The highs are priceless: My life as a foster carer

Vivian Adeleke and her husband have fostered nine children

Across the UK there is currently a shortage of 6,500 foster families, according to the Fostering Network.

Figures show another child needs a foster carer every 15 minutes.

So what is it like being a foster parent?

Vivian Adeleke and her husband Tunde, from Northamptonshire, volunteered for the role less than two years ago and have fostered nine children so far.

Ms Adeleke tells her story in her own words.

Every 15 minutes, another child is looking for foster carers

With fostering, you weigh it. If the good outweighs the tough, you keep going.

We have a preference for what people call the tougher group - 12 and above. It's what we feel our skill set and our lifestyle supports best.

We had two people arrive on the first day, but we staggered the timings so that each child felt that they were at the centre of each arrival.

The highs are priceless. It's that moment where you can feel they're trusting you, so there are things they are telling you that they've never told "the system".

For us, it's always been important that, while they're in our home, even when it's not working, they still feel safe.

'My safe space'

We had a young person; still one of my absolute favourite placements, but the toughest placement we had. We had 15 weeks of where coming into the home space was horrid.

You would say, 'What would you like for supper?' And he'd say, 'I'd like some chicken and chips.' And I'd make it and bring it to him, and he would just take his drink and pour it on it and look up at me, [saying] 'I don't want it.'

It takes every training session you've been in to hold yourself in that moment. The kitchen is my safe space where I go and count down - and then you've got to come back out and say, 'What would you like to eat?'

There is a shortage of 6,500 foster families across the country

He definitely took away those rose-tinted glasses. He proved to me that, to be effective in fostering, you need to be committed.

If that was my birth child, I wouldn't just throw you out, I'd try to work through why you're behaving the way you're behaving.

I do wonder all the time, 'Where is he, what's he doing?'

Our motivation was never fostering as a full-time job; we both still work. It was more an opportunity to open up our home.

If you're considering it, check your motives - why are you doing it?

The world functions within boundaries, so I think it's very important to educate and empower young people to embrace boundaries and see boundaries as part of existence.

Children who don't like boundaries won't do very well in my care!

When I read the referrals, I'm looking for the markers for me, which are being kind, and understanding we're all different.

For more information on fostering, you can visit the Northamptonshire Children's Trust.