Salford writer's new play explores burden of 'gay shame'

Nathaniel Hall says his new play is semi-autobiographical and loosely based on his experiences

A playwright who wrote an award-winning play about how he contracted HIV is to return to the stage with his second play about the impact of "gay shame".

Nathaniel Hall, 36, of Salford, said his First Time follow-up was "loosely based" on past experiences in volatile, sometimes abusive, relationships.

He said he wrote Toxic after finding many other LGBTQ+ people had been locked in similar relationships.

Set in Manchester, he said it was "a love letter to all my exes and myself".

The semi-autobiographical play premieres at Home Manchester later marking Hall's return to the stage since First Time reached its 100th performance in early 2022.

The writer and actor's professional life took off after his one-man play about contracting HIV the first time he had sex, which received rave reviews when he took it to the Edinburgh Fringe in 2019.

He was then cast in Russell T Davies's acclaimed ITV drama It's A Sin.

However, he said his private life took a "nosedive" and he was in "free fall" after the end of a five-year relationship the same year.

Nathaniel Hall stars alongside Josh-Susan Enright in his second play Toxic

It led him into looking into why he had found himself locked in cycles of self-destructive behaviour and at times abusive relationships.

He said he started therapy and realised he had been trying to "mask the pain of years of homophobia and HIV stigma I'd faced, and how alcohol, drugs and the pursuit of sex were the perfect escapes from tackling it head on".

Speaking to friends, he said he found it was a common thread in the LBGTQ+ community.

"I wanted to know why when the world treats us so badly, do we end up treating ourselves and each other badly, too?" he said.

It inspired him to speak to experts and run creative workshops.

"I led workshops with gay and bisexual people and conversations opened out into HIV shame, gender, race, poverty, sex work," he said.

"It became clear despite the modern pride movement, many of us still battle deep rooted shame. Sometimes we're not even aware of it."

He said having to hide your sexuality, can be a "heavy burden to carry" and can have a "profound" effect on people in later life.

Nathaniel Hall's career took off after his debut play First Time

The Dibby Theatre production, which runs until 28 October before touring the UK next year is set in a "queer warehouse party" in Manchester in 2017.

Hall stresses it was not "revenge art" but more "a love letter to all my exes and myself" observed through what he describes as a "compassionate lens".

"It is about how two people meet, fall in love and mess it up," he said.

"It is a rollercoaster. It goes to challenging places but there are laughs and thumping original music along the way as well as the sexiest Macarena ever.

"Ultimately it is about survival and resilience," he said. "You can not just survive but thrive."

Hall said he was "terrified and excited" as he prepared to star alongside Josh-Susan Enright for the opening show.

But he said writing the play alongside therapy has been "therapeutic" and he was now in a happy relationship.

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