Coronavirus: Father's funeral left son in 'emotional limbo'

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John Atack
Image caption,

John Atack said he felt "we've let me dad down through circumstances completely outside of our control"

A man who attended his father's funeral from outside a crematorium chapel said he was left in "emotional limbo" unable "to get closure" on his dad's death.

Only 10 people were allowed to attend 88-year-old Malcolm Atack's funeral in Elland, West Yorkshire, in April.

His son John Atack said the funeral "didn't seem at all dignified" and the unusual circumstances had a "lasting effect" on the grieving process.

"I feel that we've let me dad down," said Mr Atack, who lives in Essex.

"The overriding emotion should be grief but it was a bizarre feeling to be huddled outside the door of the crematorium like a bunch of naughty school children outside the headmaster's office."

He said the coronavirus pandemic restriction measures meant the family could not get together to comfort each other in their grief, celebrate his father's life and "get all your emotions out of your system".

Image source, Rainbow Trout Films
Image caption,

Calderdale Council said the limit on the number of mourners attending funerals had recently increased from 10 to 20 people

"We've not really been able to or we haven't at all been able to get closure on me dad's death.

"At the funeral we couldn't have grandchildren give me mum - the grandma - a big hug... But that's what all the grieving process is about, to get rid of all those emotions.

"So it's been an emotional limbo now for six months."

'No humanity'

Mr Atack, whose father's death was not related to Covid-19, said the local authority had interpreted the government's guidelines on funeral services during the outbreak "in a strict manner, which had also upset the funeral director".

"We'd all been reduced to standing in this wind tunnel of an outside area, outside the front door, and it just didn't seem at all dignified.

"There's no humanity there. It's a basic human right to be able to grieve a family member when they die."

Calderdale Council said it had to introduce restrictions on funerals to prevent the spread of the virus and was "saddened about the impact this has had on people's grieving process".

Councillor Susan Press said: "Throughout the pandemic, all funeral services have continued to be carried out with the utmost care and respect, and we have done everything possible to support bereaved families at what we know is already a tragic and difficult time."

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