Lee Johnston: Road racer recovering from 'mental trauma' of NW200 crash
- Published
Lee Johnston crashed in Supersport practice on 11 May
Motorcycle racer Lee Johnston says he is speaking to a psychologist after suffering from "mental trauma" after a heavy crash at the North West 200.
Johnston, 34, crashed in Supersport practice in May and was airlifted to hospital, where he underwent a nine-hour surgery on numerous injuries.
The Northern Irishman admits he can't remember anything about the accident.
"I was having these massive episodes of basically having a meltdown and crying," he said on YouTube., external
"I don't know what happened because I have absolutely no memory, but I know I tucked the front and I crashed."
The Supersport qualifying session was immediately red-flagged and Johnston was treated at the scene before being transported to Portstewart by ambulance and then airlifted from the circuit to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast.
Johnston had received a blood transfusion on the golf course beside the circuit before being transferred to hospital, where he spent three days on a ventilator.
He suffered a broken femur, shoulder, fractured foot and face, broken ribs, a collapsed lung and internal bleeding. He says he is "weak and fragile but we're making progress".
"Honestly, things have not been great since then. Not just physically, but mostly mentally," the Ashcourt Racing rider added.
"My head just wasn't in the right place. I was suffering.
"I was crying at random things, I don't know why or what. Now, with the more research I've done, it was to do with the trauma of the accident and what my body went through and what my brain has gone through.
"I knew from within two days from waking up in the hospital that there wasn't something right.
"I kept saying to Christie [his partner], I thought someone else went to sleep in the hospital and this person has woken up.
"It sounds crazy but that's what it felt like in my head".
'It just wouldn't leave me'
Johnston says he is "getting a lot better" since going to see his psychologist, and his mental scars are now beginning to heal alongside his physical injuries.
He added that the last thing he remembered was waving to fellow rider Conor Cummins leaving the pits, and his memory came back as he came out an induced coma "four or five" days later.
"Obviously you have some bad days, but the biggest thing I suffered with was the feeling of letting people down. Failing, like I'd let the team down, my sponsors down, let myself down and I don't know why.
"A massive part of my job is you have a crash, get hurt and that's it. Because I had such a good start to the year with the British Championship and I was so happy with the bikes, I think it made it worse.
"That was really hard to take at the start. Once I sort of got over that, I thought I was okay but the trauma of it all just wouldn't leave me."
Lee Johnston is a winner at the Isle of Man TT road races and is a multiple winner at the North West 200
Johnston said that previous trauma from accidents had come spilling out following his crash at the North West and had hit him mentally.
"I didn't know what was happening and it wasn't easy to take, especially when you base your whole life being mentally tough.
"Do you ever pack your car and everything fits in the first time, and you go to put it back in the second time and it doesn't fit. That's what's happened in my head right now.
"I went to see a psychologist who was a trauma specialist. Honestly it's the best thing I've ever done.
"If anyone else out there is, not even suffering from trauma but just suffering, go and see someone or talk to someone.
"Sitting with these demons in your head, it doesn't help anyone."