Older domestic abuse often hidden - charity

A charity said some people had no idea they were being subjected to domestic abuse because of traditional views about marriage

A woman who was in an abusive relationship when she was in her 70s has said she felt like she "was in prison".

The pensioner, from North Yorkshire, left her partner after contacting the Independent Domestic Abuse Service (IDAS), which is based in North and South Yorkshire.

Her comments come as the charity hopes to increase awareness about older people facing domestic abuse from a partner or family member.

The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics estimate that more than 375,000 people over the age of 60 have experienced domestic abuse in the past year in England and Wales.

The woman, who wished to remain anonymous, said her former partner did not want her to go out much or take phone calls and isolated her from friends.

“Behind closed doors, they’re very nasty," she said.

"Mostly in my case verbally but there were a couple of physical things. I wasn’t allowed to do anything very much.

"It was like being in prison.”

The woman sought help from IDAS and managed to leave her partner.

IDAS engagement manager Carmel Offord said domestic abuse among older people was a hidden problem.

“We’re really just finding out how many people are affected and we’re quite concerned about how many are isolated or may have no idea that they are being subjected to domestic abuse," she said.

“Maybe that’s due to old, traditional mindsets about how gender roles should be, maybe it’s due to traditional ideas about marriage.”

Kadi Greenwood from IDAS said domestic abuse in older people can be emotional or financial

The charity has said 51% of its referrals for over 65s were people reporting abuse from a former or current partner and 41% disclosed abuse from an adult son or daughter.

It added that 23% of its referrals for over 65s were from men, which it said was a higher rate than in younger age groups.

“Among the older population we are seeing a rise in adult children abusing their elderly parents,” Ms Offord said.

“We are also seeing targeting of older people with additional vulnerabilities such as isolation and economic abuse.”

IDAS recruited its first older persons' domestic abuse worker in 2023 and has since added two more members of staff.

Kadi Greenwood is part of the team and has been trying to raise awareness about domestic abuse with people over the age of 60, particularly those who might not use the internet.

“It’s not new, it’s been happening for a very long time but it’s only recently been recognised,” she said.

“Everyone has their preconceived ideas about what domestic abuse is.

"A lot of it is control, a lot of it is emotional abuse and a lot of it is financial, especially among older people.”

If you've been affected by domestic abuse or controlling behaviour, help and support is available via the BBC Action Line.