Mum criticises adoption system after giving up son
- Published
Eleanor Bradford said adoptive parents were not given the support they needed
A mother who adopted a boy seven years ago has told of her "heart-breaking" decision to allow him to be taken back into care.
Eleanor Bradford said she was unable to cope with her teenage son's "extremely challenging" behaviour, which at times deteriorated into criminality.
Ms Bradford said she was "furious" about the complete lack of support for adoptive parents.
She said that foster care would now allow him to access the support needed.
"Had our son been in foster care rather than adopted care he would have received a lot more support that perhaps would have prevented him going back into the care system," she told BBC Scotland's Drivetime programme.
Figures from Adoption UK suggest about 3% to 4% of adoptions break down each year.
They also said three-quarters of adoptive parents struggle to access the support their children required, in some cases to overcome profound challenges.
It said the lack of a central provision of support was "particularly acute" in Scotland.
Ms Bradford, who works in communications in Moray, said that adoption could be a "magical" process and she herself had four or five fantastic years.
Trauma of abuse
But she added that many children in the adoption system were harmed by their birth parents in the form of alcohol abuse, drug abuse and violence, often before they were even born.
She said the trauma of this abuse had an effect on their brains and the children often did not react as you would expect.
"This was the case with our son," Ms Bradford said. She described him as having a lack of empathy and morals.
She said her son was not violent but was "unable to cope with an online world".
Ms Bradford said she and her partner went to great lengths to control his online activity and had parental blocks on his phone usage to avoid "big disasters".
She said he managed to get hold of another phone and immediately used it to gamble online and to do other things that could have got him into serious trouble.
Ms Bradford said there was at least one occasion when he was involved in criminality.
When the strain on her family started to get really severe, she asked for respite care to give them a break but she said this was declined.
Ms Bradford said it suits everyone when the families involved keep quiet out of shame and fear of misunderstanding but when her home life fell apart, support finally became open to her son.
"That is what led us to the heart-breaking decision that he had to go into care," she explained.
"Because we not only needed to access the extra support for him but it was coming to a point where he was putting us at risk and he was putting his younger brother at risk."
'Family destroyed'
She said: "The injustice in the system is that foster carers are entitled to training and support because everyone recognises how challenging they are whereas adoptive parents are not automatically entitled to anything.
"There is no social worker assigned to you to give you advice, there is no training, there is no support and unless you are prepared to pay for that then you get nothing."
Adoption UK's chief executive Sue Armstrong Brown said: "We know that only a very small number of placements breakdown each year - about 3-4% - but each one of these is a tragedy for all involved.
"We also know around three-quarters of adoptive parents struggle to access the support their children need, in some cases to overcome profound challenges. This is something we hear all too often, unfortunately. This is particularly acute in Scotland where there is no central provision for post adoption support
"All too often these families are being failed by a system which invests heavily in the placement of children for adoption, then fades into the background, often with terrible consequences for the children and their adoptive families."
Adoption UK is calling for more adoption support for families, including full assessments of need and funded support plans which are regularly reviewed.
They also want trauma training for teachers and all schools which prioritises the inclusion of care-experienced children.
Adoption UK also called for better diagnosis and support for all children affected by FASD (Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders) and their families, including training for medical, educational and social work professionals.
In February last year, the Independent Care Review said Scotland's care system was failing to give too many children the foundation they need for later life.
Nicola Sturgeon called the review "one of the most important moments" in her time as first minister.
It made "The Promise" to drive forward the programme of change for care-experienced individuals.
In response to Ms Bradford's comments, a Scottish government spokesman said: "The Promise made it clear that adoption has an important role in providing a permanent, loving nurturing home and set out that an adoption placement should not be the conclusion of the support offered to adoptive families.
"All local authorities have a statutory duty to provide support to adoptive families. This approach is supplemented by a Scottish government commitment to invest £500m over the life of this parliament through the Whole Family Wellbeing Fund. This will ensure families can access support where and when they need it."
This year's Adoption UK barometer report, external said that despite the initial report acknowledging the importance there remains no centralised adoption support for Scottish families.
It said adoptive families in Scotland were more likely than families in other parts of the UK to be experiencing significant or severe challenges when contacting their agency for support but least likely to be offered enhanced adoption support.
A spokeswoman for Moray Council said: "Adoption support is available in Moray at any time and can be accessed by contacting the social work department.
"Support is from an experienced team who offer advice and guidance in all areas of adoption, is based in empathy and practical advice, and is delivered on a flexible basis which includes evening and weekend support to fit with adoptive families.
"We attend planning meetings, liaise with education and health professionals, and access other activities and supports for adopted young people and their families from other agencies, signposting to additional supports where that is required."