FA Cup: The former footballer setting up a mental health hub after his father's death
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Romulus academy manager and Hednesford Town assistant boss Graham Deakin (left) with former West Ham and England forward Carlton Cole
"I look at my dad and think 'that was a proper man'. He was someone who was there for his family and devoted his life to his kids. I see him as a hero."
Graham Deakin is recalling the time his father, also called Graham, used to drive him to training when he was on the books of Blackburn Rovers and Leicester City as a schoolboy.
He remembers too the time Graham Sr proudly watched him play for Walsall against Manchester United in a pre-season friendly before consoling the 18-year-old after missing a penalty on his senior debut for the Saddlers at Swansea.
More recently the much-loved father, husband and grandad was a regular spectator at Keys Park, home of Staffordshire non-league club Hednesford Town, where his son has been assistant manager since 2020.
Life changed forever for Deakin, his mother Deborah, brother Kieran and sister Hayley three months ago.
Graham Sr died on 5 May from injuries after attempting to take his own life two weeks earlier. He was 57.
"It has broken us as a family," Deakin tells BBC Sport.
Middle-aged men are more likely to die by suicide than any other age group, according to Samaritans., external
Former midfielder Deakin, 35, is now helping set up a mental health hub in his dad's honour for men to discuss their problems with others.
"The way the world is at the moment and the cost of living crisis, sadly there are going to be more and more people who cannot cope," adds Deakin, who is also academy manager at Birmingham non-league club Romulus, who host Halesowen Town in the preliminary round of the FA Cup on Saturday.
"The reason I am doing this is to try and prevent someone else experiencing the pain and heartache we have gone through as a family.
"If it helps one other person, it will have been worth it."
Former Walsall player Graham Deakin (front) with his dad, brother Kieran and sister Hayley
'My heart sank'
Graham Sr had paid off the mortgage of the home he shared in Erdington, Birmingham, with Deborah, his wife of 35 years, while the couple had money in the bank and enjoyed up to three holidays abroad a year.
"It was not always like that. They had nothing to start with but dad worked hard," says Deakin, known in local footballing circles as Deakz.
The couple had discussed exciting plans for the future and the possibility of spending their retirement years abroad living by the sea.
Six months before his death, Graham Sr lost his job as a refrigeration engineer at a company where he had worked for 29 years.
"He had two other jobs after that and wasn't quite the same," adds Deakin. "For 29 years, he had his routine and that suddenly ended.
"Looking back, maybe that has played a part but he never said anything to us. There were no real signs of what was about to happen until perhaps the last week when he looked a little bit down."
Graham Sr died of his injuries at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham.
"I don't want to go into details about how he ended his life," adds Deakin. "Getting the news he was in the hospital, I was totally shocked and my heart sank. We were with him for his last moments."
'I was proud to have him as my dad'
Since his father's death, Deakin has linked up with Sport Against Suicide - a non-profit organisation that educates people in sport about important skills of wellbeing.
Founder Tara Hancock has already given a talk to Deakin's 16-19 year old group at Romulus and will be visiting Hednesford, where former Premier League striker Leroy Lita, 37, plays.
"I like to teach my young players life skills. I think this will also benefit older players who are preparing to retire from playing and are coming out of a familiar routine," says Deakin.
"Once routine ends or is disrupted, that's when people struggle the most.
"Tara was brilliant. If I had seen some of those signs she spoke about, I could have spotted something with dad."
In addition to linking up with Sport Against Suicide, Deakin is preparing to launch a hub in the West Midlands where men who are struggling can meet.
He has set up a fundraising page, external with former Walsall players Wayne Thomas and Karl Hawley to get the facility open in October.
"We are not counsellors. We just want to create a safe space where men can come if they are struggling at home or work," adds Deakin.
"They can have a bit of food, talk and watch football on television. There will be activities too like early morning walks.
"I am doing it to try make my dad proud because I was proud to have him as my dad."
Graham Deakin Sr was a Walsall fan and watched his son make his senior debut for the Saddlers at Swansea in 2006
'I don't want anyone to go through this'
Fifteen weeks have passed since Graham Sr died.
"My mum is 60 this year and she is heartbroken," says Deakin. "She visits the gardens of remembrance at the crematorium and sits there for hours.
"Dad did everything for her. He sorted the bills, the direct debits, the online banking. They raised a family and they should be enjoying their time together.
"I have my moments. I'll be driving my car or doing work on the laptop and I will just start crying.
"It is still very raw. As hard as it is to talk about it, I don't want anyone else to go through it."
If you, or someone you know, have been affected by any issues raised in this article, support and information is available at BBC Action Line.
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