Daughter captures 'long goodbye' of mum's dementia

The dementia journey was captured in more than 1,500 photos

A woman who recorded her mother's decline with dementia in hundreds of photos said it was "hard" to capture the moments when she began not to recognise her own family.

Jenny Harris started taking the shots of 87-year-old Vivian Harris while she was in a care home when the Covid pandemic struck in 2020.

Years later, she has put the images together to show people the "raw end" of dementia in an exhibition called Our Long Goodbye, which has now opened in Sale, Greater Manchester.

The Manchester-based artist said: "It's like you're saying goodbye somebody while they're still alive".

"Mum moved into a care home, and then Covid happened, and I suddenly couldn't be with her," said Ms Harris, 60.

A year later she noticed her mum was was struggling with her memory.

She started to take shots of her mum through windows at the care home, and then continued when lockdown lifted, taking more than 1,500 photographs.

"Without realising it, I had created a visual archive of our relationship with dementia and each other," she said.

Jenny Harris said her mum Vivian was diagnosed with dementia in 2018

Each click of her camera captured the personal challenges of dementia, but also moments of love, joy and connection.

She said: "A lot of it is about my mum sleeping and not recognising us, and it's hard, but I think people need to see that because of a lot of it is behind closed doors

"I think let's talk about that rather than forget it's there or tuck it away."

Her exhibition will also be on show in Huddersfield and Stockport before finishing in Manchester at the end of the year.

"There are lots of things I've chosen not to show in this exhibition which are probably the more slightly brutal end of things, just because I'm not sure what my mum would have thought about that," she said.

'Talk about it'

Ms Harris has described the exhibition as focused on the idea of "anticipatory grief" and "mourning the loss of someone before they actually die".

Dementia is defined by the NHS as a syndrome associated with an ongoing decline in the functioning of the brain, with many different types, including Alzheimer's.

Symptoms include memory loss, trouble speaking and understanding, changes in mood and the way you speak, think, feel and behave.

Since 2014, Ms Harris she has been the lead artist with Storybox, a creative project for dementia parents and their carers.

Ms Harris said: "I'm hoping it will help other people maybe write about it and talk about it, and other people who don't know much about dementia to start conversations about it."

Each exhibition venue will have one free writing workshop with the first taking place on Saturday afternoon at Waterside in Sale.

"Our Long Goodbye is just one story, there are so many more about dementia and Alzheimer's," said Ms Harris.