Don't Jealous Me on raising awareness about mental health

You might know Tolu Ogunmefun as the YouTuber and TikTok star Don't Jealous Me or by his nickname T.Boy.

Or maybe it's Nate, the best friend of reformed drug dealer Mobeen Deen in the BBC Three comedy Man Like Mobeen.

But what you probably didn't know was that while he was filming the first series of that show, he felt like he was "about to die", due to mental health struggles.

"I suffered from anxiety when my Mrs was pregnant," he tells the BBC Radio 1Xtra podcast If You Don't Know.

"It was a very stressful period and my mum was in hospital as well."

'Guys don't voice out'

He remembers going to hospital himself and asking staff to check his heart because he knew something wasn't right.

At one point, he thought maybe it was a problem with his diet.

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"It got to a point where I remember trying to sleep and having anxiety whilst I'm sleeping and feeling like I'm drowning [with] moments where I feel like I'm about to die," he says.

General Anxiety Disorder is estimated to affect up to 5% of people in the UK, according to the NHS. Men are slightly less likely to be affected than women.

Tolu says he suffered with anxiety for a few years, but when he first found out he tried to hide it. It was at that time he realised "guys don't voice out".

"We don't talk at all," he says. "I kept everything to myself. That is when it got to the height that it got to."

He says he "didn't have anyone to be like: 'Yo bro, this is what I'm going through'."

But now, four years after the first series was released, he says he feels like he has a duty to speak out about mental health issues and let guys know it's OK to talk about their feelings.

'Just talk about it'

"Even with my friendship group now I tell them that I love them. I know someone might not tell you that today, but I love you."

Tolu started posting YouTube sketches in 2008. Since then, his videos have been watched around 45 million times.

He's also used Instagram as a platform to raise mental health awareness.

The influencer reckons it can be hard to accept our feelings sometimes, because we all want to feel "super human". But he says it's important we all have people we can talk to.

"I've probably seen my dad cry once or twice and these tears are quick tears," he says.

"If you want to talk about anything just talk about it."

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this story, support and advice is available via the BBC Action Line.

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