If you're still here, I commend you. As you might have guessed, the game has has been abandoned, washed out - a great shame for all connected with Cricket Ireland.
Our next live action will be on 21 May at Lord's, for England's first Test against New Zealand. Stick with us between now and then, though, it could be a lively couple of weeks in English cricket.
Right, it seems like we're unlikely to get any cricket for some time, so I am going to take my leave for a little while. Keep listening to TMS, where they have assembled a journalists panel to discuss the future of Peter Moores.
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The DJ is playing Whiskey In The Jar. When it rains, the DJ really has to earn his money. He's set for a day of only playing tunes between overs, perhaps when a wicket falls too. When there's a delay, he has to go through the whole record collection.
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Stephen: "Home nations" style tournament involving Scotland even better idea. ECB not interested in helping development.
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Next to no-one in the stands now, they've seen the iceberg. Can't imagine we'll be having play for quite some time.
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Alan Lewis
Former Ireland batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Ireland have had an established team for some time, but what would be great would be if they had 18 players pressing for selection. That would keep every player on their toes."
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Matt Weekes: Shame weathers stopped play, it's a great opportunity for the young players to show what there made of, especially Jason Roy.
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Even fewer people in the stands now, which tells me that the rain is set for a while. I wonder how busy the barstaff are.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I remember Finn taking 6-100 in the Ashes a couple of years ago. He went for a few runs and almost got criticised because he had gone for too many runs. I understand that because England's ethos at that stage was to be very controlled and disciplined. But look at Australia when they had Brett Lee. He just ran in and bowled fast and took wickets. Steven has a lot to offer England. He should be told to go out there bowl fast and if you for a few we don't mind."
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Nick Ball: Excellent idea on TMS, why not make the ODIs at the end of the summer a tri-series including Ireland?
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There's a couple of unfortunate members of security staff being asked to stand in the middle, guarding the square. What from, I'm not sure. The stands are emptying.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"It was an indifferent start from Mark Wood, trying to find his feet. He can swing the ball at good pace and he is an exciting prospect. Conditions today could really show his credentials and I thought Steven Finn was impressive.
"He has had a bit of criticism recently, but he is tall and can bowl in this 90mph area."
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Alan Lewis
Former Ireland batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"This was one window for the game that England had because they are playing seven ODIs at the back end of the year.
"If Ireland could come into the arena of a three-team triangular series that would be a wonderful way of having the same amount of cricket but getting them involved. It wouldn't be a reward for Ireland but it would bring more interest into those games."
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David Gibson: Village cricketers have sympathy with England and Ireland. You spend all week getting a side together then it rains!!
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More sheets coming on.
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If this match is abandoned or heavily affected by the weather (that's premature chat at the moment, but I'm just throwing it out there), you can't help but feel sorry for all those connected with Cricket Ireland. They get precious few of these big fixtures and it would be a great shame to see it washed out.
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Adam Rogers: The England top order today is probably better than the one we had in the World Cup, and its supposed to be our reserve team?
Antman01: Why is Bresnan in this England side? That is not thinking of the future. England's baffling selection continues.
Mike Ball: Would like to see this England ODI team stay the same for a little while. Give the young guys a chance to show what they can do.
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There are huge, white sheets covering the square and the bowlers' run-ups. The rain isn't heavy enough to drive every soul from the stands, but they breed them tough in Ireland. The outfield started wet and might not take much more water.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"It was obviously a very important toss. You like to see a day like we had two years ago when we had an even contest but in these conditions it is going to be a real struggle for Ireland.
"James Taylor comes across as a very nice fellow. He is an energetic batsman and has done very well for himself. He was one of the success stories for England from a poor World Cup."
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That's all a little disappointing isn't it? The 18 overs we've had were quite-action packed, with this new-look England attack performing well. Ireland, on the other hand, have disappointed with the bat.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"We only had nine home games between 2009 and 2015 so they are really treasured occasions. It is such a depressing sight and it is the classic fear I have before any of these big games."
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Dave Hansford: Really like the look of this England team. Poses a lot of questions for the established line-up. Unleash the talent.
Kyle McGrath: England still a closed shop. James Harris (Middlesex) gets nine wickets in an innings, still behind Finn lobbing them down in the early 80s.
Rain stops play
Ire 56-4
And that is your lot. Comically, umpire Ian Ramage removed his hat and looked surprised, as if his headgear was sheltering him from the wet stuff. The players trudge off, the covers come on. How long before we see cricket again?
Ire 56-4
The rain is falling heavier now, with noticeable drops falling past the umpire's black hat. Still Finn, still an Irish struggle, spectators pulling on those see-through ponchos you're given at the log-flume. Another maiden, umpires to have a chat. In two overs, we'll have had 20, which would constitute an Ireland innings.
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Chris Parker: Ireland had a good winter but they still have a long way to go, such a naive performance so far.
Duncan Mitchell: This England team would have done alright at the World Cup.
Ire 56-4 (Willey 4-1-17-1)
David Willey is rewarded for plugging away on a full length and keeps on that for the final two balls of his over to new man Gary Wilson, the very good Surrey batsman. Replays highlight just what a good catch it was by Jason Roy, his leap was goalkeeper-style. Decent stuff from new-look England.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"That's the value of wickets as England have been able to keep their close catchers in and it was a very good catch from Jason Roy. Now Ireland are back in some bother. Balbirnie chased a wide one, as Niall O'Brien had done. Ireland have their backs to the wall so this will be a very important phase."
WICKET
Balbirnie c Roy b Willey 5 (Ire 53-4)
What a catch! Jason Roy, take a bow. Andrew Balbirnie, he of the off-stump flash in the previous David Willey over, gets a thick edge towards Roy at second slip, with the Surrey man lunging to his right to take a very good snaffle above his head. That's a first England wicket for Willey, too. Another loose Ireland shot, the hosts not getting to grips with the conditions. They might fall before rain can save them.
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Ric Ellinger: How much is Tim Bresnan's impressive bowling today down to the fact that he has been bowling regularly for Yorkshire this season? 114 over and 14 wickets in 3 matches.
Ire 48-3 (5 runs in last 5 overs)
That's an absolute rozzer from Finn, nipping away from Balbirnie, who would need a bat the size of a door to get an edge. Cold, wet, bit in the deck, ball all over bat. The only down side about being in the field at the moment is that you're actually outside, rather than the warmth of the dressing room. Still, England are buzzing about, keeping warm. As long as the weather holds, they have a real chance here.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"There is big pressure on Ed Joyce. We need someone to go on and get a sizeable score of at least 60 or 70. It was a very good toss for England to win, but to be fair to them they have started very well.
"He looks very comfortable, everything is hitting the middle of the bat and it is always a joy to watch him play. He is one of the great gentlemen of the game. He is Ireland's Michael Hussey."
Ire 47-3 (Joyce 21, Balbirnie 1)
I say Ireland are trying to resist, but Balbirnie's flat-footed waft at Willey is the shot of man attempting to fall on his sword. No tickle, but close. This is good from Willey, not flashy, but camped on a good area, not distracted by the rotation of strike between right and left-hander. Amidst the Irish struggle, Ed Joyce is looking reasonably unflappable. Plenty on him now.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"Whenever big-time cricket is in Ireland you are always looking at the forecast. But the forecast is not good so how much more cricket will we have, who knows?
"The most important thing for Ireland is to establish a partnership, the last thing they want to do is lose another wicket."
It's raining
Ire 44-3
Steven Finn, a man who was chastened by Brendon McCullum at the World Cup, is into the attack as rain begins to fall. More umbrellas, groundtsaff at the ready, umpires exchanging shifty glances. Finn not at top pace, but bowling good areas. Another maiden, the second in a row. England treading on Irish throats at the moment, home side trying to resist.
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Charlie: Been raining steadily here in the Comeragh Mountains County Waterford for the last couple of hours. Afraid it may be heading your way.
Ire 44-3 (Joyce 19, Balbirnie 0)
Still Willey, a lengthy, angled run-up. He delivers the ball from a low trajectory, looking for some shape away from the left-handed Joyce on a full length. Under a sky that remains dark, sends down a maiden on a decent off-stump line. Colin Graves, the man who has promised/threatened an inquiry, is in the posh bit. Can't confirm if he's quaffing anything or not.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"Tim Bresnan has put batsmen under pressure and they are not sure whether to play it or leave it."
Ire 44-3 (Bresnan 6-2-11-1)
I said Bresnan's action didn't look too different and it isn't, but his position on the crease is definitely closer to the stumps. On his return to the side, he's bowling well and twice rattles new man Andrew Balbirnie on the pads. There's a few more umbrellas up, but England might fancy beating the rain too.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"It's disappointing. In these occasions as a batsman you have to recognise that Tim Bresnan is the experienced campaigner and sit tight and just pick up runs at the other end.
"Niall O'Brien seemed in a hurry, but it was a very loose shot. There is now a lot of pressure on Andrew Balbirnie."
WICKET
N O'Brien c Vince b Bresnan 10 (Ire 44-3)
Ireland are in danger of falling in a heap here. The third wicket goes down and the Irish have had a hand in all three downfalls. This time it's Niall O'Brien, almost dislocating his shoulders as he looks to give a wideish one from Tim Bresnan the beans. The left-hander can only get a thick edge to first slip, where James Vince gathers it in the bread basket. England well on top.
Debutant Mark Wood gives way to debutant David Willey, a left-arm seamer from Northants who also has a first-class batting average of 28. As I said, dad Peter is there. Would they feature in a Father & Son XI? The blond Willey skates in, hitting 80mph, but drops short to allow Joyce a pull for four. There's umbrella up in the crowd, but possibly in error. The wind has blown it inside out. Someone feeling foolish underneath.
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Jon Amor: Real chance here for some youngsters/fringe players to really show what they are about against a rising nation.
Si Lomas: So Sam Billings arguably the most exciting of all of them gets left out for the already tried Jonny Bairstow, typical England.
Philip Mulligan: As a Northants Steelbacks fan, I'm very happy to see David Willey make his England debut. Real prospect for the future.
Ire 37-2 (Joyce 13, O'Brien 9)
I tell you what, it's all happening. Another Ireland single as the ball drops at the batsman's feet, another Jonny Bairstow shy at the stumps. This time, the flame-haired keeper misses and there's no-one backing-up. Why is it that overthrows always bring such a huge cheer? They are the equivalent of someone dropping a glass in the pub. Is there anywhere else in the world where a smashed glass is greeted by a cheer? Anyway, powerplay done.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"I thought James Taylor may have been more aggressive with his field placings from the start, especially with the weather conditions. Niall O'Brien loves the big occasion, and loves to get the bat on ball early on."
Dropped catch
33-2
Ireland should be three down and Mark Wood should have a second international wicket. New man Niall O'Brien the batsman, another flash outside off stump, flying to gully where Alex Hales shelled the chance. The Notts man really should have taken that above his head. Either side, O'Brien pulls two boundaries, one of which is greeted by The Only Way Is Up. Was that Yazz or Yazoo?
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OptaJim on Twitter: England have named five debutants in an ODI team for the first time since 1996, v Pakistan at Old Trafford.
Ire 23-2
The Porterfield dismissal was indicative of a slow-wicket, but Wood's pace has been good, nudging 90mph. What's this, have England got another? Bresnan to Joyce, a little tickle? Looks good and England can't believe it's not been given. No DRS, so no review. I tell you what, umpire Mark Hawthorne has got that spot on, it flicked the back pad. Well done, sir.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"After scoring seven off 20 balls, it was getting to Porterfield and you could see he was trying to get Mark Wood away. Porterfield was trying to force it and it can be tough as an opening batsman as you want to get some runs going and get some fours. But it is tough, especially when the wicket is slow."
WICKET
Porterfield b Wood 7 (Ire 23-2)
Bowled him! A first international wicket for Mark Wood, with his exploration of William Porterfield's off stump bringing a reward. At the end of an accurate over, Porterfield looks to force through the covers off the back foot, but width isn't there and the Irish skipper can only chop on to his stumps. Slight delay as we check the no-ball - heart in mouth for a live texter who's already proclaimed the wicket - but Wood has a slither of heel behind the line.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Ed Joyce is one of the best players you can see playing off his legs or through the covers."
Ire 22-1
This fixture is played every other year, with England travelling to Scotland in between. Ireland's most experienced pair at the crease, a pair of left-handers, Joyce tucking into a Bresnan half-volley with a thumping cover drive. Shot of the day so far. There's music played in between the overs. I'm not sure at attempt at razzmatazz quite fits in with grey May day in Dublin.
"The forecast says the rain will be here in an hour or hour-and-a-half and that we won't be able to escape. It may be then here for the day."
Ire 17-1 (Porterfield 7, Joyce 2)
Mark Wood gets an early lesson in his international career - don't overstep. A no-ball, a free hit, William Porterfield belting down the ground so hard that the umpires are forced to change the ball because it has gone out of shape. Wood, by the way, has only ever played 18 List A games in his career, so his one-day experience isn't vast. Add a wide to the no-ball, but his good deliveries look threatening - some movement in the air, the odd hit of the seam, mid-80s and above.
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Rob Meech: I'm sure Adil Rashid would much rather bowl on this tacky pitch than on a raging turner in the West Indies.
Ire 7-1
On a bowling morning, you don't want to be giving away wickets like that. It looked like a good call from Porterfield, but Stirling seemed to want to send him back. The hesitation was fatal and cost him his wicket. Ireland-England-Ireland international Ed Joyce is the new man, looking cold. A very good Bresnan over.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"It was a good throw from Jonny Bairstow. I just thought Paul Stirling might have tried to get in the way of the stumps. It was a small angle for Bairstow, but Stirling was run out by some difference."
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WICKET
Stirling run out 2 (Ire 6-1)
It's brilliant from wicketkeeper Bairstow, turning what looked to be a good Ireland single into Paul Stirling's walk back to the pavilion. Tim Bresnan bowling, hitting Stirling on the the thigh pad, the ball dropping to his feet. Porterfield called him through but Bairstow got to the ball, took his glove off and hit direct at the non-striker's end. Stirling was slow to set off and was miles out.
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Third umpire
Ire 6-0
I tell you what, Jonny Bairstow might have done for Paul Stirling here...
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Mark Wood has that wiry look about him, but I like him. He reminds me of the Australian Damien Fleming - he has a nice rhythm. He is trying to get the ball to come back into the right-hander.
"As an opener, this is one of those old-fashioned one-games where you need to get yourself in."
Ire 6-0
TV cameras show a chilly Peter Willey in the crowd, watching son David make his international debut. They are the fifth father-son combo to have played ODIs for England. The whippy Mark Wood stands still on his mark, pumps in, then almost hurls himself off his feet when he delivers the ball. Hint of swing both ways, pace in the mid-80s, reasonably accurate. Only a wide from it.
Ire 5-0
James Taylor rubs his mitts with a hand-warmer as he directs Tim Bresnan to share new-ball duties. Bresnan, playing in his first international since England were beaten by the Netherlands at last year's World T20, is immediately on the money, on Porterfield's off stump. The Yorkshire man supposedly has a new action, but the only new addition seems to be a big support on his troublesome right elbow. No great pace, but accurate. The only run is a Porterfield flash through vacant gully.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I do think Eoin Morgan should have been here. He is the one-day captain and it is probably in his interests to be here leading the team. It is disappointing in that respect but a great opportunity for James Taylor and some other young England players."
Ire 4-0
Wood, tall, haircut you can set your watch to, has a shortish, straight approach. A touch of swing sends the ball down Porterfield's leg side for a wide, with the skipper then taking a single in the covers to get off the mark. As spectators shuffle into their seats, Wood gets bounce to rattle Stirling's splice, but then strays to be taken for a couple to long leg. Last ball, in-hoop, appeal. Going down the leg side. Mixed start, but some encouraging wobble.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"The Irish guys are a very close unit, a core group of guys who get on very well and I think Phil really emphasised that through his coaching style. Ireland also have some exceptional players. They no longer have bits and pieces players. They showed that at the World Cup."
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Mark Wood is at the end of his run-up, it will be good to see him with the ball, rather than the drinks tray, in his hand. The Durham seamer, on debut, will be bowling to Porterfield, with Paul Stirling at t'other end. Two slips.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"England will be licking their lips. I think it will be old style one-day cricket today. Batsmen will have to dig in and it will get easier."
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It's chilly. The England fielders are rugged up under big sweaters. They take the field led by their mascot, I mean captain James Taylor. Grey, cold, damp. Feels like a bowling morning.
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Nigel: At last! A change from the usual faces well done England!
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We'll talk plenty about England and their five new faces as the day progresses, but there's a couple of things worth noting for Ireland. Firstly, captain Will Porterfield will open the batting in what is his 200th one-day international. Also new coach John Bracewell will be watching on before taking he takes charge. At the moment the players are meeting dignitaries - lots of smiles and handshakes.
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BBC Weather's Darren Bett: "There may not be an awful lot of play today. The forecast is not good. We could get an hour or two of play but once the rain arrives it is not moving quickly and may not clear away until about nine or ten o'clock tonight."
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The covers are off, we'll start on time. However, the finish might be in doubt. It's already grey and there's not many of what was expected to be a 10,000 crowd in their seats. The forecast doesn't look too clever either...
Text 81111
Will from Enniskillen: Wonder how the 5 new England players feel about taking on the best European team from the World Cup?
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Alan Lewis
Former Ireland batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I think it was an important toss to win and Ireland will have to bat well, particularly in the morning session and get stuck in."
And, while you're texting, tweeting and emailing, you may want an audio accompaniment for your Friday afternoon in the office/at school.
Test Match Special is on the air from Dublin and can be heard on Radio 5 live Sports Extra, here online and via the various BBC apps.
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Rob: Good opportunity for an associate nation. Why don't we play them in 3 day warm up games before test series too?
Get involved
Got all that? Excellent. Then it is left for me to ask you what you make of it all. Text 81111, tweet using the hashtag #bbccricket or email tms@bbc.co.uk. Also, on the morning after a general election, have a little think about this. If you were put in charge of English or Irish cricket for the next five years, what would your manifesto be?
Teams
Ireland: William Porterfield (capt), Paul Stirling, Ed Joyce, Niall O'Brien, Andy Balbirnie, Gary Wilson (wk), Kevin O'Brien, John Mooney, George Dockrell, Alex Cusack, Craig Young.
England: Alex Hales, Jason Roy, James Vince, James Taylor (capt), Zafar Ansari, Jonny Bairstow (wk), David Willey, Adil Rashid, Tim Bresnan, Steven Finn, Mark Wood.
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The Ireland XI is very familiar, featuring 10 players who played at the World Cup. Medium-pacer Craig Young comes in, he was part of the 15 in Australia and New Zealand, but didn't get a game.
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Northants all-rounder David Willey, Hampshire batsman James Vince, Durham seamer Mark Wood and Surrey pair Zafar Ansari and Jason Roy all make their England one-day debuts. There are also recalls for Tim Bresnan, Adil Rashid and Jonny Bairstow.
ECBCopyright: ECB
England win the toss and field
James Taylor makes a good start to life as England captain, calling correctly in Malahide. With rain about, he asks William Porterfield to bat first. There might be a little Duckworth-Lewis jiggery pokery knocking around later on.
England are giving debuts to five (yes, five) players.
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Yep, in their first ODIs since a disastrous/impressive (delete as appropriate) World Cup, England meet Ireland in Dublin.
A young, experimental England side looking to improve a nation's poor one-day form against a settled, battle-hardened Ireland riding the wave of a decent World Cup.
How far would eyebrows be raised if the Irish beat England at home for the first time?
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Friday morning. The day after a shock blue victory.
Friday evening. Blue win or green success? Which would be the surprise?
Live Reporting
Stephan Shemilt
All times stated are UK
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Latest PostPost update
If you're still here, I commend you. As you might have guessed, the game has has been abandoned, washed out - a great shame for all connected with Cricket Ireland.
Our next live action will be on 21 May at Lord's, for England's first Test against New Zealand. Stick with us between now and then, though, it could be a lively couple of weeks in English cricket.
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
Right, it seems like we're unlikely to get any cricket for some time, so I am going to take my leave for a little while. Keep listening to TMS, where they have assembled a journalists panel to discuss the future of Peter Moores.
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The DJ is playing Whiskey In The Jar. When it rains, the DJ really has to earn his money. He's set for a day of only playing tunes between overs, perhaps when a wicket falls too. When there's a delay, he has to go through the whole record collection.
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Stephen: "Home nations" style tournament involving Scotland even better idea. ECB not interested in helping development.
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Next to no-one in the stands now, they've seen the iceberg. Can't imagine we'll be having play for quite some time.
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Alan Lewis
Former Ireland batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Ireland have had an established team for some time, but what would be great would be if they had 18 players pressing for selection. That would keep every player on their toes."
Join the debate at #bbccricket
Matt Weekes: Shame weathers stopped play, it's a great opportunity for the young players to show what there made of, especially Jason Roy.
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Even fewer people in the stands now, which tells me that the rain is set for a while. I wonder how busy the barstaff are.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I remember Finn taking 6-100 in the Ashes a couple of years ago. He went for a few runs and almost got criticised because he had gone for too many runs. I understand that because England's ethos at that stage was to be very controlled and disciplined. But look at Australia when they had Brett Lee. He just ran in and bowled fast and took wickets. Steven has a lot to offer England. He should be told to go out there bowl fast and if you for a few we don't mind."
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Nick Ball: Excellent idea on TMS, why not make the ODIs at the end of the summer a tri-series including Ireland?
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There's a couple of unfortunate members of security staff being asked to stand in the middle, guarding the square. What from, I'm not sure. The stands are emptying.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"It was an indifferent start from Mark Wood, trying to find his feet. He can swing the ball at good pace and he is an exciting prospect. Conditions today could really show his credentials and I thought Steven Finn was impressive.
"He has had a bit of criticism recently, but he is tall and can bowl in this 90mph area."
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Alan Lewis
Former Ireland batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"This was one window for the game that England had because they are playing seven ODIs at the back end of the year.
"If Ireland could come into the arena of a three-team triangular series that would be a wonderful way of having the same amount of cricket but getting them involved. It wouldn't be a reward for Ireland but it would bring more interest into those games."
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David Gibson: Village cricketers have sympathy with England and Ireland. You spend all week getting a side together then it rains!!
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More sheets coming on.
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If this match is abandoned or heavily affected by the weather (that's premature chat at the moment, but I'm just throwing it out there), you can't help but feel sorry for all those connected with Cricket Ireland. They get precious few of these big fixtures and it would be a great shame to see it washed out.
Join the debate at #bbccricket
Adam Rogers: The England top order today is probably better than the one we had in the World Cup, and its supposed to be our reserve team?
Antman01: Why is Bresnan in this England side? That is not thinking of the future. England's baffling selection continues.
Mike Ball: Would like to see this England ODI team stay the same for a little while. Give the young guys a chance to show what they can do.
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There are huge, white sheets covering the square and the bowlers' run-ups. The rain isn't heavy enough to drive every soul from the stands, but they breed them tough in Ireland. The outfield started wet and might not take much more water.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"It was obviously a very important toss. You like to see a day like we had two years ago when we had an even contest but in these conditions it is going to be a real struggle for Ireland.
"James Taylor comes across as a very nice fellow. He is an energetic batsman and has done very well for himself. He was one of the success stories for England from a poor World Cup."
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That's all a little disappointing isn't it? The 18 overs we've had were quite-action packed, with this new-look England attack performing well. Ireland, on the other hand, have disappointed with the bat.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"We only had nine home games between 2009 and 2015 so they are really treasured occasions. It is such a depressing sight and it is the classic fear I have before any of these big games."
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Dave Hansford: Really like the look of this England team. Poses a lot of questions for the established line-up. Unleash the talent.
Kyle McGrath: England still a closed shop. James Harris (Middlesex) gets nine wickets in an innings, still behind Finn lobbing them down in the early 80s.
Rain stops play
Ire 56-4
And that is your lot. Comically, umpire Ian Ramage removed his hat and looked surprised, as if his headgear was sheltering him from the wet stuff. The players trudge off, the covers come on. How long before we see cricket again?
Ire 56-4
The rain is falling heavier now, with noticeable drops falling past the umpire's black hat. Still Finn, still an Irish struggle, spectators pulling on those see-through ponchos you're given at the log-flume. Another maiden, umpires to have a chat. In two overs, we'll have had 20, which would constitute an Ireland innings.
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Chris Parker: Ireland had a good winter but they still have a long way to go, such a naive performance so far.
Duncan Mitchell: This England team would have done alright at the World Cup.
Ire 56-4 (Willey 4-1-17-1)
David Willey is rewarded for plugging away on a full length and keeps on that for the final two balls of his over to new man Gary Wilson, the very good Surrey batsman. Replays highlight just what a good catch it was by Jason Roy, his leap was goalkeeper-style. Decent stuff from new-look England.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"That's the value of wickets as England have been able to keep their close catchers in and it was a very good catch from Jason Roy. Now Ireland are back in some bother. Balbirnie chased a wide one, as Niall O'Brien had done. Ireland have their backs to the wall so this will be a very important phase."
WICKET
Balbirnie c Roy b Willey 5 (Ire 53-4)
What a catch! Jason Roy, take a bow. Andrew Balbirnie, he of the off-stump flash in the previous David Willey over, gets a thick edge towards Roy at second slip, with the Surrey man lunging to his right to take a very good snaffle above his head. That's a first England wicket for Willey, too. Another loose Ireland shot, the hosts not getting to grips with the conditions. They might fall before rain can save them.
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Ric Ellinger: How much is Tim Bresnan's impressive bowling today down to the fact that he has been bowling regularly for Yorkshire this season? 114 over and 14 wickets in 3 matches.
Ire 48-3 (5 runs in last 5 overs)
That's an absolute rozzer from Finn, nipping away from Balbirnie, who would need a bat the size of a door to get an edge. Cold, wet, bit in the deck, ball all over bat. The only down side about being in the field at the moment is that you're actually outside, rather than the warmth of the dressing room. Still, England are buzzing about, keeping warm. As long as the weather holds, they have a real chance here.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"There is big pressure on Ed Joyce. We need someone to go on and get a sizeable score of at least 60 or 70. It was a very good toss for England to win, but to be fair to them they have started very well.
"He looks very comfortable, everything is hitting the middle of the bat and it is always a joy to watch him play. He is one of the great gentlemen of the game. He is Ireland's Michael Hussey."
Ire 47-3 (Joyce 21, Balbirnie 1)
I say Ireland are trying to resist, but Balbirnie's flat-footed waft at Willey is the shot of man attempting to fall on his sword. No tickle, but close. This is good from Willey, not flashy, but camped on a good area, not distracted by the rotation of strike between right and left-hander. Amidst the Irish struggle, Ed Joyce is looking reasonably unflappable. Plenty on him now.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"Whenever big-time cricket is in Ireland you are always looking at the forecast. But the forecast is not good so how much more cricket will we have, who knows?
"The most important thing for Ireland is to establish a partnership, the last thing they want to do is lose another wicket."
It's raining
Ire 44-3
Steven Finn, a man who was chastened by Brendon McCullum at the World Cup, is into the attack as rain begins to fall. More umbrellas, groundtsaff at the ready, umpires exchanging shifty glances. Finn not at top pace, but bowling good areas. Another maiden, the second in a row. England treading on Irish throats at the moment, home side trying to resist.
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Charlie: Been raining steadily here in the Comeragh Mountains County Waterford for the last couple of hours. Afraid it may be heading your way.
Ire 44-3 (Joyce 19, Balbirnie 0)
Still Willey, a lengthy, angled run-up. He delivers the ball from a low trajectory, looking for some shape away from the left-handed Joyce on a full length. Under a sky that remains dark, sends down a maiden on a decent off-stump line. Colin Graves, the man who has promised/threatened an inquiry, is in the posh bit. Can't confirm if he's quaffing anything or not.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"Tim Bresnan has put batsmen under pressure and they are not sure whether to play it or leave it."
Ire 44-3 (Bresnan 6-2-11-1)
I said Bresnan's action didn't look too different and it isn't, but his position on the crease is definitely closer to the stumps. On his return to the side, he's bowling well and twice rattles new man Andrew Balbirnie on the pads. There's a few more umbrellas up, but England might fancy beating the rain too.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"It's disappointing. In these occasions as a batsman you have to recognise that Tim Bresnan is the experienced campaigner and sit tight and just pick up runs at the other end.
"Niall O'Brien seemed in a hurry, but it was a very loose shot. There is now a lot of pressure on Andrew Balbirnie."
WICKET
N O'Brien c Vince b Bresnan 10 (Ire 44-3)
Ireland are in danger of falling in a heap here. The third wicket goes down and the Irish have had a hand in all three downfalls. This time it's Niall O'Brien, almost dislocating his shoulders as he looks to give a wideish one from Tim Bresnan the beans. The left-hander can only get a thick edge to first slip, where James Vince gathers it in the bread basket. England well on top.
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England bowler Stuart Broad on Twitter: Congrats all the guys making their England debuts today. Special day.
Ire 43-2
Debutant Mark Wood gives way to debutant David Willey, a left-arm seamer from Northants who also has a first-class batting average of 28. As I said, dad Peter is there. Would they feature in a Father & Son XI? The blond Willey skates in, hitting 80mph, but drops short to allow Joyce a pull for four. There's umbrella up in the crowd, but possibly in error. The wind has blown it inside out. Someone feeling foolish underneath.
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Jon Amor: Real chance here for some youngsters/fringe players to really show what they are about against a rising nation.
Si Lomas: So Sam Billings arguably the most exciting of all of them gets left out for the already tried Jonny Bairstow, typical England.
Philip Mulligan: As a Northants Steelbacks fan, I'm very happy to see David Willey make his England debut. Real prospect for the future.
Ire 37-2 (Joyce 13, O'Brien 9)
I tell you what, it's all happening. Another Ireland single as the ball drops at the batsman's feet, another Jonny Bairstow shy at the stumps. This time, the flame-haired keeper misses and there's no-one backing-up. Why is it that overthrows always bring such a huge cheer? They are the equivalent of someone dropping a glass in the pub. Is there anywhere else in the world where a smashed glass is greeted by a cheer? Anyway, powerplay done.
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Andrew White
Former Ireland all-rounder
"I thought James Taylor may have been more aggressive with his field placings from the start, especially with the weather conditions. Niall O'Brien loves the big occasion, and loves to get the bat on ball early on."
Dropped catch
33-2
Ireland should be three down and Mark Wood should have a second international wicket. New man Niall O'Brien the batsman, another flash outside off stump, flying to gully where Alex Hales shelled the chance. The Notts man really should have taken that above his head. Either side, O'Brien pulls two boundaries, one of which is greeted by The Only Way Is Up. Was that Yazz or Yazoo?
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OptaJim on Twitter: England have named five debutants in an ODI team for the first time since 1996, v Pakistan at Old Trafford.
Ire 23-2
The Porterfield dismissal was indicative of a slow-wicket, but Wood's pace has been good, nudging 90mph. What's this, have England got another? Bresnan to Joyce, a little tickle? Looks good and England can't believe it's not been given. No DRS, so no review. I tell you what, umpire Mark Hawthorne has got that spot on, it flicked the back pad. Well done, sir.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"After scoring seven off 20 balls, it was getting to Porterfield and you could see he was trying to get Mark Wood away. Porterfield was trying to force it and it can be tough as an opening batsman as you want to get some runs going and get some fours. But it is tough, especially when the wicket is slow."
WICKET
Porterfield b Wood 7 (Ire 23-2)
Bowled him! A first international wicket for Mark Wood, with his exploration of William Porterfield's off stump bringing a reward. At the end of an accurate over, Porterfield looks to force through the covers off the back foot, but width isn't there and the Irish skipper can only chop on to his stumps. Slight delay as we check the no-ball - heart in mouth for a live texter who's already proclaimed the wicket - but Wood has a slither of heel behind the line.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Ed Joyce is one of the best players you can see playing off his legs or through the covers."
Ire 22-1
This fixture is played every other year, with England travelling to Scotland in between. Ireland's most experienced pair at the crease, a pair of left-handers, Joyce tucking into a Bresnan half-volley with a thumping cover drive. Shot of the day so far. There's music played in between the overs. I'm not sure at attempt at razzmatazz quite fits in with grey May day in Dublin.
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Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special
"The forecast says the rain will be here in an hour or hour-and-a-half and that we won't be able to escape. It may be then here for the day."
Ire 17-1 (Porterfield 7, Joyce 2)
Mark Wood gets an early lesson in his international career - don't overstep. A no-ball, a free hit, William Porterfield belting down the ground so hard that the umpires are forced to change the ball because it has gone out of shape. Wood, by the way, has only ever played 18 List A games in his career, so his one-day experience isn't vast. Add a wide to the no-ball, but his good deliveries look threatening - some movement in the air, the odd hit of the seam, mid-80s and above.
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Rob Meech: I'm sure Adil Rashid would much rather bowl on this tacky pitch than on a raging turner in the West Indies.
Ire 7-1
On a bowling morning, you don't want to be giving away wickets like that. It looked like a good call from Porterfield, but Stirling seemed to want to send him back. The hesitation was fatal and cost him his wicket. Ireland-England-Ireland international Ed Joyce is the new man, looking cold. A very good Bresnan over.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"It was a good throw from Jonny Bairstow. I just thought Paul Stirling might have tried to get in the way of the stumps. It was a small angle for Bairstow, but Stirling was run out by some difference."
WICKET
Stirling run out 2 (Ire 6-1)
It's brilliant from wicketkeeper Bairstow, turning what looked to be a good Ireland single into Paul Stirling's walk back to the pavilion. Tim Bresnan bowling, hitting Stirling on the the thigh pad, the ball dropping to his feet. Porterfield called him through but Bairstow got to the ball, took his glove off and hit direct at the non-striker's end. Stirling was slow to set off and was miles out.
Third umpire
Ire 6-0
I tell you what, Jonny Bairstow might have done for Paul Stirling here...
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"Mark Wood has that wiry look about him, but I like him. He reminds me of the Australian Damien Fleming - he has a nice rhythm. He is trying to get the ball to come back into the right-hander.
"As an opener, this is one of those old-fashioned one-games where you need to get yourself in."
Ire 6-0
TV cameras show a chilly Peter Willey in the crowd, watching son David make his international debut. They are the fifth father-son combo to have played ODIs for England. The whippy Mark Wood stands still on his mark, pumps in, then almost hurls himself off his feet when he delivers the ball. Hint of swing both ways, pace in the mid-80s, reasonably accurate. Only a wide from it.
Ire 5-0
James Taylor rubs his mitts with a hand-warmer as he directs Tim Bresnan to share new-ball duties. Bresnan, playing in his first international since England were beaten by the Netherlands at last year's World T20, is immediately on the money, on Porterfield's off stump. The Yorkshire man supposedly has a new action, but the only new addition seems to be a big support on his troublesome right elbow. No great pace, but accurate. The only run is a Porterfield flash through vacant gully.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I do think Eoin Morgan should have been here. He is the one-day captain and it is probably in his interests to be here leading the team. It is disappointing in that respect but a great opportunity for James Taylor and some other young England players."
Ire 4-0
Wood, tall, haircut you can set your watch to, has a shortish, straight approach. A touch of swing sends the ball down Porterfield's leg side for a wide, with the skipper then taking a single in the covers to get off the mark. As spectators shuffle into their seats, Wood gets bounce to rattle Stirling's splice, but then strays to be taken for a couple to long leg. Last ball, in-hoop, appeal. Going down the leg side. Mixed start, but some encouraging wobble.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"The Irish guys are a very close unit, a core group of guys who get on very well and I think Phil really emphasised that through his coaching style. Ireland also have some exceptional players. They no longer have bits and pieces players. They showed that at the World Cup."
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Mark Wood is at the end of his run-up, it will be good to see him with the ball, rather than the drinks tray, in his hand. The Durham seamer, on debut, will be bowling to Porterfield, with Paul Stirling at t'other end. Two slips.
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Nick Compton
England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"England will be licking their lips. I think it will be old style one-day cricket today. Batsmen will have to dig in and it will get easier."
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It's chilly. The England fielders are rugged up under big sweaters. They take the field led by their mascot, I mean captain James Taylor. Grey, cold, damp. Feels like a bowling morning.
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Nigel: At last! A change from the usual faces well done England!
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We'll talk plenty about England and their five new faces as the day progresses, but there's a couple of things worth noting for Ireland. Firstly, captain Will Porterfield will open the batting in what is his 200th one-day international. Also new coach John Bracewell will be watching on before taking he takes charge. At the moment the players are meeting dignitaries - lots of smiles and handshakes.
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BBC Weather's Darren Bett: "There may not be an awful lot of play today. The forecast is not good. We could get an hour or two of play but once the rain arrives it is not moving quickly and may not clear away until about nine or ten o'clock tonight."
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The covers are off, we'll start on time. However, the finish might be in doubt. It's already grey and there's not many of what was expected to be a 10,000 crowd in their seats. The forecast doesn't look too clever either...
Text 81111
Will from Enniskillen: Wonder how the 5 new England players feel about taking on the best European team from the World Cup?
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Alan Lewis
Former Ireland batsman on BBC Test Match Special
"I think it was an important toss to win and Ireland will have to bat well, particularly in the morning session and get stuck in."
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BBC Radio Test Match Special
And, while you're texting, tweeting and emailing, you may want an audio accompaniment for your Friday afternoon in the office/at school.
Test Match Special is on the air from Dublin and can be heard on Radio 5 live Sports Extra, here online and via the various BBC apps.
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Rob: Good opportunity for an associate nation. Why don't we play them in 3 day warm up games before test series too?
Get involved
Got all that? Excellent. Then it is left for me to ask you what you make of it all. Text 81111, tweet using the hashtag #bbccricket or email tms@bbc.co.uk. Also, on the morning after a general election, have a little think about this. If you were put in charge of English or Irish cricket for the next five years, what would your manifesto be?
Teams
Ireland: William Porterfield (capt), Paul Stirling, Ed Joyce, Niall O'Brien, Andy Balbirnie, Gary Wilson (wk), Kevin O'Brien, John Mooney, George Dockrell, Alex Cusack, Craig Young.
England: Alex Hales, Jason Roy, James Vince, James Taylor (capt), Zafar Ansari, Jonny Bairstow (wk), David Willey, Adil Rashid, Tim Bresnan, Steven Finn, Mark Wood.
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The Ireland XI is very familiar, featuring 10 players who played at the World Cup. Medium-pacer Craig Young comes in, he was part of the 15 in Australia and New Zealand, but didn't get a game.
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Northants all-rounder David Willey, Hampshire batsman James Vince, Durham seamer Mark Wood and Surrey pair Zafar Ansari and Jason Roy all make their England one-day debuts. There are also recalls for Tim Bresnan, Adil Rashid and Jonny Bairstow.
England win the toss and field
James Taylor makes a good start to life as England captain, calling correctly in Malahide. With rain about, he asks William Porterfield to bat first. There might be a little Duckworth-Lewis jiggery pokery knocking around later on.
England are giving debuts to five (yes, five) players.
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Yep, in their first ODIs since a disastrous/impressive (delete as appropriate) World Cup, England meet Ireland in Dublin.
A young, experimental England side looking to improve a nation's poor one-day form against a settled, battle-hardened Ireland riding the wave of a decent World Cup.
How far would eyebrows be raised if the Irish beat England at home for the first time?
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Friday morning. The day after a shock blue victory.
Friday evening. Blue win or green success? Which would be the surprise?