Gary Speed's death hard to think about - Osian Roberts

Osian Roberts says the death of his "very close" friend is difficult to think about

Gary Speed's former assistant manager has described how difficult it is to think about the period after his death.

Osian Roberts said he tried to deal with the loss of his "very close" friend "internally".

Speed was the manager of Wales when he took his own life in November 2011, aged 42.

Roberts said a match Wales played as a memorial to Speed following his death was the "hardest game".

"[Speed's death] was a huge loss because I was losing a friend, someone very close," said Roberts, who is currently caretaker manager at the Italian Serie B side Como 1907.

"When that happens, it's a huge shock and I've probably battled with those feelings ever since," Roberts told S4C's Taith Bywyd.

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"I'm a man who likes to prepare for things and this was a period where I couldn't," he added.

"Since then, I've just tried to deal with it internally.

"I'm not sure if it's the right way but that's the way I've tried to deal with it. And at times, it's hard to think about that period of time because we lost a very special man."

Gary Speed won 85 caps for Wales before going on to manage his country

He said the Gary Speed Memorial International Match between Wales and Costa Rica was "the hardest game for me".

"I can't remember anything about the result or the game - the football was secondary that night," he explained.

He recalled former Wales captain Ashley Williams coming to him at half time and saying: "Osh, I can't run. I can't feel my legs."

"The boys, psychologically, were gone," Roberts added.

Edward and Thomas Speed with Wales striker Craig Bellamy ahead of the Gary Speed Memorial International Match between Wales and Costa Rica

"I remember Gary's father coming to me before the game and asking 'Osh, can Ed and Tommy [Speed's sons] come in and speak to the players before the game?'

"And Ed spoke to the players in the changing room saying, 'This is what my Dad wanted, he's so proud of you.'

He said the players were "in tears in the changing room".

"It was such an emotional night, and my only goal was to at least make sure that the family felt it was a night that Gary would've been proud of."

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