Summary

  • More than 150 #100Women debates going on around world asking if women are under pressure to conform

  • Women in London have been discussing whether you need to be beautiful to succeed in the workplace

  • Email stories and comments to BBC100.Women@bbc.co.uk on Tuesday 1 December 2015

  1. Political precedentpublished at 17:19

    The debate in Albania asks why women in power can end up behaving like men. One explanation:

    Quote Message

    Women start to act like men once they enter politics because this is the only model that exists. They are forced to behave like this, in order to be heard!

    Debate in Albania
  2. 'Relationships are hard work'published at 17:19

    Ukraine

    Thanks to Maryna Grudiy, who sent in her debate highlights from Ukraine.

    The group said: "Relationships are hard work - the best relationships are partnerships.

    "And partners should build their common life and mutually decide about their responsibilities.

    "Because relationships differ, what is acceptable for one person is not for another."

  3. 'Relationships aren't a competition'published at 17:17

    “Who stays home often comes down to a matter of practical need," said comedian Kate Smurthwaite.

    "James was a single Dad for 15 years before he met me because it was the most practical option”

    Kate Smurthwaite.

    At the 100 Women debate in London, Kate's partner James Farr added: “I personally don’t see relationships as a competition. We are team, we are doing this together.”

    Quote Message

    I don’t see relationships as a competition

  4. The missing half in Afghanistanpublished at 17:10

    In Kabul, Afghan MP Shinkai Karokhail  told the BBC Afghan Service/Media Action Open Jirga debate: 

    Quote Message

    A society will progress only when we count on both men and women. I believe Afghanistan is backward because nobody is counting on half of its population, nobody invests in them, nobody educates them and nobody is empowering them. And this uneducated and under-empowered half is bringing up the other half.

  5. 'Women are becoming the men they want to marry'published at 17:08

    Mizan Raja, the owner of Muslim Marriage Events, said: “"Politicians haven’t really caught up with defining relationships. Men are becoming the women they want to marry and women are becoming the men they want to marry. 

    He told the BBC 100 Women debate in London: "We are not negotiating and communicating in the right language”  

    Mizan Raja
    Quote Message

    Women are losing their femininity

  6. Coming up: Albania, Chile, Germany and Norway join the debatespublished at 17:06

    Groups in countries around the world have been invited to host 100 Women debates today. 

    In the next hour, members of Counselling Line for Women and Girls in Albania, Chilean University students, women from FAWCO in Germany and the American Women's Club of Norway will join in. 

  7. 'We need more women in positions of power'published at 17:05

    UK

    Annie from Kendrick School in Reading, UK, thinks "feminine traits are perceived as a bad thing".

  8. Have you lied about success on a date?published at 17:04

    Tash Bell admitted she had friends who had downgraded their success to attract men, speaking at the 100 Women debate in London.

    Tash Bell

     “I have friends who have demoted themselves on dates because it’s gone down so badly with the guys,” the relationship columnist and writer said.

  9. Drawing strength from intimidationpublished at 16:58

  10. Schoolgirls see 'stigma' against women taking lead in relationshipspublished at 16:56

    UK

    Thanks to Kendrick School in Reading for sending in snippets from their debate about relationships. They said:

    • There is a stigma against women proposing or taking initiative in relationships
    • Women not working, historically, makes it more acceptable for women not to work than men
    • But it is important not to criticise women - or men - for not wanting to work and wanting to be supported.
  11. 'Society undervalues stay-at-home mums'published at 16:53

    Anne Fennell, is married to Peter and has a baby, she is also the vice-chair of the support group Mothers at Home Matter. She told the BBC 100 Women debate in London such women are undervalued.

    Quote Message

    Society undervalues staying at home and having children

  12. 'Drifting towards stereotypes'published at 16:51

    Jennifer Ross emails:

    Quote Message

    There's a lot of talk about women 'acting like men' [in today's debates]. Does this mean that men aren't supposed to be sensitive or empathetic? Or that by being loud and aggressive a woman is somehow less feminine? It's concerning that debates like this seem to drift towards social stereotypes.

  13. 'It was a challenge' being man of the housepublished at 16:49

    What is it like when your wife is the main breadwinner?

    “I think in the beginning it was a challenge, it was a struggle," said Rob Garrett, whose partner Jenny was earning and working more than him.

    Rob and Jenny Garrett

    "It was the ego, being the man in the house. Am I less who I think I am? I raised the questions and I discussed it with Jenny but I realised maybe it’s about support and seeing how I can do more.” 

  14. 'Success should not harm relationships'published at 16:46

    Reverend Rose Hudson-Wilkin, chaplain to the speaker of the House of Commons, said: “If the man is confident in himself, isn’t a wimp, there’s no reason he should feel at a loss if she’s successful.

    She told the BBC 100 Women debate in London women should not downgrade their success to find a man. 

    Reverend Rose Hudson-Wilkin
    Quote Message

    If the man has a problem then he needs to get some help

  15. 'Why can it be thought 'unprofessional' not to wear make-up?'published at 16:43

    US

    Thanks to Lisa Robinson for writing in from the US. She asks: "Why is make-up considered part of a "dress code?"

    "Why can it be considered 'unprofessional' not to wear make-up?" 

    What do you think? Email us on BBC100.Women@bbc.co.uk.

  16. Can men handle a successful woman in a relationship?published at 16:40

    We are now discussing relationships live on BBC World TV.

    Lucy Hockings

    Lucy Hockings asks whether it affects a relationship if the woman is more successful?

  17. 100 Women: What's it all about?published at 16:38

    100 Women came about after the gang rape and murder of Delhi student Jyoti Singh Pandey in 2012. It was developed as a series in 2013 by editor Fiona Crack, external featuring 100 women from around the world, and exploring women's challenges and achievements.

    Today, external, debates on leadership, image and relationships have been held around the world via the BBC's 29 language services. 

  18. 'Women are under a lot of domestic pressure'published at 16:36

    Pakistan

    Ramsha Wasti, at one of our debates in Karachi, says: "Women are these days are under lot of pressure to raise their children and also run the household."

    Women during Pakistan debate
  19. More on subservience...published at 16:34

    Vanessa Whaits, from the Helderberg Rape Crisis Center in South Africa, emails: 

    Quote Message

    A successful woman will enjoy a good relationship if the man feels equally or more successful himself. An unfulfilled man is unlikely to enjoy an effective relationship with a woman, successful or unsuccessful. Subservience has positive and negative implications... its boundaries [should be] defined by mutual consent, not religious or other external norms.

  20. 'Some abused women die in silence out of shame'published at 16:30

    Nigeria

    Thanks to Olabisi Ogunwale who has written in about domestic violence via email today.

    She says: "Some women are not aware that there are even laws that protect them while some are dying in silence out of shame to even come out and declare they are being abused and beaten by their partners."

    "The most important and urgent need is creating forums where women can be educated especially on their rights and be given advise on steps to take when such happens to them."