With that dreadful pun and this wonderful shot of Chris losing his head on the golf course, I will bid you farewell.

But not before pointing you in the direction of our live text and radio coverage of Manchester United's Champions League play-off against Club Brugge. You can find that here.

Thanks again for your company and your excellent sporting fails today. See you tomorrow bright and early...

Not long to go now...

Not sure how his Manchester City team-mates will feel about his, but Yaya Toure has picked a rather Barcelona-stuffed dream five-a-side team on the club's website. 

Take a look at his selections here., external

Image source, Getty Images

West Ham forward Enner Valencia has said sorry, external for a radio interview in which he claimed he was "not being supported" by the club over his current injuries.

The Ecuadorian striker hurt his right knee and ankle against Astra Giurgiu in the Europa League earlier this month, and reportedly said he was considering leaving London, external to see a doctor outside the club.

Image source, Getty Images

But in a later statement, he said: "I would like to make clear that I have the utmost respect and confidence in the Club’s medical team and the specialists I was referred to and I would like to apologise to them and the Club for any issues arising from the recent press coverage."    

It's easy to forget that football can be considered the day job for many players. So, just what other strings have they got to their bows? BBC Sportshour have been taking a look. Who knew Arjan De Zeeuw was also a crime fighter?

Image source, Getty Images

Kyle Edmundis through to the second round of qualifying for the US Open, beating Poland's Peter Polansky 6-3 6-4.

The 20-year-old is aiming to make his debut at the tournament, the only major he has yet to make a full senior appearance at.

Image source, Reuters

Everyone remembers their first football kit (Peter Shilton's yellow keeper top with padded shoulder patches, Italia '90).

But which one can be considered 'the best'? Well, the Daily Record, external has listed a top 10 decided by industry experts. There are some crackers - and a controversial winner. For English readers, anyway.

Image source, Getty Images

QPR defender Jamie Sendles-White is on his way to Hamilton having been released by the R's in the summer after failing to make a first-team appearance.

It marks two signings in 24 hours for Hamilton following the acquisition of forward Alex D'Acol from AEK Athens.

Louis van Gaal's side go into their second leg Champions League play-off tie against Club Brugge with a comfortable 3-1 aggregate lead under their belt.

Goals from new signing Memphis Depay did the damage at Old Trafford, along with a third from Marouane Fellaini.

Club Brugge, however, are unbeaten in 10 European home games, winning six and drawing four. 

Image source, Getty Images

Tottenham are in talks with Inter Milan over a move back to Italy for midfielder Erik Lamela, the Independent, external reports.

Spurs are thought to want £20m for the former Roma playmaker but the paper claims the two clubs are still "some way apart in negotiations".

Image source, empics

AC Milan have revealed they have inserted a good behaviour clause into the contract of Mario Balotelli, which includes banning extravagant haircuts and clothing and committing him to a healthy lifestyle. 

Why, it's as if they don't trust him...

Image source, EPA

According to Italian sports daily Gazzetta dello Sport, external, Balotelli - who has joined on a season-long loan from Liverpool - must not damage the image of the club and his Twitter, Facebook and Instagram posts will be closely monitored.

He will be banned from extravagant haircuts and clothing, from smoking and from visiting night clubs and must turn up on time from training.

Fancy a quick quiz? Our CBBC colleagues have taken a fun twist on Greg Rutherford's achievements at the World Athletics Championships by asking you to judge just how far he covered with his gold medal-winning jump this week.

The width of a badminton court? Over Peter Crouch?! You decide...

Bastian Schweinsteiger looks ready for tonight's match. Either that or he's doing his best Jonny Wilkinson impression.

Australian rider Caleb Ewan has captured victory on the fifth stage of the Vuelta a Espana with a sprint finish.

The debutant, who rides for Orica Greenedge, crossed the line ahead of favourites John Degenkolb (Giant-Alpecin) and Peter Sagan (Tinkoff-Saxo).

Image source, Getty Images

We couldn't have said it better ourselves, Chris...

Tweet us now at #mysportingfail or post on the  BBC Sport Facebook page., external

Jason Day has pulled out of this week's US PGA tour event after tweaking his back.

His trainer says the Australian withdrew from the Wednesday pro-am at Plainfield Country Club because of a long-standing disc issue. 

Image source, EPA

Manchester United's striking options have been the talk of the pre-match build-up so far, thanks mainly to the inclusion of Marouane Fellaini. 

On a wet night in Bruges it could prove to be a masterstroke though, the big man being well capable of making life very difficult for tiring defenders in the latter stages.

In his news conference, manager Louis van Gaal said the Belgian is likely to feature up front more often: "This year he'll be more a number nine or 10 than at six or eight."

Image source, Getty Images

Defender Fabio Coentrao has joined Monaco from Real Madrid on a season-long loan.

The Portuguese left-back will have a medical on Thursday.

Image source, Reuters

That's all from Ronald Koeman. Some question marks still remain over the health of both Sadio Mane and Victor Wanyama, the latter falling foul of a stomach bug, the former struggling with a hip injury.

In terms of Thursday's match against FC Midtjylland, "win ugly" could be the modus operandi. Watch this space.

Image source, Getty Images

Focus now turning to Thursday's game...