Henri Saivet
He's the guy who made the mistake for the goal.
Unbelievable.
Henri Saivet, who only moments ago was shaking his head for the loose pass that led to the Hammers opener, fires home a brilliant free-kick from about 30 yards which sneaks inside Adrian's near post.
You could not script it - well, you could but it'd be chucked out of an LA office.
Image source, ReutersMarko Arnautovic
Oh dear Henri Saivet.
In his first league start under Rafa Benitez he gives the ball away about 45 yards from goal.
Marko Arnautovic charges forward, drifts past a couple of defenders and slots past Rob Elliot.
An awful start for the Magpies - a great one for the happy Hammers.
Image source, Getty ImagesWest Ham 0-0 Newcastle
Hammers win a corner although defender DeAndre Yedlin disputes that it came off Arthur Masuaku last.
The ball is delivered into the area but Lee Mason spots some sort of infringement against a Newcastle player in the area.
Free-kick to the men in black and white.
West Ham 0-0 Newcastle
We are ho! ho! h-under way.
Sorry.
#notsorry
West Ham v Newcastle (15:00 GMT)
Simon Brotherton
MOTD commentator
Sunderland fans may have been surprised by David Moyes' bullish claim this week that he could manage any club in the world.
Relegation under his guidance is still fresh in the memory on Wearside, but he has certainly raised hope at West Ham. Seven points from the last nine, with three clean sheets, wasn't the expected outcome from games against Chelsea, Arsenal and Stoke.
This match provides a decent chance of keeping their recent run of success going, with Newcastle on such a wretched run.
Last week's defeat at Arsenal saw them slip into the bottom three and led to the players cancelling their own Christmas party, which seems a wise move in the circumstances.
Image source, Getty ImagesBubbles blowing.
That song being sung.
The stadium triangles lit.
It's almost time.
BBC Sport asks the big Christmas questions to the managers...
That feeling when you put your out-of-office on for Christmas
West Ham v Newcastle (15:00 GMT)
The Redbridge Brass band are playing at the London Stadium - they are all wearing Xmas jumpers.
It's all very lovely.
Altogether now: "Jingle bells, Batman smells...."
To commemorate Craig David's appearance in Lawro's Predictions I am renaming our Premier League Predictor, 'Premier League Selecta'* - which you can have a go with if you click on this link.
If you can fill it in that would be great... and you won't have to wait seven days to have another go.
*Apologies to those who don't have the foggiest what I'm on about.
#bbcfootball or text 81111 (UK only)
Image source, ReutersAny thoughts on the game coming up and thoughts during the game can be posted using the medium of tweet and text.
Keeps it interactive.
West Ham v Newcastle (15:00 GMT)
West Ham make five changes from the side that lost 1-0 to Arsenal in the Carabao Cup last eight with keeper Adrian, full-back Pablo Zabaleta, forward Marko Arnautovic, Cheikhou Kouyate and Michail Antonio returning to the starting XI.
West Ham XI: Adrian, Reid, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Zabaleta, Kouyate, Obiang, Masuaku, Ayew, Arnautovic, Antonio.
Subs: Carroll, Sakho, Hernandez, Collins, Hart, Quina, Rice.
Image source, .Newcastle midfielder Henri Saivet is a surprise inclusion as he makes his first league start of the season, while fellow midfielders Mo Diame and Matt Ritchie return to the line-up. Ciaran Clark is back in the heart of the defence and striker Dwight Gayle starts. Forward Ayoze Perez who has appeared in 17 league games for the Magpies drops to the bench.
Newcastle XI: Elliot, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Manquillo, Atsu, Saivet, Diame, Ritchie, Gayle, Joselu.
Subs: Dummett, Murphy, Aarons, Perez, Mbemba, Haidara, Darlow.
Image source, .West Ham v Newcastle (15:00 GMT)
Image source, ReutersOn this day in 2010... Inter Milan reached an agreement with coach Rafael Benitez over the termination of his contract with immediate effect.
Just saying.
Look, it won't happen today. It probably won't happen today.
But let's say that Newcastle lose today. Then on Boxing Day. Then at home to Brighton. Then...
Do Newcastle stick or twist? Do the previously unthinkable?
We might be asking the same questions closer to 17:00 GMT.
Anyway, it's slightly rejuvenated West Ham v low on rejuvenation Newcastle coming up at London Stadium - an ideal location for post-match last-minute Xmas shopping BTW.