Nottingham maternity review: Coping with baby loss at Christmas

Jack and Sarah Hawkins say they have made a choice to remember their daughter Harriet

A independent review is under way in Nottingham into failings at the city's maternity units.

Reports into the failings found dozens of babies died or were injured at the city's two main hospitals between 2010 and 2020.

Families involved in the review have been speaking to the BBC about how Christmas is a time when they choose to reflect on their loved ones who have died.

'I feel like we need to remember her'

"We've got a little angel this side for Harriet," says Sarah Hawkins, pointing to a decoration on her Christmas tree.

In April 2016, Sarah and her husband Jack lost their daughter Harriet, when she was stillborn at Nottingham's City Hospital.

Five years later, the couple received a £2.8m settlement from Nottingham University Hospitals (NUH) NHS Trust.

It is believed to be the largest payout for a stillbirth clinical negligence case.

Christmas decorations emphasise that they are a family of four

A Root Cause Analysis Investigation Report published in 2018 concluded the death was "almost certainly preventable".

Ever since Harriet's death, the couple joined forces with other families to push for an independent, external review since the loss - a review that is now being carried out by senior midwife Donna Ockenden.

The families' constant battle for the truth has been exhausting and at Christmas, Jack and Sarah make sure they take time to remember their daughter.

"Harriet's our daughter. Whether she's alive or dead, she's always our daughter," Sarah says.

"I feel like we need to remember her because it's such an easy path to go down of just not talking about her or remembering her because it's just so painful.

"So it is making that choice to talk about her."

Harriet is remembered on particular decorations during the family's Christmas

The couple are also keen to remember their daughter for the sake of her little sister, three-year-old Lottie, who never knew Harriet.

"It's important too for Lottie," says Jack.

"To deny that Lottie has a sister and deny Lottie the opportunity to talk about her seems unfair.

"I find it difficult, but there's no way I want Lottie to find out in the distant future that this happened to her family."

"We wrote a letter to Santa yesterday and Lottie decided what Harriet would like," Sarah adds.

"I'm sure Santa will bring that too."

If you've been affected by issues raised in this article, there is information and support available on BBC Action Line.

'I don't want it to be a sad thing'

In the case of Kouper Needham, the coroner noted the family was unhappy with his care

"It's hard and it's bittersweet but it's to make sure he's part of the family at this time of year and that he's still thought about," says Natalie Needham.

Natalie's baby son Kouper died of respiratory complications in July 2019 after being discharged from the City Hospital.

His inquest ruled his discharge had been appropriate but the coroner did criticise the trust's feeding policy at the time and noted the family was dissatisfied with Kouper's care.

Natalie is a mum to five other children and she said Kouper remained very much part of the family.

Natalie decorates the grave with her daughters

They have planted a tree in his memory and also decorated his grave.

"In December we always come down and do Kouper's grave, just like we decorate at home for the other children," she says.

"Kouper is still very much part of the family so we bring a bit of Christmas cheer to [him]."

The tradition is one she carries out with her older daughters and she believes it gives her family a shared closeness as they mark their loss.

"This is my way of having time with the girls and our way of remembering Kouper," she says.

"I think all three of us are very similar in the ways we remember him and things that trigger us sometimes so it's nice that us three can do it."

Natalie believes the tradition also gives her family a positive way of spending time remembering Kouper.

Natalie says she does not want the tradition to be a wholly sad one

"When the children were here the day he was buried, they saw him going into the ground and it was hard," she says.

"Coming down to his grave, I don't always want it to be a sad thing.

"Christmas is hard because you do tend to remember everybody that you've lost, grandparents or anybody in the family.

"This is why we bring a bit of cheer down here - to make them remember it's not all sad.

"We always try and remember the good times we've had, which we find hard.

"We only had Kouper for 24 hours so we don't have a lot of those memories, so it's trying to make new memories each year so that we can look back and remember him that way."