Shaunagh Brown column: England prop on why World Cup selection seemed unlikely
- Published
When I was younger, going to a Rugby World Cup was not something I envisioned in my future.
Never mind when I was a kid - even aged 25 I would not have expected it.
I'm 32 now. I've been a commercial diver, a central heating engineer, a firefighter, a Commonwealth athlete in hammer throw and a boxer - now I'm going to my first Rugby World Cup.
I'm part of the England side traveling to New Zealand, where we face Fiji in our first group game on 8 October.
Since I stopped athletics eight years ago, I knew I was going to go on to achieve more than I was supposed to.
I'm female. I'm mixed race. I'm from a single-parent family. I'm from a council estate in Waterloo and grew up in a housing association rented house in Peckham. I got GCSEs but no A Levels.
On paper, there is not a lot going for me in this society.
That was never going to stop me - I knew I was always going to do more than I was entitled to.
I enjoy defying expectations. I enjoy the look I get when I tell people I play rugby and they think I don't look or sound like a rugby player.
'I play for the girl who doesn't know rugby's power'
My upbringing and where I am now are worlds apart and it is entirely because of sport and the support system around me.
I play for the little girl who looks and sounds like me, who is from the same area as me but does not even know what rugby is at the moment and the power it can have to change her life.
It's the mentality of wanting to do things for yourself even when it is emotionally tough because no one else in the room looks like you.
You can't do it on your own. When I was working at the fire service I would need to get part of my shift covered to get to training on time or to avoid leaving a match at half-time.
Nine times out of 10 someone would come in early or stay an extra hour.
Brown with her mother Lesley Rickards at England's game against the United States earlier in September
My mum, brother and sister all cook so there's always food at home for me - I don't have to factor in time for that.
In my family, the world definitely does not stop for rugby but they are extremely supportive.
I got my nephew Tyler to read the squad announcement message out when it arrived and all my family were around me.
They all celebrated, except my six-year-old nephew Zach who was busy playing his games console and told us to be quiet so he could concentrate.
All those people who have supported me along the way have directly contributed to me making that World Cup squad.
'Sadia Kabeya is a source of support'
Sadia Kabeya, 20, beat World Cup winner Vicky Fleetwood to a place in the England squad
An important source of support for me in the squad is Sadia Kabeya.
I would like to think that my time in England camp has made life easier for other black and mixed-race players, like Sadia, and having her there makes a difference for me too.
Me and Sadia share so many experiences. It's not just skin colour, it's our culture.
She grew up in south east London like me. It's the music we listen to, it's the foods we eat at home, drinks brands, TV programmes.
Before Sadia was called up, it would sometimes be lonely when everyone was getting their hair done on game day and no one felt confident doing my hair.
I would have to try and sort my hair out a week before, so it wouldn't be fresh for the match.
When I saw Sadia on the squad list, I thought 'yes, I'm going to have fresh hair throughout'.
We have someone who understands and we can laugh things off together.
'I've been knocked back, but I've made it'
I'm 12 years older than Sadia, but I never felt it was too late for me to go to the World Cup.
Everything I did in my previous jobs and my athletics career built the foundations for something that I didn't know was coming.
That's pretty much how I live my life. I don't plan for the future because as long as I'm using this day to its maximum, something good might come of it eventually.
I could have very easily not been in this squad. I didn't play at all in the 2021 autumn internationals.
In the 2022 Women's Six Nations, I only played about 55 minutes - one start and one 10 minutes off the bench.
Throughout training camps in July and August, selection was on my mind every day. I needed to attack each session as if I were playing for World Cup selection.
There was no time for off moments, rough days or bad attitudes. It was about proving to myself, more than anything, that I could do it.
There were a lot of times since the autumn that I thought 'why am I doing this to myself?' I thought I had had a good time in rugby and I could just finish there.
But I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. Physically I wouldn't say there is too much special about me. I am tall and heavy, but that is it.
What is elite about me is my mindset, attitude and willingness to make changes.
I've been knocked back very heavily, not getting selected and struggling with a neck injury, but here I am again and I have made it to the World Cup.
Shaunagh Brown was speaking to BBC Sport's Becky Grey.