Michael Murphy: Ex-Donegal captain reveals how 'fear' helped drive his decision to retire
- Published
National Football League Division One: Monaghan v Armagh |
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Venue: Castleblayney, Monaghan Date: Saturday, 28 January Throw-in: 18:30 GMT |
Coverage: Watch live on BBC iPlayer and BBC Sport website (Michael Murphy joins Thomas Niblock on commentary): match report & highlights on BBC Sport website |
Donegal great Michael Murphy has revealed how fear of not having the energy to maintain his high standards played a major role in his decision to retire from inter-county football.
The 33-year-old former All-Ireland-winning captain said it was difficult to admit, but that a diminishing drive was a factor in him not believing he could find the energy levels required.
Three-time All Star Murphy announced in November that he was quitting the county game, with Donegal describing him as a "colossus".
"Energy is a big one, it's massive," he told The GAA Social when asked about his reasons for retiring.
"I was very fortunate throughout every one of my years to be able to give absolutely everything. I know not everybody can, they have so many things in life.
"Every year you go back, you're back with the same group of lads, you're driving things on every single night. That is the kind of way I was brought up, it's the way I did it. I don't know if it was the right way of doing it, who knows, but it was the way I was comfortable in doing it.
"There is a certain degree of energy you need to say 'I've played inter-county football'. That is great for some and it is great for many but, for me, it was more than that. I needed to win.
"That is where I decided I just wasn't able to get there again. I feared not being able to get there again, to be honest. I couldn't have sat around being just an inter-county player.
"I probably would have had the ability this year to do that, in terms of just clinging on and doing things, but not doing them to the same levels - and that would not have been any good to anybody, to Donegal, my team-mates or myself. I would have been a disaster to be around."
'The horrible answer you don't want to give is hunger'
Murphy captained Donegal to All-Ireland success in 2012, with the Glenswilly forward also winning five Ulster Senior Football championships, including back-to-back triumphs in 2018 and 2019.
Asked why, at 33, he felt he did not have the energy to continue playing, the forward admitted it is difficult to explain.
"Age, drive maybe," responded Murphy, who says he is content with his decision to retire.
"The very blunt, horrible answer that you don't want to give as a man is hunger. Maybe that drive and hunger diminished. Maybe it did or maybe that is not the right word to use but it diminished around that time of making that decision. I felt it myself.
"I would have been the one phoning up the boys to get ready for getting back in for training and that didn't happen in me [ahead of this current new season]. That was another reason why I knew the time was right."
Decision was '95% made' after Armagh defeat in June
Murphy announced his decision to retire from inter-county football in November, a few weeks after Paddy Carr was appointed as former manager Declan Bonner's replacement.
He was keen to stress that him quitting had absolutely nothing to do with the new boss, explaining that he has had positive conversations with Carr and promised he would be supporting the team as a fan.
Indeed, Murphy revealed that he was "95%" sure that he was going to quit after Donegal's heavy defeat by Armagh at Clones in the second round of All-Ireland qualifiers in June - a match that would prove to be his final one for his county.
"No matter who the manager was, my decision was made that day in Clones," he explained.
"It was 95% made, put it that way. It was a big one and in the days and months after that I was giving myself time to be fully, fully sure. Every morning I woke up I thought 'right, has anything in my head changed around it?' But nothing did.
"If anything it became stronger, I became more comfortable with the decision. I started to make plans to take the Glenswilly Minors again next year. I knew I would be able to do that because I wouldn't be playing. I then made the decision more public."
And, while some may not have noticed it at the time, there was a clear sign immediately after the loss to Armagh that that game could be the Donegal captain's last.
"I didn't go home on the team bus which was a rare one.
"Being involved with teams, being a captain and even as coach of a few, it is one of the things I would be fairly savage about - 'you go together, you come back together', that kind of thing. That day I just knew it was done.
"My parents would always be outside after every game and I'd generally give my bag to one of them, get on to the bus and away I'd go. They were there that day and I just said that I was going to head back with them.
"It was interesting. Even that action would say to me and say to them, without saying it to them on the day, that something was up. I'd never done it in 16 years."