Both sides chasing their first points of the season
Newcastle yet to score a goal since promotion
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And here is your team...
Image source, #bbcfootballNewcastle v West Ham (15:00 BST)
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Newcastle v West Ham (15:00 BST)
Image source, Getty ImagesThis sounds a little bit like, "I'll try to ensure they have about 20 points by Christmas before I take a hike" from Newcastle gaffer Rafa Benitez.
"My aim is trying to improve things so when I leave - whenever it is - I would like to be sure that the team and the football club will be better," said the Spaniard this week.
"Normally, managers talk about projects saying they need four or five years. I'm not talking about that because you never know in football.
"But when we came here, we knew there were some issues and we had to improve things. I am sure we have improved some things, but we need to improve more."
Newcastle v West Ham (15:00 BST)
Newcastle make one change from the side that lost 1-0 at Huddersfield last week, with £5m signing Joselu replacing Dwight Gayle in attack.
Image source, .West Ham make two changes from the starting XI that lost 3-2 to Southampton, with defender James Collins and Edimilson Fernandes in for the suspended Marko Arnautovic and Jose Fonte.
Image source, .Newcastle v West Ham (15:00 BST)
Is the big man starting for West Ham?
Newcastle v West Ham (15:00 BST)
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
Sadly, it's real life Newcastle and West Ham fans. You have no points and are struggling somewhat.
There are no rhapsodies from either sets of supporters just the realisation that this could yet be another season of struggle.
On the plus side, it's only August.
If you were a betting/non-betting person then you'd say that Newcastle are the club of the two that face an apocalyptic future. Think Sarah Connor's dream from Terminator 2.
They were awful against Huddersfield last week and their squad, at the moment, looks barely better than the one that helped them to the title. Just to add, there's a mile-long chasm of difference between level one and two. You knew that though.
Hammers boss Slaven Bilic says he hopes to start ex-Magpie Andy Carroll. The big man was almost unplayable (in a good way) during his time at St James'.
It would come as no surprise if he shines again at Newcastle's cathedral.
We go again in a bit...