Image source, Getty Images

"Oooooohhhhhhh!!! This is getting better and better and better!"

The words of John Motson in September 2001. Germany 1 England 5. The last time anyone seems to have been excited by an England performance.

James Hardy:, external Last time England excited? 5-1 over Germany. Nothing close since.

Sith666:, external The last time England excited me? Germany 1 England 5. Ages ago...

Rachel T:, external Last time England excited me? 1990 and 1996. Semi-finals in tournaments - something we haven't come close to ever since.

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At last, the first goal of the night.

And perhaps it's not surprising that it has come in Luxembourg, where Ukraine lead 1-0 in their Group C game.

Dynamo Kiev striker Andriy Yarmolenko fired home following a corner as Ukraine look to join Slovakia at the top of the group before the evening kick-offs.

Get your head down Natalie, we'll give you a call if anything happens. Nathaniel Clyne wins a corner which Phil Jagielka flicks on and it skims across goal.

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BBC Sport's Natalie Pirks on Twitter:, external "Clyne looking decent for England and Gskfjjyxhwoeodbjk.... Sorry, fell asleep briefly #snoozefest"

Gavin Gallagher:, external Let's be honest here, Slovenia should be one up. There's a serious lack of quality in the England team. Awful stuff.

Daniel Walford:, external Why do we do this?? Attribute England's success on the ability of one player?? Rooney is a top player. Ten more too please.

Mark Davey:, external Why is everyone saying this is dull? We just need to score one and they will crumble.

Better! Much better. Jordan Henderson wins the ball back high up the pitch and this time they move the ball quickly, Henderson finding Wayne Rooney in a pocket of space, he draws in a defender before finding Danny Welbeck to his right. It demands to be hit first time and Welbeck puts the laces through it, firing over the top. Not particularly close, but at least he pulled the trigger.

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Gary Cahill meanders up to halfway, jeers from the stands, and he gets it back from midfield. It's so slow. Wayne Rooney has hardly had a touch in the last 10 minutes or so.

Danny Mills
BBC Radio 5 live

"I want England to man up a bit, have a go and show some character.

"It's laboured, slow, it's obvious what we're going to do and easy to play against. I hope they change things at half-time. The pitch isn't brilliant but it's no excuse."

September 2008, that Theo Walcott hat-trick. That was a fine performance, for sure.

I guess the nature of these qualifying campaigns, with two teams from each group guaranteed a place in the finals, may lead to some complacency. But England are offering little in the way of entertainment.

When was the last time England excited you?

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Fozz:, external The last time I watched England and we were good is when we beat Croatia away and Theo scored hat trick. Years ago.

Salman Khan:, external ‏The last time England excited me was when they had to win to qualify for the World Cup against Macedonia and Poland.

Will Jackson:, external 2006 World Cup was decent England play. Good goal by Joe Cole, decent play on the pitch. It all went downhill from then on.

Deadly dull is spot on. BBC One's offering of Shane Richie presenting highlights of last night's Children in Need looks like a decent alternative right now...

Phil McNulty
BBC Sport chief football writer

"Deadly dull here at Wembley so far. No zip or rhythm about England's play and coach Ray Lewington has just called striker Danny Welbeck over for a long conversation near the technical area. All very comfortable for Slovenia and England need to find the spark that has eluded them."

Chris Waddle
BBC Radio 5 live

"I don't think the shape helps England. Raheem Sterling looks frustrated.

"We're relying on the full-backs to ask questions. Get Sterling out on the touchline and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on at half-time to play on the other wing and let's see what happens."

Image source, Getty Images

Almost the breakthrough for Slovenia! Simple as it gets, Milivoje Novakovic beating Danny Welbeck to a near-post corner and heading powerfully into the side-netting. Joe Hart watched it go...

Danny Mills
BBC Radio 5 live

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"Breaking teams down is not the easiest. Jack Wilshere has almost been anonymous for most of this game.

"Fans come to these games and they expect England to beat teams like Slovenia 2-0 or 3-0. That might be unrealistic but fans these days come to games to be entertained. Slovenia would be happy to take a draw out of this, make no mistake about it."

Nathaniel Clyne has been the bright spark for England so far. He makes himself available once more and Danny Welbeck puts him in, but his low cross is defended well. Freeing Clyne down the right looks like England's only real route to goal yet.

Image source, Reuters

Scotland v Republic of Ireland was a welcome tonic when it comes to international qualifiers. The crowd were brilliant, the tackles were flying in, everyone was involved. There was passion and commitment on display and even a fine goal to settle matters.

Wembley is a very different arena thus far. When was the last time England excited you?

Chris Rushton:, external Wembley is missing all the passion, speed and, yes, quality from last night's match at Celtic Park. Sad.

Haunted Magazine:, external Thought we were playing away, the pitch is a mess, an absolute disgrace for the home of football!!

Matt Cooper:, external No one can complain about the Wembley pitch. My game today had puddles for goalmouths.

Other yeast-extract based spreads are available.

England's captain Wayne Rooney does at least have a shot, cracking a drive high into the stands after Danny Welbeck had won a header. Perhaps going more direct is the answer if this NFL-blighted pitch is causing trouble?

Image source, PA