamy duet on the gothic ballad Where The Wild Roses Grow.

"Just so you know, I've never seen so many people in my life," she announced as she surveyed the crowd. And no-one else this weekend saw more.

11) Glastonbury's first baptism

Actually, there were two... in the Sanctuary Marquee, high up in the hills, overlooking the rest of the festival on Sunday morning.

Dave Johnson, 32, came from the Peak District to receive the blessing from Rev Chris North, while 11-month-old baby Maggie became the first child baptised at the festival, much to the delight of her parents Claire and Geoff, who are long-time festival-goers.

12) Billie Eilish's amazing phone demand

As she sat down cross-legged to play Ocean Eyes, Billie Eilish had some advice for fans who wanted to film her performance.

"If you want to film me, that's OK - but put the phone next to your face and look me in the eye.

"Because we're right here now together and this is the only moment we ever get together, ever."

That's right - you can film the show without watching it simultaneously on the screen. Why did no-one tell us this before? This changes everything.

13) Michael Eavis's parking space

Well, there's got to be one perk for setting this whole thing up. See you next year for the 50th anniversary.