Team GB badminton player Kirsty Gilmour on living with horrendous social media abuse
- Published
This is some of the abuse Kirsty Gilmour has been sent on social media in recent months
This piece contains some language that may cause offence
Apparently I'm part of a mafia. I'm a bitch. A prostitute. Why? Because I lost a badminton match.
Welcome to the world of being a professional athlete. Particularly a female one. And let me tell you, it ain't pretty at times.
Receiving nasty messages online sucks, to put it plainly. Some times it sucks more than others. Mostly, I honestly can just laugh it off, but it really can ruin your day just a little bit. It's takes the shine off, you know?
There is nothing to be gained by replying to these trolls. What I'd really like to say to them is two words that wouldn't make my grandmother very happy. And it's really hard not to give in to my base caveman instincts of just screaming profanities.
Instead, the current course of action is to block the account, report the message to whichever social media site you are using, notify the Badminton World Federation (BWF) and go along your merry way.
The BWF always take it super seriously, even tracking down the IP address of a death threat received by one player, and I sincerely thank them for it. But unfortunately, just by the very nature of it, it's always reactionary.
We haven't, as a society, managed to come up with any sort of preventative solution to online abuse.
I don't think I'm going to solve the issue here and now by writing this but maybe, just maybe, a potential troll will think twice. Maybe they will consider the actual, real-life human being opening that notification at the other end.
'Why do they do it? Because they've lost money'
Picture the scene. I've trained for the past 25 years of my life for this moment. I am giving it my all. Sometimes literal blood, sweat, and tears. The natural ebb and flow, ups and downs of the match occur. Then it's over. I've lost.
When that last shuttle hits the floor, I feel like I've been physically gut-punched. I debrief with my coach and we agree I couldn't have done any more. I played great but it just hasn't gone my way.
Then I reach for my phone and see a DM from an anonymous account. I open it and the usual drivel unfolds.
It's almost formulaic. It starts with a play-by-play of the scoreline, how I should be ashamed of myself, I'm a terrible player who should quit, and then the usual mafia, bitch, prostitute stuff.
If the message catches me at just the wrong moment and pushes just the right metaphorical button, it makes me want to pulverise my phone and the message sender into a billion tiny pieces, set those pieces alight then bulldoze the ashes.
Like I said, caveman stuff. It will make me viscerally angry in my very core.
Why do people do this? And to strangers? The short answer is because they are sad, bored and - apologies for the generalisation, but in my experience - men.
Judging by the way they reference the scoreline in their message, that is the only thing they have seen. Numbers going back and forth on a screen rather than humans playing a match.
They haven't watched a stream, far less actually been in the hall experiencing it live. There's no comment on the shots played. Most likely, they were watching those numbers on a betting website and I have just lost them money. Ding ding ding.
That's absolutely preposterous when you stop to think about it. I am on the other side of the world, minding my own business, doing my job. Yet I have made someone mad because of a decision THEY MADE to put a bet on me.
I was not involved. I did not tell you to do it. But somehow your anger is MY fault? I've got nothing to do with your poor financial decisions, buddy. You dragged me into this. I was happy not knowing you existed.
Could AI offer solution to torrent of abuse?
So here's another thing than perplexes me. Do trolls have nameless, faceless accounts ready to fire off uncreative insults from?
If not, they'll have to set one up. As an admin procrastinator, I almost admire them for that. Then they have to hunt down the target. A few keyboard taps into the search bar, profile clicked, and happy days. Now to open a new message window and get this very one-sided conversation started.
So there's at least three separate opportunities there for a wannabe troll to stop, take a breath and ask themselves: "Is this a productive and useful way to spend the limited time I am gifted on this planet?" But they don't.
The next step is maybe the toughest. It requires a certain je ne sais quoi. Time for the (un)creative juices to flow. "You suck blah blah blah. Match-fixer blah blah. I will hire someone to rape you blah blah." Pulitzer-winning stuff, I think you'll agree.
What do you think it is they actually want out of this? Is it simply an outlet for their feelings? Or do they want a reply?
I'm thinking it's the former. They aren't looking for an explanation. Nothing will 'un-lose' them the money from the bet. They are angry and want to direct it somewhere. Unfortunately they choose that somewhere to be my DMs.
Frankly, I could do without that so any chance we could stop it?
I've heard rumblings of potential AI software that can filter out abusive comments in almost real time. The French Open tennis did it and we had a similar service during the Tokyo Olympics. But myself and other athletes need some protection for the other 50 weeks of the year, please.
AI is evolving fast and this could be one of the ways to use it for good rather than evil. But for now, I will just have to stick with blocking keywords and phrases, having thick skin, and laughing off any comments that manage to sneak through.
For any trolls who read this far, wow, commitment! If it was a case of TL;DR, maybe go outside once in a while, seek a productive outlet for your anger (may I suggest sport perhaps?) and make better choices. Peace and love.