Bereavement support: Call on Welsh government to offer more to families

The mother of a nine-year-old who died within hours of saying he had a headache has spoken of her heartbreak.

Rhian Grove's son Harvey suffered a brain haemorrhage in August, a month before his 10th birthday.

A debate was held in the Welsh Parliament after a petition called for more grief support in Wales.

There is currently no official support in Wales but the Welsh government said it had launched a national framework for the delivery of bereavement care.

A spokesman said it would be supported by a £1m grant, adding: "Losing a child is devastating and we want to ensure we provide families with the care and support they need."

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Speaking at Harvey's graveside, 38-year-old Mrs Grove admitted there were times when she was an "absolute mess".

"Harvey woke up one morning saying he had a really bad headache and was crying," Mrs Grove, from Neath, said.

"I was in work. My husband knew there was something wrong, so they took him straight for a CT scan, which showed he had a bleed on the brain."

'Utter shock'

Harvey's mum and dad have appealed for much greater support for families who've lost children

The youngster was transferred to Cardiff's University Hospital of Wales to have fluid drained from his brain to ease pressure on it.

"The bleed was worse than they thought, and Harvey passed away the same day," said Mrs Grove.

"It just came out of the blue, and we were all totally shocked because he was such an active and healthy child with no underlying conditions. It was just an utter shock."

Wednesday's Senedd debate comes two years after bereavement charity 2Wish presented a petition on the matter.

Harvey, pictured with mum Rhian and dad Phill before he died suddenly

The organisation has helped Mrs Grove and her family since Harvey's death.

"I dread to think if 2Wish charity hadn't been there to support us," she said.

"They've seen what we've been through and it's almost like they've put their arms around us and said 'OK, this is what we can do to help you'. And you need that support. Especially as we lost Harvey so suddenly."

Mrs Grove said nobody should have to go through what they have without support.

'The worst thing'

"As a mum, it's the worst thing. Harvey was my only child. I've lost him and it's heart-breaking to know these things aren't funded as much as they should be when there's lots of other people in my position," she added.

"Harvey was rock a star, he loved his electric guitar and he loved making music and making videos and playing computer games.

"He was a very lively and energetic little boy. But so kind, loving and caring. Everyone loved him."

Rhian Mannings handed over the petition in November 2019

The 2Wish petition has gathered more than 5,000 signatures, and is calling on the Welsh Parliament to urge the Welsh Government to provide immediate support to families of children aged 25 and under who die suddenly.

There is currently no official bereavement support for these families in Wales - it is all provided by 2wish, which works with all health boards and police forces.

Its support is funded by donations from the public and 2wish receives no public sector financing, although it does receive National Lottery funding.

More than 960 families have received help from the charity since 2015.

'Alone and frightened'

2Wish was set up by Rhian Mannings in 2012 after she and her husband Paul experienced the heartache of losing their baby son George. They left the hospital heartbroken, confused and bewildered with no support. Five days later, Paul took his own life.

Ms Mannings said: "When we lost George, we walked out of the hospital with nothing, alone and frightened.

"Nobody came, nobody reached out to support us, apart from family and friends who were grieving themselves.

"Five days after we lost our son, my husband Paul took his own life. My two other children and I were once again left heartbroken - once again, nobody came. I am determined that this will never happen again to a family in Wales."

One person that will be there to support the petition is Nadine Marshall, whose son Conner was murdered in 2015.

Conner Marshall, from Barry in the Vale of Glamorgan, died following a brutal, unprovoked attack

She said: "2Wish has given us the chance to live with grief in a positive and unique way. We have benefited from alternative therapy, counselling and friendship.

"Meeting other families who are sadly part of a grief-stricken community has been so helpful. Knowing we can reach out at any time is comforting and very much appreciated."

A Welsh government spokesman said: "Over the last two years we have worked with many charities, including 2Wish, as part of our National Bereavement Steering Group to review and improve bereavement services for families across Wales.

"We also held a public consultation to seek people's views. Following this work we have recently launched a new bereavement framework. The new framework sets out the support people should expect to receive if they are facing or have experienced a bereavement.

"The new framework is supported by a £1m Bereavement Support Grant that can be accessed by the third sector. An additional £420k will also be provided to health boards."

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