Facebook: Concern over group naming men to be avoided on dating apps

Posts feature screen shots of dating profiles with women asking members about any red flags about individuals

A social media group set up to name men who should be avoided on dating apps has been described as "extremely concerning".

The private Facebook group "Are We Dating The Same Guy Belfast/ Derry/ Northern Ireland" has 25,000 members.

Posts feature screen shots of dating profiles with women asking members about any red flags about individuals.

Charity Men's Alliance NI has warned character assassinations online can lead to deterioration of mental health.

The page states its aim is to support and empower other women.

The private Facebook page "Are We Dating The Same Guy Belfast/ Derry/ Northern Ireland" has 25,000 members.

It says its purposes range from warning women "about liars and abusers", to being a place to enquire about someone you are dating.

BBC News NI has seen comments which raise serious concerns and allegations about men.

There are also comments about the character of men, their behaviour on dates, their looks, their chat-up lines, all posted along with a picture of them and their name.

'My heart sank'

Jack, not his real name, told BBC News NI, that when he found out he was on the site, posted by a woman asking for information about him, his "heart sank".

"To think that my face and name was posted up for people to comment on without me knowing - it made me paranoid that anything said would be taken as the truth even if it wasn't," he said.

"However, I do realise if used properly that it's there for any females who may have reservations about guys."

Jonny - not his real name- says his mental health has been affected after learning that he had been posted on the group

Another man called Jonny - also not his real name - said he was shocked and disappointed by what had happened.

He added that he had experienced a "distinct lack of confidence" since being discussed online.

"I've been playing it over in my head all day every day. When I was out in Belfast, I was thinking, is that girl looking at me strangely because she saw me on a Facebook page?

"It's not good for mental health. It's annoying this is allowed to go on."

'Like the wild west'

Carey Baxter from the charity the Men's Alliance NI, which supports those who have experienced domestic abuse and provides other services said pages which "bash men or women, are like the wild west".

He said one of his main concerns was the impact that such "character assassinations" would have on men.

"They fear they can't go out on the street, everybody they go past knows their story or what they're accused of and they literally just can't hold their head up in public.

"That has a huge impact on their mental health and it could lead into a deterioration in their mental health to the point where they are considering suicide."

Carey Baxter says strict rules outlined for the social media group are not followed by members

Mr Baxter said it was "really concerning" to see how large the group is.

He added: "The rules are very strict, that I've seen online for this group, about how you're not allowed to mention this or mention that. But from what I understand none of these rules are adhered to within the group."

Calls for better protection online

Joanne Barnes from Nexus, which provides support to victims of domestic and sexual abuse, said regardless of the intention behind the group, it is not the best solution to the problem.

"We need to look at why women are feeling that they have to do this," she told BBC's Evening Extra programme on Friday.

"But we also need women to understand the impact that could potentially have because this is an unmoderated site, or certainly one with low levels moderation."

Ms Barnes said people should also be aware of what they are choosing to post on the page due to risk of defamation, or even civil action.

Initiatives to tackle gender-based violence and online safety should also be introduced in Northern Ireland to protect people, Ms Barnes said.

BBC News NI has contacted the page admin and moderators as well as Facebook at Meta for a response.

If there are concerns about dating behaviours or relationship history the PSNI has said "don't ignore red flags".

Advice from police

Det Supt Lindsay Fisher said: "Whilst the majority of people using online dating sites and apps are doing so with honest intentions, our experiences show us there are people on there who may not be who they say they are or who display sexual predatory behaviour.

"If you are making the decision to meet somebody for the first time face to face, make sure to meet in a public place, make friends and family aware of this meeting and your location and don't be afraid to raise the alarm if something doesn't feel right."

Det Supt Lindsay Fisher says officer will be patrolling high footfall areas looking out for predatory behaviours and safeguarding those presenting as vulnerable

"People's safety is of paramount importance to us so we are keen to hear from anyone who is concerned about the behaviour of someone they are talking to or have met online. We take reports like this incredibly seriously and will carry out a robust investigation to relentlessly pursue potential perpetrators.

"We will also have officers out and about on patrol over the busy festive period, in high footfall areas looking out for predatory behaviours and safeguarding those presenting as vulnerable."

Last year 4,135 people reported sexual violence and abuse to the PSNI, 338 of which, happened in online spaces like some of the popular online dating platforms and other chat apps.

When asked if there had been reports or concerns about this Facebook page, the PSNI said: "We are unable to provide a breakdown of reports of malicious communications relating to specific webpages or online sites."