Ronaldo wins Ballon d'Or
Messi is runner-up, ahead of Neuer
Stephanie Roche misses out on Goal of the Year
James Rodriguez wins Puskas Award
Fifpro XI, plus five other awards, announced
Louis Baker-Stroud:, external That volley from James Rodriguez has to win it for me. Doing that at the biggest stage in football takes something special!
Adam:, external I'd go for RVP, his goal was extraordinary. Not saying volleys are easier, but scoring a header like that is mental.#
Michael Harvey:, external Stephanie Roche has got to win goal of the year, pure class!
Image source, Getty ImagesLionel Messi, looking rather quizzical, is asked how he explains his feat of having scored 50 goals in each of the past four seasons.
He says: "It is simply a matter of trying to improve year-on-year. This needs a great deal of help from my team mates, of course. I've always enjoyed playing football, ever since I was a boy. I try to have fun every time I go out onto the pitch."
Not a hint of a smile on Lionel Messi's face as he listens to Luis Enrique's message.
That all changes moments later when his footballing hero appears on screen. Maradona? Kempes? No, it is Pablo Aimar!
Messi grins from ear-to-ear as the curly-haired ex-Valencia and Argentina playmaker wishes him luck.
Barca coach Luis Enrique: "He does things with the ball and does them with such ease that he looks like he's playing in a school match. He's without a doubt the best player ever seen. He's also able to make assists and defend when necessary. Basically he's the complete player in every way. I hope that you carry on enjoying football, Leo."
Lionel Messi is the next Ballon d'Or nominee to step on to stage, as the audience are shown a highlights reel of his year.
The man chosen to appear to speak glowingly about his achievements? Barca coach Luis Enrique. Seriously. The same Luis Enrique who Messi is supposed to have had an almighty training-ground row with....
Image source, Getty ImagesDrew Anderson:, external Stephanie Roche for 'Goal of the Year'. Shows that PURE talent is alive, away from the pampered, preening few.
NEGOS:, external For the best goal? Stephanie Roche is my favourite. Exquisite goal from her.
Anyone backing Robin van Persie or James Rodriguez for the Puskas Award?
Image source, Getty ImagesFive volunteers appear to collect the award on behalf of their colleagues. One of the quintet - an elderly Dutchman whose name I didn't quite catch - takes centre stage. He reels off a four-minute acceptance speech, even thanking his missus at the end. Everyone else in the room looks bemused, even Brazil striker Martha smirks.
This award is pretty self-explanatory. But here's how the governing body explain it:
"Each year Fifa also commends other persons or institutions for their fair play, an issue that has always been of crucial significance to world football's governing body. Fifa aims to promote the principles of fair play through projects and campaigns."
And the winner is.... the volunteers. That's the thousands of volunteers who gave up their time to work at Fifa competitions - including the World Cup - over the past 12 months.
Alex Haworth:, external Atletico Madrid win the league title, come within a minute of winning the Champions League, and Simeone isn't coach of the year.
Vivek K Singh:, external Simeone should have been the Coach of the Year. Winning a league over this Real and Barca, don't think anyone else can do that.
Image source, Getty ImagesLegendary German coach Ottmar Hitzfeld, who is celebrating his 66th birthday today by the way, knows a thing or two about leading a successful team.
So it is rather apt that he is there to hand over the prize to countryman Joachim Low.
More reaction to that Fifpro XI...
David Hickey:, external World XI is a joke. Most of those players picked on reputation. Where is Luis Suarez? No Atletico players?
Stephen Hay:, external Shows how far Thomas Mueller flies under the radar. Snubbed.
Darren Bradley:, external As a MUFC fan, I cant see how Aguero didn't make the FifPro XI (in place of Robben), let alone a nomination for the Ballon d'Or!
Image source, Getty ImagesGermany boss Joachim Low: "It is a huge honour after what's been an incredibly successful year. It's the icing on the cake - the cake obviously being the World Cup. I'm just taking this award on behalf of everybody who has taken this team to where it is.
"Winning the World Cup is the consequence of lot of hard work and many good decisions. I would like to thank all the German coaches who do so much good work with the young players. They are all Coaches of the Year."
Germany coach Joachim Low hails the talents of three of his World Cup-winning stars who are sat in the audience. The camera pans to Philipp Lahm, Manuel Neuer and Toni Kroos who hang intently to Low's every word.
"It is a gift to be able to work with you," he tells them.
He's got a marvellous head of jet black hair. He wears trendy clothes. He led his country to the World Cup.
Of course the winner is Joachim Low!
Image source, ReutersThese are the three men who are battling for the Coach of the Year (Men's Football) prize.
Italian coach Carlo Ancelotti achieved what the likes of Jose Mourinho and Manuel Pellegrini could not - leading Real Madrid to the almost-obsessional 'La Decima'.
Los Merengues clinched their 10th European title by meeting neighbours Atletico Madrid in the Champions League final, but that defeat did not take the shine off an exceptional season for Diego Simeone and his merry men. The Argentine masterminded Atletico's first La Liga triumph since 1996 as they ended Real and Barca's 10-year duopoly on the Spanish league.
The final nominee is Germany coach Joachim Low. You might remember that he led Die Mannschaft to World Cup glory last summer...
Image source, Getty ImagesRalf Kellermann: "This award is an outstanding moment. I would like to thank many people. Unfortunately I've picked up an individual award for what is team sport, so I dedicate this to my whole team. I would also like to pay tribute to [Wolfsburg midfielder] Junior Malanda, who was so sadly taken from us two days ago."
And the winner is....Wolfsburg boss Ralf Kellermann. The 46-year-old was on the last year's shortlist but missed out on the prize. Not this year.
Humbly he praises the efforts of his team - "it's unfortunate that I've won an individual award on behalf of the team" - before paying tribute to young Wolfsburg player Junior Malanda who died at the weekend.
Image source, Getty ImagesThird on the schedule is the women's world coach award.
Wolfsburg's Ralf Kellermann, Germany Under-20 boss Maren Meinert and Japan coach Norio Sasaki are the final three this year.
Kellerman, 46, led German club side Wolfsburg to the defence of their European title, Germany won the Under 20 Women's World Cup under Meinert, while Sasaki guided Japan to their maiden AFC Asian Women's Cup win.
Time to profile the first Ballon d'Or nominee - step forward Cristiano Ronaldo. The Portuguese forward listens intently as tennis star Rafael Nadal appears on screen to provide a gushing message against his year.
"I want to congratulate you on the year you've had," says the Spaniard. "I consider your drive and desire to improve on a daily basis a fantastic example for the younger generations."