Stormont: Bust-ups and a bunk off mark power sharing's return

So far we've had two internal party bust-ups and a claim that the new Speaker wants to "deck" a well-known assembly member.

The storylines to emerge from the return of power-sharing government in Northern Ireland involve a politician suspended for bunking off to manage a GAA team, with the possible help of a helicopter.

A popular former minister whose return led to his party leader having an on-air car crash (in the words of many on social media).

And the unexpected revival of a phrase about cleaning clocks, which actually refers to punching someone in the face.

And all this before the Northern Ireland Assembly has actually had its first meeting proper.

Oh, how we've missed it....

There's nowhere else to start but with a heavyweight contest, which began on the day history was made.

It was to be all about Sinn Féin's Michelle O'Neill becoming the first nationalist first minister.

Keen-eyed assembly watchers first of all saw veteran Sinn Féin member Gerry Kelly nominating his almost as well-known party colleague Caral Ni Chuillin as "deputy chief constable".

Unlikely, we thought....

The TUV's Jim Allister said Edwin Poots had "let himself down"

Enter stage left new assembly Speaker Edwin Poots, the man who once led the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) for three weeks and who recently said it would take something seismic to get his party to return to power-sharing government.

No sooner had he been elected as the new assembly's referee-in-chief when his former party colleague Jim Allister intervened.

"From Mr Seismic to Mr Speaker," said Mr Allister, leader of the Traditional Unionist Voice (TUV) and the DUP's self-appointed conscience.

Mr Poots wasn't going to take that lying down.

Asked about it on Radio Ulster's Good Morning Ulster programme, he replied: "I couldn't respond to that. Certainly he would have had his clock cleaned if I could have."

A Google search will tell you that phrase "often implies punching someone in the face".

• Balancing act ahead for a historic first minister

• NI power-sharing affords PM chance for a victory lap

• Dealing with division: A history of NI agreements

Step forward Mr Allister to respond: "Mr Impartial Speaker, the man who has an obligation to show no favour or no disfavour, is now on the record as saying he would like to deck me."

Mr Speaker, he added "has let himself down".

The closest we've come to something like that at Stormont is "the brawl in the hall", which involved some pushing and shoving but no actual "decking".

The return of mature politics indeed.

Back to the GAA manager who somehow made the 204.4 mile journey from Stormont to Chadwicks Wexford Park to watch his Laois team beat Wexford by 10 points on Saturday evening.

Assembly member Justin McNulty left proceedings at Stormont to travel to Wexford

To be fair to Justin McNulty he was unlucky the game was scheduled for the same day the Northern Ireland Assembly returned after two years.

But it did and making the throw-in meant he had to leave the sitting earlier than the SDLP would have liked - so they suspended him.

He was back on Monday morning taking a possibly unnecessary solo walk down the steps into the Great Hall where cameras were waiting to record a press conference with another GAA fan, Taoiseach (Irish Prime Minister) Leo Varadkar.

This one will go to extra time.

On-air 'car crash'

As will the rift inside one of the unionist parties.

No, not the DUP whose return to devolution has so far been drama-free save for a few testy moments in the House of Commons.

Instead it's the Ulster Unionist Party (UUP) we are watching.

It comes after one of its nine assembly members, Andy Allen, took to social media to question the wisdom of bringing Robin Swann back into the role of health minister, when he is set to contest the very-winnable Westminster seat of South Antrim in the next general election.

It led the under-pressure leader Doug Beattie to war-game a reversal live on Radio Ulster's Talkback programme, in which announced he would possibly remove Mr Swann from the general election contest so he could concentrate on his job as health minister.

Things seemed so much easier when devolution - not Mr McNulty - was the only thing that was suspended.

"You couldn't make all this up," said someone in the Great Hall. But it's Stormont so we don't have to.

More on power sharing in Northern Ireland

• FIRST MINISTER PROFILE Who is Michelle O'Neill?

• DEPUTY FIRST MINISTER PROFILE: Who is Emma Little-Pengelly?

• ANALYSIS: Balancing act ahead for first minister

• EXPLAINER: What issues are in new NI ministers' in-trays?

• BACKGROUND: A history of NI agreements (and disagreements)