Celtic: Erik Sviatchenko on Scott Brown, Celtic and sending art to old team-mates
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Erik Sviatchenko said Scott Brown was the 'fines minister' at Celtic
Erik Sviatchenko can still vividly recall the day Scott Brown charged him £600 to go to the toilet. Perhaps a little too vividly.
The scene was the Celtic team hotel in an industrial estate just outside of Glasgow when nature came calling for the big Danish defender. So, too, did his captain. The club's "fine minister".
"Normally we would go for a walk first but I'd misunderstood," explains Sviatchenko in mitigation.
"I was there for a couple of minutes then I thought we would have our pre-match meal, but they had gone for a walk first. I can remember that Kris Ajer and Stuart Armstrong were doing this 'quickly, quickly, quickly'.
"I knew Scott Brown had seen me turning up late and then there was obviously a fine. I thought it was much higher than it was so when I said to him, 'OK, I know that I was late, I'll pay £600', he said immediately, 'yeah, OK, let's do that'.
"Six months later I figured out the fine was only £150."
The punishment for his effervescence is justified by Sviatchenko. He laughs as he claims that the money went to a "great cause". A follow-up question over charity donations is quickly corrected to point out he means a kitty for the team night out.
It was just one of a host of tales the 29-year-old holds close as he watches from afar while Celtic's 10-in-a-row juggernaut splutters short of reaching its final destination.
The centre-half, now playing for Midtjylland, spent two years in Glasgow from 2016, first brought in by Ronny Deila, only to play a part in the swashbuckling invincible season under his successor Brendan Rodgers.
It was a hedonistic and dominant campaign for all concerned and one that now seems a lifetime ago amid a Rangers title-induced malaise.
"I remember every year there was talking about the next title, the next or the next," he told BBC Scotland. "People couldn't even even ask the question. Is this possible? Or is this even possible that we won't do it? Because there was no competitor.
"Suddenly Rangers really, really took some steps and moved up and we saw it first hand as well with Midtjylland, when we played Rangers in the European play-offs [losing 7-3 over two legs in 2019 Europa League qualifier].
"It's so difficult to keep on going and have all the players, all the staff do the same thing every single day, which has been done for so many years. And then suddenly, you have a team who has experienced a really, really good run of form of games, and they're developing quite quickly.
"It can be coincidental and it just happens to be in the worst timing of timings."
'He asked me to be captain... I hope he gets the job'
It is only in the middle of a haze of defensive combustion that you see that Sviatchenko's latter moments at Celtic were perhaps viewed unfairly.
The rise of Ajer, the command of a young Dedryck Boyata and the imposing figure of Jozo Simunovic meant game time was hard to find for the Denmark international, who was loaned out to Midtjylland halfway through Rodgers' second season.
While on the periphery back then, one is allowed to wonder what Celtic would have given for him during a myriad of suspect defensive moments this season.
The future for Celtic is as uncertain as it has been this century. At best, a sustained era of domination has been temporarily suspended. At worst? A new one across the city has been sworn in, with a radical overhaul on and off the pitch needed at Parkhead to prevent it escalating.
Yet, Sviatchenko believes the answer to his old side's coach conundrum is staring them in the face.
"I hope John Kennedy gets his chance," he said of the current Celtic caretaker. "We had a really close relationship. He was always there to ask how you were feeling but also on the football side of it, always trying to improve you.
"He was also the one who came to me and said, 'Erik, we need someone to wear the captain's armband' as Scott Brown was injured. He said to me, 'I think you can do this for us,' and I captained the team once, which I'm proud of.
"He has so much experience from the coaching side, even though he hasn't been the main man, but he knows so much about football also on the mental side of it - being there, trying it with his own body to play at the highest level and with the club as well. I only have good, positive things to say about him."
The Dane captained Celtic against St Johnstone in 2016
Chatting to Andy Robertson & buying paintings for Stuart Armstrong
Now settled back in his homeland, reminders of Scotland are never too far away for Sviatchenko, whose wife Anne also played for Celtic during their time in Glasgow.
A Champions League tie with Liverpool last year led to a chat with Scotland captain Andy Robertson about the World Cup qualifying campaign, with their two respective nations in the same group. It is a level the man with five caps still holds aspirations of reaching once again.
But it is his love of the arts that helps to bind him with those he grew close with at Celtic, particularly Scotland and Southampton midfielder Armstrong.
When he first arrived in Scotland in 2016, it was clear Sviatchenko was not quite cut from the same stuff as your average Nandos-guzzling, PlayStation-plonking footballer. His opening press conference drifted to talk of his fashion blog,, external his passion for photography or the work of his Ukrainian artist father.
It was agreed by all in attendance at the time that these were pursuits unlikely to strike a chord with the fines minister.
"My good friend Stuart Armstrong, who I still speak with often, actually bought a painting from my father. So a little bit of introduction to that world succeeded," he added.
"I have also been sending a lot of work to Stuart and I visited him in his house in Edinburgh, and I could see that he had hung up the artwork. A little bit of inspiration is always good."
As long as it doesn't cost you £600.