Mental health: 'Men think it's weak to speak when not well'

There were signs Emmette wasn't coping, his brother said, but he hid them well

The twin brother of a man who took his own life has said there are still too many barriers stopping people talking about their mental health.

Emmette Dillon died in Londonderry in September 2021 at the age of 33.

His brother Ryan said, in hindsight, there were signs Emmette was not coping but "being a typical man, (he) hid it well".

"There's a stigma. Men feel they should be strong and powerful and not let things affect them."

He told BBC Radio Foyle's North West Today: "The only way Emmette could see out was to end his life."

According to the Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency's (Nisra's) most recent figures, the suicide rate for men and women has been on an upward trajectory since 2019.

There were 237 deaths from suicide in Northern Ireland in 2021 - 18 more than the number recorded in 2020.

The suicide rate in Northern Ireland in 2021 was slightly higher than in other parts of the UK

It is the highest number of registered deaths from suicide since 2015 - 176 were men, 61 women.

In the Derry and Strabane council area, there were 23 suicide deaths in 2021, higher than the number registered in every year since 2014.

'A really good guy'

According to Ryan, Emmette "when he was at himself, (was) a very sociable outgoing person - a very caring person".

He had worked in care homes during their school years and forged a career in nursing.

Emmette worked as a model too, doing things like wedding shows.

Ryan says Emmette struggled to come to terms with the loss of their mum in 2014

"All in all he was a really good guy," Ryan said.

Their mum died in 2014. That loss, Ryan said, was for Emmette "the start of a downward spiral".

"He couldn't cope with it at all. There were signs there he wasn't coping."

'He never would admit it'

Ryan lives in a world now in which many things - certain songs and foods - remind him "of a time and a place when Emmett was here".

He wants others to know help is available.

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"Especially with men, it is difficult. They seem to think it is nearly weak to speak about not being well, admit you are not well.

"You could see Emmette wasn't well, but he never would admit it."

A charity challenge currently taking place in Derry is helping break down barriers, Ryan said.

Danny Quigley previously completed 10 Ironman triathlons in 10 days

Endurance athlete Danny Quigley is swimming the length of the Foyle - about 90km (55 miles) - to raise funds and awareness of the issue.

"Danny Quigley does make it a bit easier, the fact that he is openly speaking about it, he is beating the stigma."

Ryan added: "The main thing with the challenge is getting people talking.

"He is breaking the boundaries and the stigma around mental health."

• If you have been affected by these stories or issues they raise - or have concern for your or another person's mental health and wellbeing - BBC Action Line has contacts for many organisations that can help