Sexual abuser 'still has parental rights' over his children

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Media caption,

Jailed sex abuser keeps parental rights over his children

A man jailed for sexually abusing his own children has tried to stop them from going on holiday with their mother.

The convicted abuser tried to stop the children going on a break to Menorca, saying he did not give his permission as their father.

Here the mother of the children explains why she is trying to change the law to stop other parents convicted of the sexual abuse of their children from maintaining their parental rights.

When my husband was sentenced to more than 12 years in prison for sexually abusing our children, I thought he would be out of our lives for good.

He was also put on the sex offenders register for life and banned from ever having any contact with our children.

Despite this, he still retained his parental rights over them - this means, despite being behind bars, he has a right to a voice in every little decision I make over the children.

He can technically have a say on what school I send them to. He can also, if he wished, ask to have access to their medical records or school reports.

If this is not unfathomable enough, worse is the way in which he has exerted and abused this power from behind bars.

Each time the children and I have tried to move on with our lives, we have been thwarted.

In the summer, I booked a two-week holiday for us to finally have some enjoyment. But somehow he must have found out about it, because I received a letter from his solicitor accusing me of "taking the children out of the country without seeking their father's permission".

It also asked where we were going and who we were going with - I felt completely distraught, but more than this, I felt it was a violation of the court order.

Media caption,

MP Carolyn Harris says abusers should lose their parental rights

He is not supposed to have any contact with the children, either direct or indirect, so why should he be allowed to know where we were going?

I spoke to probation and the National Crime Agency, who all felt it was completely inappropriate, but he was just exercising his parental rights.

Ultimately, we all went on holiday and nothing happened, but it made the trip an incredibly stressful and painful experience.

Sadly, that is just one example of him exerting his power.

When my children decided to change their surname so they could disassociate from him, I had to go through a six-month battle in court, before he eventually agreed they could.

He has also blocked me from selling the family home that we owned together. His name is on the mortgage so I need his signature to sell it.

And even though he will never be able to live in it again due to the crime prevention order, he still will not sign.

Image source, Getty Images
Image caption,

The victim's family have been supported by New Pathways, a charity providing sexual abuse support services

Due to the fact the abuse took place there, my children and I have left that home and live elsewhere.

Yet I now have two mortgages to cover and without the help of family and friends, would be in a terrible situation.

As it is, the financial impact on me has been devastating, I am not entitled to legal aid and have spent roughly £10,000 on court proceedings.

Beyond the financial stress, though, has been the unjust impact of this upon myself and my children.

Because of what my husband did to my children, they have lost so much control over their lives yet they continue to have no control and, as such, cannot heal.

His rights have continually trumped theirs and he has a level of control that is grotesque and horrifically unfair.

I could enter another court battle to have his parental rights removed, but I no longer have the money and courts very rarely agree to it.

That's why I have asked Welsh MPs to get involved.

I want them to tell my story before Parliament, show how morally and ethically wrong this is and get some action on this.

Until then, my children and I live at the whim of a convicted sexual abuser.