Freddie Steward: England full-back locked himself away after Six Nations red card
- Published
England full-back Freddie Steward says his controversial sending off in the Six Nations made him feel like "the smallest player in the world".
Steward was dismissed during the defeat in Ireland on 18 March after his elbow made contact with Hugo Keenan's head.
Referee Jaco Peyper's decision was later rescinded by a committee.
"It had never happened in my career before so it was all new and it was pretty devastating at half-time," Steward told BBC Radio Leicester.
"I felt like the smallest player in the world, walking off the pitch there having been sent off. I went straight down the tunnel and tried to put on a brave face as I walked off.
"I locked myself in the cubicle and just let out a bit of emotion away from the boys because it wasn't fair for them to see that.
"You feel like everything is against you at that point. The lads were brilliant, telling me it was never a red card and not my fault. Part of me, at that point, was thinking, 'They're just trying to cheer you up - it is your fault.'"
Leicester Tigers' Steward gave evidence to the independent disciplinary committee, which found there were "sufficient mitigating factors" for the collision after reviewing all available evidence and ruled that Steward was free to play again immediately.
"It wasn't until I saw the support and everyone coming out and saying things that I realised maybe it wasn't so bad," said Steward, speaking to the Leicester Tigers Rugby Show about an incident that drew criticism from several figures in the game.
"I try to stay away from social media and don't go looking for things because you can go down a bit of a rabbit hole. My dad looks at things, he's terrible - but he only tells me the good stuff.
"The lads were getting around me and there was a lot of support, which I'm very grateful for. It was bittersweet because although it was overturned and I was able to play at the weekend, you don't get those 40 minutes back at the Aviva Stadium. I'll make sure that I learn and am better for it."
As Leicester approach the final two matches of the regular season, the reigning Premiership champions have recovered from three successive defeats at the turn of the year to win five in a row and rise to third in the table.
"We've had a lot to deal with," said Steward. "It would have been easy for the boys to roll over and accept that it wasn't to be this season.
"You've not seen that: you've seen a team that has come back and fought for each other. We're now in a position where we can challenge the top four and we've got two very important games to try to do that."
The Tigers host Exeter on Sunday before Harlequins visit Welford Road in the closing game of the regular campaign on 6 May.