Welsh memory boxes for people who have lost a baby

Bethan and Rhodri ab Owen hope the boxes "will be a comfort for other Welsh speaking families who face a sudden and terrible loss"

Memory boxes are being made available in Welsh for parents who have lost a child. 

The idea came from Bethan and Rhodri ab Owen, in Cardiff, after they lost their son Steffan in August 2021. 

They said they hoped making the boxes available would be a comfort for other Welsh speaking families "who face a sudden and terrible loss". 

Health boards have been made aware of their availability and a Liverpool hospital has requested some.

"The bag is ready to go, you pack clothes and things like that but you never think that anything will go wrong," said Bethan.

"Steffan was born when I was 39 weeks pregnant.

"It was a normal pregnancy, a happy one, healthy. Everything was normal.

"I was just thinking when will he arrive and what we would do in those first days, but Steffan passed away some two hours after he was born," she told BBC Cymru Fyw.

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She recalled the "special" care they received at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff.

"We were placed in a room that is there for people whose children have died at birth and one of the things that the nurse brought us was this special box." 

There is demand for the Welsh boxes, says the 4Louis charity

Bethan said the boxes were an opportunity for families to create memories.

"You can take a print of the child's hands and feet, to keep a lock of hair and also there are two teddy bears, one for you and one for the child.

"What you can then do is swap the teddies, we have the teddy that was for Steffan and Steffan has the teddy that was given to us. 

"I was very grateful for the box but the content was all in English including the book 'Guess How Much I Love You'. 

"I had bought the Welsh language version of the book before Steffan was born but you don't pack books for your child in your hospital bag. 

"There were so many things that we couldn't do with Steffan but I was able to read to him and what was strange of course was that the book was in English. 

"It was just not something that I would have chosen."

'Difficult'

Rhodri said: "I was then translating in my mind from English to Welsh.

"At that age we wouldn't have read to him in English.

"I translate a lot at work and the vocabulary is so simple in this book but the strain of having to translate under such circumstances was difficult. 

"I felt that I would have been speaking with him in Welsh." 

After receiving donations from family, friends and work colleagues following Steffan's funeral, Bethan and Rhodri bought a specialist cuddle cot for the University Hospital of Wales.

The cot allows families to be with their child for a period of time after their death, whether they die in the hospital or at home. 

Previously there was only one cot of this type available at the hospital.

With some of the leftover money, Rhodri had the idea of creating memory boxes in Welsh which have been available since St David's Day.

The couple also bought a specialist cuddle cot for the University Hospital of Wales

The boxes are produced by the charity 4Louis, which was set up in 2010 after Bob McGurrell, one of the charity's founders, lost his newborn grandson. 

The charity produces some 1,500 memory boxes every month across the UK and said there was already demand for the Welsh language boxes, with one hospital in Liverpool having placed an order. 

The charity said it was in the process of contacting health boards across Wales to make them aware of the boxes.

Bethan added: "I really don't want anyone else to have one of these boxes to be honest but the sad reality is that some people will have to receive them.

"And we are just so glad now that they are available in Welsh because when you are in such a difficult situation getting the right information in your mother tongue is so important."

BBC Action Line has links to organisations providing information and support to people affected by bereavement