Over the way, England and Scotland are going toe-to-toe for some Hadrian Wall honours.

We are going to pack our bags and head for the hills though.

Ciao for now.

Raphael Guerreiro's late winner was Portugal's one and only effort on target.

Argentina managed three, but it looked like both teams had already switched off mentally once their two captains had stayed back in the dressing room on 45 minutes.

Chris Bevan
BBC Sport at Old Trafford

"I'm not saying we've missed Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo much but until Portugal scored, the loudest cheer of the second half was for a pitch invasion by an Argentina fan. Still, at least we have a winner."

The teams trudge off towards the tunnel, neither look that eager to get back to the dressing room.

They might not like the reception they get when within earshot of the paying public either. There are whistles and jeers as Martin Atkinson puts this dog of a game down.

Who had Raphael Guerreiro as first goal-scorer then?

The 20-year-old substitute left-back dives in to head home unmarked as the Argentina defence go AWOL.

And that is all but the last bit of action.

A low cross from the left, skims off the surface hits Portugal striker Eder on the chin and bobbles well wide.

And it is probably the best moment in the second half.

Times football reporter Tony Barrett: , externalThis is absolutely turgid. People have paid up to £60 each for tickets for a complete non-event

Erik Lamela going in on Nani. It is hardly clash of the tackling titans, but Lamela goes in sufficiently clumsily to earn a yellow card.

Ricardo Quaresma squanders the free-kick with an ugly shank off his toe.

The crowd are showing admirable faith in the Manchester transport infrastructure. Plenty still sticking around for the final ten minutes despite little sign of any entertainment emerging from this kickabout.

Portugal coach Fernando Santos takes matters into his own hands. He tells William Carvalho, a regular gossip column gooseberry, to get stripped and takes Tiago off before he gets himself sent off.

Tiago has got the mood all wrong here.

With the game meandering along with little purpose or urgency, the Portugal midfielder leaps in with a scissoring sliding tackle.

In a competitive fixture he would be walking. Here, he is spared with just a stern final warning from referee Martin Atkinson.

Chris Bevan
BBC Sport at Old Trafford

"You can tell a crowd is bored when they do a Mexico Wave with 20 minutes to go, and it is now on its fourth circuit of the stadium. Radamel Falcao is staying firmly in his seat, but even he must be tempted."

Suddenly cheers, jeers and the sound of seats slapping upwards as people leap to their feet.

But, in the absence of anything of interest on the pitch, the crowd are making their own fun with a Mexican wave.

Still stalemate, but at least one loser for the evening has been confirmed.

The crowd has been announced at a shade over 41,000, some 4,000 short of the number needed for organisers to meet their revenue targets., external

I don't think they will be repeating this experiment any time soon.

Chris Bevan
BBC Sport at Old Trafford

"Cristiano Ronaldo's early exit might mean Old Trafford's matinee idol has finished his show for the night but Argentina have just sent on the pantomime villain in these parts, Carlos Tevez.

"Not the greatest welcome back to Manchester for Tevez, who is greeted by a cacophony of boos - from City and United fans, I would imagine - as he jogs on to the pitch."

Well that didn't take long. Angel di Maria gets the hook on the hour mark, with Tottenham's Erik Lamela on in his place.

Carlos Tevez is welcomed back to Manchester with a grumble as he replaces Gonzalo Higuain.

Chris Bevan
BBC Sport at Old Trafford

"It's all gone very flat here, as you would expect with the best two players on the planet having disappeared from view. It will be very interesting how long the neutrals in this crowd hang around for now they know they will not be seeing any more of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo tonight.

"If and when Angel Di Maria gets hauled off then the Manchester United fans here might lose interest very quickly, for starters."

Former Chelsea midfielder Tiago does a little Riverdance rendition on the shinpad of Javier Mascherano to pick up a booking.

Mascherano does not have happy memories of Old Trafford. When playing for Liverpool, he was shown a straight red in a 3-0 defeat against United in 2008.

Jay on Twitter:, external If I were at Old Trafford right now, I'd expect half my money back. Nobody came to watch Argentina vs Portugal