It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: How Rob McElhenney's hit show could influence Wrexham
- Published
With the news that Hollywood stars Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney have successfully taken over Wrexham comes the inevitable question of just how the duo might bring their special brand of charm to the National League football club?
While headlines might understandably focus on Deadpool mega-star Reynolds as the source of change, it's actually sitcom creator McElhenney who brings uniquely bizarre opportunities to spice up the world of football.
Having donated £6,000 to adapt a disabled Dragons fan's home, McElhenney has already proved his commitment to improving the lives and experiences of those in and around the club.
And from questionable branding partnerships to half-time musical numbers, he could draw from his cult favourite series It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia to bring just a hint of the show's core gang to north Wales.
Here are just a few of their outlandish storylines and memorable moments he can draw inspiration from.
Open up Paddy's Pub in Wrexham:
Where else to begin than the epicentre of the show, the home of all Dennis (Glenn Howerton), Charlie (Charlie Day), Mac (McElhenney), Dee (Kaitlin Olson) and Frank's (Danny DeVito) plans, scams and schemes - Paddy's Pub.
Owned and run by the gang, the bar would be the obvious addition for fans to come together and enjoy a drink before heading into the ground. Be warned though, service is often slow or even non-existent and the owners might not respond well to complaints.
Once dubbed the worst bar in Philadelphia by a local reviewer, he was subsequently kidnapped… along with his cat and neighbour.
Mac to head up security at the Racecourse Ground:
Donning his beloved duster, Mac would occupy every entrance to the ground at once, providing 'ocular pat-downs', external of everyone entering the ground on matchdays to ensure maximum safety, using a unique style of advanced karate to neutralise any threat.
In practice his methods aren't so watertight. His porous techniques often land the gang in trouble, with a host of high-school students taking advantage of no ID checks on the door in Underage Drinking: A National Concern, while Mac and the rest of the guys are taken hostage by disgruntled family the McPoyles in The Gang Gets Held Hostage.
It might be wise to keep things how they are for the time being.
Green Man as the club's mascot:
When Charlie's not scrubbing toilets, getting blackout drunk or bashing rats in the basement, he can often be found dancing around in his full-body morph suit as Green Man.
Pros: Highly entertaining and has prior (unofficial) experience as a mascot.
Cons: Can be irrational and aggressive to fellow professionals. Once started a fight with the Philly Frenetic, mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies baseball team before the World Series.
Options for a new kit sponsor:
Okay this one is particularly unlikely, as anyone who has seen the club's viral unveiling of their new co-owners will know. McElhenney and Reynolds took the opportunity to plug the club's current shirt sponsors several times as they set to work endearing themselves to the fans.
But it's always good to have backup options - and Wrexham certainly now have some. Viewers of the show will be well aware of the various shady shell corporations set up under Frank's Fluids.
Firstly, Wolf Cola - a drink first referenced in Sweet Dee Gets Audited - eloquently described by Dennis as "the right cola for closure". The appealing logo would certainly pop off Wrexham's home shirt, but the drink's links to a terrorist organisation (Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare) make this a 'no' all round.
Then there's Fight Milk, the "first alcoholic, dairy-based drink by bodyguards, for bodyguards". Created by Mac and Charlie using crow eggs, milk and vodka, the drink enjoyed a period of commercial success as UFC fighters became aware of the effects.
However, Mac and Charlie were disappointed to find that instead of helping them to pack on muscle mass, they in fact used it as a way to intensely lose weight as their bodies reject the rancid drink. Whatever the new owners decide, they won't rush to supply it to the players.
Stress balls, kitten mittens and… Wrexham thongs?
Duvet sets, posters, coffee mugs, cuddly toys and of course replica kits - merchandise is a key revenue driver for football clubs around the world. At Paddy's they take a slightly different approach to merchandising, focusing solely on the things people of Philadelphia (and potentially Wrexham) really need.
In Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens, the gang become embroiled in a war between themselves to come up with and patent the most marketable products. Cue the madness.
First up, Frank's "stress ball", perfect to have on your desk on a high-pressure day at work. Painted green in Paddy's colours (red for Wrexham), they appear harmless enough. Just don't try to use one, as you'll almost definitely end up covered in exploding raw egg.
Then there's the Wrexham thong, inspired by Dennis' Paddy's thong - created as a gift for male customers to purchase for their partners. Never made it past the prototype stage and didn't look particularly fashionable so might not be the biggest seller.
And finally we come to Charlie's kitten mittens - literally exactly what they say on the tin. Is your cat causing too much noise? Is your cat constantly stomping around, driving you crazy? Is your cat constantly clawing at your furniture? Think there's no answer? You're so stupid, there is - kitten mittens.
Finally, there's an elegant, comfortable mitten for cats… Charlie certainly found a gap in the market with this unusual idea, though whether it was a gap that needed filling is anyone's guess.
However, he did manage to find a buyer for the idea at a merchandising convention, but his illiteracy was once again his downfall as a lawyer, who was owed money by the gang, tricked him into signing away the rights to the mittens and with it a restraining order against him.
Mac did swiftly eat the contract but, bizarrely, there were more copies. Purchasing the rights for Wrexham kitten mittens is unlikely to be a goer.
Eagles of War entrance for the players:
It's important to remember who this is all for - the fans. What better way to get the crowd on their feet in the Racecourse Ground, when spectators are allowed back in, than a rousing entrance from the players.
Stolen directly from The Gang Wrestles for the Troops, where Mac, Dennis, Charlie and Frank rent a local community hall to put on a wrestling show in aid of US troops on tour, the guys enter as the Birds of War, donning beaks and feathers, carefully choreographed to a meticulous, bird-themed routine.
This may not have the desired effect at Wrexham, as Mac, Dennis and Charlie found out, as one false move and you come crashing down from Eagles of War to plain pigeon boys.
Half-time entertainment:
From a pre-prom party, to a youth pageant, to a talent show, to a screening of their homemade movie Lethal Weapon 5, the gang has a wealth of experience in the amateur entertainment industry. Their most standout performance came in The Nightman Cometh, a rock opera written by Charlie as an elaborate proposal to his long-term love interest the Waitress.
The story follows a young boy who is visited by the evil Nightman to then grow up and become the Dayman in the production's final scene. Can't see how she didn't go for that one...
Could McElhenney call on these creative bar owners to liven up the crowd to a fever pitch ahead of a crucial second half in a potential promotion push? What true football fan wouldn't love that instead of disappearing into Paddy's for a half-time pint?!
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